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#2235950 - 04/06/12 12:20 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Starsky309 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 3811
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Autumn Leaves


On a fun note, since I won't be with the boys on Easter I have decided to take them to the Phillies home opener on Monday. I got 3 standing room only tickets and we will go early to enjoy all of the festivities. I just told them and they are so excited smile So am I!!


omg, WHAT A MOM!!!!!! whistle whistle grin
_________________________
At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

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#2235951 - 04/06/12 12:26 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Starsky309]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
Thanks!! My youngest and I are actually Yankees fans but since we live in Phillies country they are a close second smile not to mention NL not AL. My oldest is a huge Phillies fan and was beside himself when I told him.
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2235960 - 04/06/12 01:40 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Autumn Leaves]
mindfull Offline
Member

Registered: 11/27/08
Posts: 3975
Autumn...

I have an idea.
_________________________
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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#2235962 - 04/06/12 01:46 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Starsky309 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 3811
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Autumn Leaves
Thanks!! My youngest and I are actually Yankees fans



Me 2! Price I paid for marrying a Jersey girl, I guess. whistle


Starsky
_________________________
At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

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#2235963 - 04/06/12 01:46 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: mindfull]
mindfull Offline
Member

Registered: 11/27/08
Posts: 3975
(Remember, this is where I excel! )

Check w/your attorney first, but...

Why don't you just tell him...

"H, you obviously know that this isn't working. At this point, there is little to no chance of me moving past this trust issue. I plan on filing for divorce soon. We can't both live in this house anymore. We talked about this before, and you agreed that I should stay in our home w/the boys. I need you to find other living arrangements immediately. I understand that you have probably been counseled to stay in our home (abandonment), but I will not hold it against you. I will work w/you fairly on all financial and child visitation/support issues. Our being in the same house is just too stressful for everyone."

I think he needs to know that you are DONE. I think he needs to know that you will not keep his boys from him. I think he needs to know that you will be reasonable.

But, he also needs to know, that you are working in the best interest of you and your boys. FIRST
_________________________
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Top
#2235965 - 04/06/12 01:53 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: mindfull]
Starsky309 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 3811
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: mindfull
(Remember, this is where I excel! )

Check w/your attorney first, but...

Why don't you just tell him...

"H, you obviously know that this isn't working. At this point, there is little to no chance of me moving past this trust issue. I plan on filing for divorce soon. We can't both live in this house anymore. We talked about this before, and you agreed that I should stay in our home w/the boys. I need you to find other living arrangements immediately. I understand that you have probably been counseled to stay in our home (abandonment), but I will not hold it against you. I will work w/you fairly on all financial and child visitation/support issues. Our being in the same house is just too stressful for everyone."

I think he needs to know that you are DONE. I think he needs to know that you will not keep his boys from him. I think he needs to know that you will be reasonable.

But, he also needs to know, that you are working in the best interest of you and your boys. FIRST



I really like this approach. I think Autumn could even be willing to put in writing the "won't hold it against him" part, and should offer to do so.

ONLY thing I would change, is that I would add on to the end " . . . especially the boys," thusly:

Quote:
I will work w/you fairly on all financial and child visitation/support issues. Our being in the same house is just too stressful for everyone, especially the boys."
_________________________
At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

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#2235967 - 04/06/12 01:53 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: mindfull]
finding nemo Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 81
Yankees fan here, too! But going to the home opener will be lots of fun. Who are they playing?
_________________________
Me: 42 H: 44
M: 17 1/2 T: 19 1/2
S: 14
D: 10
D: 8
Dog: 16-17 (very old & H's responsibility, live w/ me)
1st Bomb (I need space): 2/3/12
2nd Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 2/11/12
Moved out: 2/12/12

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#2235978 - 04/06/12 03:13 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: finding nemo]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
I really like this approach too, you really do excel at this MH.
I especially like the idea of putting it into writing, because that will go a long way with him.

I am very done with this marriage and know that I will proceed with a divorce. The issues we have are many and some are serious deal breakers for me. I have my doubts that all of them can/will be dealt with. For his sake I hope some day he does.

I feel good about my decision and know that it is right for me and for the boys. Feeling even stronger than yesterday. A little nervous for the conversation but know I will handle the best that I can.

Nemo they are playing the Miami Marlins on Monday smile
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2235981 - 04/06/12 03:26 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
Will have to pick my time appropriately, just got a text from H saying "Congrats on the tickets, hope you guys have fun"
Sadly I know that it was a dig and a poor me. I ignored it, which will irritate him further but I don't want to open that dialogue either.
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2235990 - 04/06/12 04:01 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Autumn Leaves]
mindfull Offline
Member

Registered: 11/27/08
Posts: 3975
Autumn -

I just have some experience to show you how to shortcut some legal costs!

And, I have a similar personality type that I had to deal with... It's funny... He fought everything. Lost on everything. Blew up like a damn baby in front of the Judge, etc... He was completely at my mercy at one point... I called him (after only speaking in txt and/or email for over a year), and offered to meet him someplace neutral to hash it out between us, w/out the lawyers.

Can I tell you? We ended up at about the same place that the Judge ruled. DUMB!

I think it was all in the approach. He didn't feel like he was being TOLD or ORDERED to do something. I knew I'd already won, so... I just asked him what he thought was fair in each of the items... Now, whenever I request something, he rarely puts up a fight about anything (except our darn marital home!). He agrees w/almost everything, and... asks me "almost" for permission on a lot of boys things. It's weird.

DUMB DUMB DUMB
_________________________
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Top
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