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ces - thanks. i know that a lot can be forgiven.. sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else.

one thing i have tried really hard to do during this whole ordeal was to not be vindictive. i have not said anything negative about H in front of the kids (the same can not be said in front of others lol)... and it has never been my intention to keep the kids away from him. i know how much he loves them. i know how much they love him. my priority has always.. ALWAYS.. been their well being. in standing for my M.. it is with the belief that it is in the best interest of my babies.

but with that understanding.. i know that i am only able to control my own choices. and i will make mine as the choices are presented to me.

i feel happy today. the sun is flooding through my kitchen window. my kids are jumping up and down on the couch.. life isn't perfect but is it ever? today i have beautiful sunshine.. 2 healthy (albeit naughty) kids.. supportive friends and family.. and a case of diet pepsi! today could be a little more perfect if my scale was reading minus 5-10 lbs. smile

retrouvaille next week. yikes! maybe i should become superstitious and not change my socks or something like that.. nah! maybe not!


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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change your underwear!

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Go into that weekend with beginner's mind. No expectations but also no baggage from the past, if you can.

I think no matter what the outcome it will be a valuable experience.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Hoping the best for you for your Retrouvaille weekend. I had looked into it for my sitch, but my H wants nothing to do w/ R or talks about R.

Really looking forward to hearing your impressions of the weekend when you return.

Good luck!

(And please change your underwear!!!)


Me: 42 H: 44
M: 17 1/2 T: 19 1/2
S: 14
D: 10
D: 8
Dog: 16-17 (very old & H's responsibility, live w/ me)
1st Bomb (I need space): 2/3/12
2nd Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 2/11/12
Moved out: 2/12/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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Barely, are you a libra? I am. I saw your refernce on CES's thread. Indecision has always been one of h's peeves. Never wanted to give me too many options.

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That sounds like some fantastic stuff to be thankful for (althought I'll just trust you on the diet pepsi thing...)

I'm an early bird and driving into work this morning, the moon was HUGE, full and orange. It was a beautiful site to start the day. Yesterday's clouds have cleared off and now its blue sky as far as they eye can see.

Its also a great sign of strength that you can honor your H in front of the kids. That says a great deal for your character.

No idea how you should prep for the weekend but as you said before, there are people who are focused on making it a great weekend for you and praying for wonderful things to happen as a result. Enjoy the weekend coming up and try not to get anxious about it as the time approaches.

As as far as the other topics recently discussed, I've made a conscious choice in my sitch not to speak of other women's underwear so I'll just leave that to the rest of you to decide!! : )


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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I agree with bugsy! Go with a beginner's mind! Regardless of the outcome, I'm sure you'll learn many valuable lessons next weekend!


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


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Open heart and an open mind...let these Retro people help you...let god help you...let our prayers help you. Let it all in. I know you will.

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lol! i deliberately said socks! if anything.. i was thinking.. better leave the granny panties at home! uh.. not that i have granny panties..

HIW.. yes i am a libra. completely indecisive when it comes to little things. hmmm.. do i want fries.. or salad.. or fries.. or salad.. and once the choice is made, i wonder whether i should have chosen the other. can you imagine how completely crazy that drove me when H would continually look towards me to make decisions?

i don't think i can do anything to prep for retrouvaille. i just have to be willing to go in with and be open to the process. i've also read that i should not focus on how H is being affected. whether or not he gets anything out of it.. isn't really within my control. if not.. i can see myself learning a lot to take w/ me forward.

what's on the menu for this weekend. hmmmmmm.. gf coming over to hang out again tonight. tomorrow morning will take the kids to a bday party at Chuck E Cheese 930 in the morning! yikes! then i have a free evening. think i should go to mass sunday morning for easter. maybe at the cathedral downtown. then.. work. hope the ghost has left by then. did i mention that previously? there was a ghost on my last night shift??


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 81
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Maybe the ghost is part of a new GAL you're supposed to be doing? Barely Floating - Ghost Hunter! lol


Me: 42 H: 44
M: 17 1/2 T: 19 1/2
S: 14
D: 10
D: 8
Dog: 16-17 (very old & H's responsibility, live w/ me)
1st Bomb (I need space): 2/3/12
2nd Bomb (ILYBNILWY): 2/11/12
Moved out: 2/12/12
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