A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out. Go to the new Divorce Busting® Store where you can sign up for Divorce Busting® Coaching and purchase Michele's Audios, Videos and eBooks that you can immediately download. Start taking the steps that will help you get your marriage back on track right away.
Page 3 of 13 < 1 2 3 4 5 ... 12 13 >
Topic Options
#2231411 - 03/17/12 02:38 PM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: keep_going]
breakdownbill Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/12
Posts: 434
Loc: Liverpool, England
Hi BK just read your sitch and can really relate to what you are going through. I'm still learning, so I won't give you any bad advice, but what I would say is that a lot of the people on here do give really good advice and do really care.
I'm sorry to hear about your cat :-( & hope you find him.

Take care of yourself & good luck with C

Bill
_________________________
Me 34 W 32
D 9 S 6
M: 9 years
T: 12
Bomb: 02/11/12
EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing
Moved out: Oct 2012
Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13

Don't just GAL, find yourself and be happy

Top
#2231417 - 03/17/12 03:19 PM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: breakdownbill]
purgatory Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
Hope you find the kitty. I guess even the animal kingdom has WAS.... Maybe he just needed some space to think- lol

Hope counseling session goes well- fingers crossed for you guys to find some solutions to your recent custody issues.

Totally understand not having time to post... Just come back when you can, always love to hear your perspectives!
_________________________
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

Top
#2231422 - 03/17/12 04:16 PM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: keep_going]
ces67 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 1024
((BM)) Hope the C goes better than expected and glad you've got work to keep you busy. Just know we're thinking of you!
_________________________
Me:45, W:44
S:15, D:12
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
2 attempts at MC-stopped 09/13
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms

Top
#2231444 - 03/17/12 07:26 PM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: ces67]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
BB - hope the cat isn't in some sort of MLC, or part of a gourmet chinese meal somewhere...

Hope the counseling went well. Understand you have no time to post a lot you...we are all still here for you whenever you need u

Top
#2231445 - 03/17/12 07:26 PM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: rickb89]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
us

Top
#2231500 - 03/18/12 02:23 AM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: rickb89]
Rick1963 Online
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2544
Loc: Piney Land
Rickb hope barely doesn't get pissed about the cat and Asian cooking.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






Top
#2231578 - 03/18/12 06:18 PM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: Rick1963]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
That's all I need... to pisss off a woman carrying catheters and suppositories the size of goose eggs

Top
#2231650 - 03/19/12 01:54 AM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: rickb89]
BklynMom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/29/11
Posts: 1819
Our cat Clarence is back home. The block cat lady, ironicly named Kitty, "rescued" Clarence from some menacing youth on Thursday afternoon. She kept Clarence in her house with her other cats. After I hung up "Missing Cat" signs the leads to the cat lady came flooding in. Now the cat is back;)

H & I went to a C Saturday morning to discuss custody of our girls and whether we should set up a schedule or not. He thinks we should play it by ear since our jobs are so erratic that its unrealistic to have a set schedule for the year.

I start to tune out and shut down during these meetings because I find the whole thing so painful. I am not allowed to yell or be mad or say this is not what I want per DB so I just try to stop listening. I know that is not the right behavior either but do prefer Friday night pick ups to Saturday morning is just a question I cant bare.

I think my tuning out is a bit passive aggressive but I dont know how to handle it. If I tell H I like plan ABC vs XYZ he thinks I am signing off on our separation. I do not want to sign off on this. I can be silent but I can not say this is okay.

The session does ultimitely make me feel better cause the C definitely says things to H that I need him to hear. This week when I was mentioning that through Alanon I have learned how controlling I am and that I think H to a certain degree wanted to be controlled, she asked him "Who was controlling growing up, your mom or your dad?" H couldnt answer. He looked at me to give him an answer. Kind of strange I thought, since its pretty obvious to anyone that he has a controlling father.

H mentioned to C that we were getting a D. I hate it when he uses that word.

Tonight when he was over he said regarding our relationship "where we are now" which I see as so much more positive. But I cant delude myself.

Unto some terrible news. Our neighbors, literally right next door, we share a wall have to kids about the same age as our girls. The girl is 4 and the boy is 18 months. We hang out with them all the time. I have been super busy for two weeks or so and havent been around. I find out this morning that 2 weeks ago they found a brain tumor in the little boys head. They have since operated and removed 90-95% of the tumor. He starts chemo tomorrow.

Say a prayer for him.

Lets all count our blessings.
_________________________
----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13


Top
#2231664 - 03/19/12 03:30 AM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: BklynMom]
ces67 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 1024
Sorry the weekend was rough BM.

What did your C say when your H mentioned the D? Did the C offer any thoughts on how to handle custody?

Hate to hear that about your neighbor's little boy. Praying for him and the doctors. If they want additional consultations for their son, they may want to have their doctors check with St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Brain tumors are an area of study for them and they are constantly publishing new findings and treatments. They also treat and share all information at no charge.

My kids got home tonight and it was great just to hug them after not seeing them for a week.

(((BM)))
_________________________
Me:45, W:44
S:15, D:12
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
2 attempts at MC-stopped 09/13
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms

Top
#2231665 - 03/19/12 03:39 AM Re: Brooklyn Babe [Re: ces67]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
BB - glad about Clarence. That's so awful about your neighbor. When you have your health, every day is a gift huh? Hard to remember that with a broken heart though.

I don't think you can go against your core principles about how you both should handle your kids regardless of what the DB coach says.

(((BB))) Despite how busy you are we are all still out here thinking of you all the time.

Top
Page 3 of 13 < 1 2 3 4 5 ... 12 13 >


Moderator:  dbmod, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004