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#2238257 - 04/16/12 04:08 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Starsky309]
~ kd ~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 4866
Loc: Canoe'k-land
Originally Posted By: Starsky309
I do think maybe this is "just you," Kaffe -- maybe your own triggers at work here?


Yup... that is certainly possible... smile

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#2238262 - 04/16/12 04:15 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Starsky309]
mindfull Offline
Member

Registered: 11/28/08
Posts: 3975
Kaffee -

Oh, come on.

Now, I will butt your head...

NO one has said... "Hey, AL, come on... threaten that MF'er w/Divorce. That'll learn him! He'll come crying home..."

Autumn needs to prepare for divorce.

She's communicated that she is much more worthy than some multiple time cheating H.

She's communicated that she is much more worthy than some H who, at the very least, uses illegal drugs, and drinks too much (a lot).

She's also shown that she loves him, but can't be married to a man like this.

I'd be the first to applaud, and even fly out to hug the jerk if he turned this around...

But, chances are, he just will not.

And, in the meantime, THOSE OF US THAT HAVE TURNED OUR SITUATIONS AROUND FOR OURSELVES AND/OR OUR MARRIAGES, are offering advice of what WORKS.

I have a pet peeve.

And, I'll air it.

These boards are a great resource for a fan club.

The minute the fan club becomes a "reach out and help desk" and they, themselves, haven't turned around their own life... And, gotten out of limbo... I'm less than impressed.

DB has COACHES that can offer (fairly) learned advice.
The DB board has veterans that have turned their own lives around w/and without their marriages.
The DB board does NOT need a bunch of limbo wading members offering advice...

Cheering and supporting is great.
_________________________
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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#2238263 - 04/16/12 04:18 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: mindfull]
mindfull Offline
Member

Registered: 11/28/08
Posts: 3975
Autumn -

Carry on w/what you feel is your plan. smile

The background noise can get distracting.
_________________________
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Top
#2238264 - 04/16/12 04:20 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: mindfull]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
I am not by any stretch using this as a tactic, that much I am very sure of. When H had his first A back in 1998 (ongoing for a year and half) I filed, we were a signature from D and reconciled. Sadly we didn't get the MC that was appropriate because the behaviors returned (both mine and his). Since that time, H has also added some very destructive and illegal behaviors that he has no intention of giving up, he has told me that.
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2238268 - 04/16/12 04:36 PM Re: Moving Right along Part 2 [Re: Autumn Leaves]
~ kd ~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/20/11
Posts: 4866
Loc: Canoe'k-land
I know what the trigger Starsky suggested above, is for me.

I want NO ONE to encourage me to D... regardless of the reasons...

EVER...

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