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I have just caught up on reading your posts. I feel for you bro and can relate in part to how you've contributed to your M woes over the years without knowing what you've done. My W and I have no kids either and I have made many mistakes in our M.
But I totally agree with LAbug that you can let yourself only take half the blame. We all bring our own crap to the M and your W doesn't sound like she has been prepared to take her share of the responsibility for what went wrong. It is likely so much easier for her to just blame you.
Hang in there, I can see from your threads that a ton of people here care about you and are along for the ride with you.
I just wanted you to know that while I don't know your demons that you brought to your M before I still think I get where your coming from. Hope that makes sense.
M: 48 W:49 M:16 T:19 No kids Distancing last 18 months I have no feelings for you (we should separate): Feb 24/12 Me voluntarily moving out: Apr 1/12 (Fool's Day!)
Still feel like crap this morning. In many ways I feel I am back to week one and its killing me. All I can do at this point is visit my lawyer and get my war face on. Last thing I wanted to do.I honestly thought there was a pretty good chance this was not going to happen. Her relative silence over the past several weeks was not reflection, but rather planning and filing. Feel like a total shmuck for pouring my heart out and sharing my feelings over the past weeks. Again, there are two sides to the story and I know I hurt her over the past year, however, I do not think she understands how much I was hurting too. At one point I actually discussed leaving my wife with work colleagues during this past summer. Its been a long strange road that is nearing its end. I wish she knew how much I was hurt too and how much I still care about her.
(this probably isn't the best time to say this, but I need to put it out there) I hear you keep replaying your past actions and wishing you wouldn't have done certai things- don't drive yourself crazy with these thoughts, it only causes mo...re heartache We all need to focus on the here-and-now and how to make the best choices that give us the best options for our futures. I have become emotionally invested in all of y'all- I truly care about your well being and happiness.... Only want the best for you
^^^smart friend told me this today. I keep beating myself up and that was good in helping me figure out my role in the demise of my M. It was also helpful in addressing the things I disliked about myself. What will be will be no matter what...
She has no reason to trust me right now. I understand where she is coming from honestly. No matter what I so or do, she cannot see into my heart and appreciate the man I have become and continue to become. I appreciate the kind words of support. This D will happen. Not sure if it's the final chapter in our story though.