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I changed my settings and she friended a friend of mine, local dj who accepts all friend requests. Then she was able to see because I had it set to friends of friends or something like that.

I private messaged to dj friend and asked her to unfriend OW. She did. I like leaving it on friends of friends because I do my class reunions and want my extended network, who I don't want to friend all of the,m to be able to see what they want.

I just find it silly that she persists in the spying, text messaging, emailing. She has stopped for right now. I told my H that I see when he tells her stuff about what is happening in our house that is when I get the hate. I told him to quit telling her my stuff. I know he won't stop. But at least then he can notice the cause and effect!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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Went for nice long walk, 4.26 miles according to my log your run computer. Don't leave out that .26! Anyway it was a good walk. I did discover the Hawaii equivalent of Black Ice. How about black mold growing on black asphalt roads?

I walked to the side of the road where big trees grow, about a mile from home. I hit that black mold and I'm sliding like crazy! I ended up in a skating stop right foot planted in front knee bent, top of left foot, shin and knee sliding down the little hill I was on.

Used my toe brake to stop. Beautiful form, only the toe of my shoe, the knot in my shoe lace, my shin and my knee were dirty. I got a road burn on my knee, but didn't even end up bleeding!

Thank goodness for the flexibility I've gained from Yoga!

So aside from that, while on my walk I said hi to one of the security guards over at the community college. I used to walk through there pretty often. I hadn't been walking for a couple months, been doing yoga and weights. I decided to put walking back in my workout routine, it is one of the best things for the stressed brain.

Anyway, the security gueard said Hi back, then he said: "You look nice!" I keep saying I don't know what it is about yoga, but I swear it really does help with the reshaping after/during weight loss! So with that compliment in my head, I will get some work done around here!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
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Wow... I think I need to start yoga!

I thought on FB if anyone had mutual friends it would alert you. I know OW and I had about 3 or 4 mutual friends. Oddly enough, her ex SIL be friended me. Her Ex SIL's son used to go to preschool with my D9. Now why on earth her SIL would want to friend me when we're not hardly aquaintences???? What even blew me away is she befriended one of my friends from HIGH SCHOOL??? This woman is 8 years older than me and she befriended someone from my High School about 2 months after I found out about them. I too had things set that friends of friends could see me. Then I decided to delete our mutual friends and re set it to friend only invite.

You'll have to excuse me Wendy, but did you ever feel like this OW wanted YOUR LIFE and did all she could to weasel her way into it, weave her tangled web she weaved and then take it from you?

LOl... and they say the MLCer places blame... listen to me talk.

No but really....XH's OW used to sit and stare at me alot, and never talk. She once told me how beautiful I was and that the girls looked just like me and they were so lucky because of that. Then she'd sit there and stare at me some more! I remember being weirded out back then!


M=42 XH=44
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XH marries OW 6/2014.
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Kimmerz, I KNOW OW is trying to steal my life. She wants it all. I think she is a sociopath. I think she couldn't tell the truth if you paid her. Too bad what she is going to end up with will be the bad half.

OW claims to have been kidnapped when hitchhiking while running away from the childrens home her folks put her in. She claims to have jumped from the kidnappers car and has a scar under her neck from where the knofe wqas held.

She claims she was in the hospital for 2 weeks, never spoke and no one ever figured out who she was......

She also claims to have been shot in the leg while a store she was in was being robbed.

I have never met someone who started off so charming and who went into crazy so well.

I had switched my FB to the new timeline, and hadn't noticed the mutual friend thing. I actually didn't even know she had a page 'til she texted me to go look at it. She didn't text me, it was one of those anonomyous ones.

She also has my H convinced I gave out her phone number and house number and all my friends were harassing her. When I asked to see some proof of this, like phone records, they wern't available. Funny thing. Well she is in Arkansas now.

I am doing my level best to just not engage her, and ignore her crap. Although I did start doing screen captures of the crazy stuff she writes on FB. She deleted most of it. But I got the last little bit of lunacy.

All is quiet right now, the love birds must be back on their honeymoon. They do great apart, and everytime they see each other all hell breaks loose......


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
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Oh My Word Wendy!!

Oh Wendy Im speechless. Just speechless.

How long were you friends with her before she starting making a play for your H?

Oh she is hands down sociopath/borderline crazy. They really come across as charming, engaging, your best friend, and will make damn sure that what is all yours will be taken away some way or another. People like her are drawn to caring, compassionate, trusting, loving, fun, smart, and wonderful people, and feed off it. Wonderful people like you Wendy.

So tell me this. If our husbands were smart enough people at one time to see the good things in us, how on earth can they be brainwashed by these sociopath OW? Sorry, here I am thinking rationally again....MLC= irriationality. I guess it's two wrongs thinking they're making a right? Seriously, just how do they entrap these men? I guess they just pump their heads full of everything they want to hear. I firmly believe that XH's point of view on me was radically altered by her pumping him full of lies and ideas. His mother caught this going on at Thanksgiving and pulled him aside and tried to talk sense into him, bless her heart.

I know it sounds so long ago, but I had a girl that did this to me in Junior High and even tried in HIgh School. This girl did her best to ruin me, aliente my friends, spread rumors, you name it, she did it. I hated her so bad, but then after time marched on I felt sorry for her. And boy oh boy did Karma catch up with her. I just kept on being me, and everyone soon knew the stuff she was saying was wrong.

So Wendy you just keep on being the wonderful you. Everyone see's it...especially those young guys trying to pick you up needing a cell phone...and of course the security guard. You're emulating the true beauty within!

I will keep being the wonderful me.

To say that this is "sad" that this has happened to our H is an understatement. But in the wake of all this pain, maybe this is our chance for our good Karma to come to us. I think we should give ourselves some credit and remember all the wonderful things we did for our H out of love, and how we just loved them and accepted them anyway. How we strived to stand and still love them when they're not loveable at all. How we took this oppurtunity to re discover ourselves, and how it will only enrich our lives from here on out.

And upon looking at ourselves like this, it's not to look down upon our H's and all the wrong they've done and that we're above or superior. But still making the choice to try in the wake of all this madness. gee... I think we're beautiful and brave souls to even try.

I've been very inpatient with myself for my huge waves of frustration, anger and resentment towards H lately. It's only normal and by golly I have a right to feel this way. I've been so mad at myself for even trying to stand and hope to outlast the MLC, and hope he comes back to us. My pride has taken a beating.

But Im not too proud to admit that I tried my very best. Just because it didn't come out the way I wanted it, doesn't mean I failed or Im a failure.


M=42 XH=44
M=18 T=21
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XH marries OW 6/2014.
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I swear Kimmerz, I have reach some weird point where stuff just isn't bothering me. H was getting texts while we were eating. So was I. We neither picked up phones. I said "Oh busy phones!" He said OW is sending him philosophical questions to answer.

I said, Really? He said I can't share them with you, if you write about it on FB she will get mad. I then asked when I had written anything on Fb to make her mad. I also told him he can look at my FB anytime he wants. I don't write anything on there I have to worry about.

Kimmerz, you come across as a wonmderful person. I'm sure we both will have nice things happen in our futures!

Heck, so many people on here say how things always turn out. Many of them seem to have an uncanny ability to predict the future, so I will believe them on that, too!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
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Hey Wendy! Teach me Yoga! lol

I just wanted to jump in here and say that when xh left and I was doing all the questioning. I said to him I thought he was Happy at home, intimate life included.
He said yes he was BUT he wanted to try something different, something challanging.
Now I know they lie but I think he was being pretty honest.
It was like he craved challange.
He told one of my good friends husband that he wanted to have twin girls! He said he needed a change and a challange.

We could not have stopped them if we were made of gold!
They think they missed out on something and are willing to take the risk (he said that too), of losing everything for the rush.
By everything, I mean family, kids, job.....even personal belongings and favorite hobbies.
Unreal!


_________________________________________
M:42
H:40
S:18
M:20yrs/together 21yrs
Bomb:9/08 ILYBNILWY
Sep:9/18/08 "ow" :25
Filed:11/18/08
D:12/8/08
M:Different 26 yr. old 7/09.
Newborn 4/10
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What is funny about the security guard saying I looked nice was that he was also a 20 something guy. Funnier is I started wearing only things that look attractive on me. I tossed out heaps of clothes. I bought more of the things I was getting compliments in.

One of those things was golf skirts. I wear those to walk in. I look great in them. H had made the bold statement on one of his brief "We are getting back together" spells that I was to never wear skirts or dresses again.

He thinks I look awful in them. I think he has my flaws under a microscope, and they look 100X's worse to him than to normal people. I have slightly heavy legs, even when I loose weight. And for some odd reason he gets all weird about it.

I will tell you all that he has big solid legs of his own. He lifts weights and looks great. But if he is standing with a group of men all in shorts, he has the heaviest legs. I sometimes think he is projecting that self-loathing onto me.

Oddly, when we were leaving Tampa I had a huge yard sale and he went into my closet and brought out all my dresses and hung them on the sale rack. This was around the time he had decided to leave me the first time, them begged me to take him back.

I should have realized then that that sort of action requires therapy. Anyway, I shy away from dresses and skirts due to his weirdness. I did buy 4 dresses this year and have started wearing them. I have decided I am what I am and what you see s what you get.

HOWEVER, I am grumpy as heck. SOMEONE ate all the ice cream. That is so mean. I have been wanting something all day, finally went to the freezer, and GONE, BABY, GONE.....

My H also brought up with me that I said I would have the whole house staged and ready to go on the market by the time he got back from DC. I bit my tounge and didn't say that he told me he wasn't seeing OW on his trip, too.

Guess we are both big fat liars!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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Hi Wendy. Just wondering ... did you say you would have the house ready to be staged, or did he tell you to have it staged, and somehow it's been twisted?

It seems to be his MO ... leaving you with all the work, while he goes off somewhere.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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PS I like the Operation Feral Cat idea. I also put the bowl out every night. So far, nothing solid yet.


Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
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