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Joined: Mar 2012
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Had a DB meltdown. I guess I shouldn't have accepted that glass of wine from my neighbor. Maybe the Laura Munson book did give me too much hope. H signed the lease today, starting next weekend. I lost it with him on the phone, started crying. Told him I would see him in court, and they were my kids not his. I don't think I am as strong as some of you, making it all this time and staying calm. I am crying and feeling sad and sorry for myself. I just want to give up.


M 37, H 37
M 10, T 12
S 4
D 2
3/14/12 ILYBNILWY
4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing
4/26/12 H moves to his new place

I do not want to have regrets
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Ok, feeling a little more stable at the moment. Re-read all the advice posts from everyone a few times. Thanks again for those. My best friend of 25 years is here, I also called her that night when I was so upset and she flew here. We are going to go shopping today, looking for things to make the house pretty, we just moved in last October and hadn't really even gotten settled. With H moving out next week I want to make it as cozy and welcoming as possible for the kids and I.
H is talking with the kids but ignoring me, but I am showing no reaction.

Hope everyone has a great weekend


M 37, H 37
M 10, T 12
S 4
D 2
3/14/12 ILYBNILWY
4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing
4/26/12 H moves to his new place

I do not want to have regrets
Joined: Nov 2011
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I'm glad your friend is there with you, that will help to have the added support. Making some changes around the house will be good too. I did the same thing and so glad I did. Hang in there!!


-Autumn

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Thanks Autumn:) Have a great weekend!


M 37, H 37
M 10, T 12
S 4
D 2
3/14/12 ILYBNILWY
4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing
4/26/12 H moves to his new place

I do not want to have regrets
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 96
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OP Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 96
Thanks Autumn:) Have a great weekend!


M 37, H 37
M 10, T 12
S 4
D 2
3/14/12 ILYBNILWY
4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing
4/26/12 H moves to his new place

I do not want to have regrets
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 96
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Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 96

Journaling:

Having so much anxiety today, trying to keep reminding myself to breathe. In, out, in, out. Meeting with MC for 2 hours to have some coaching on how to tell our children my husband is moving this weekend. After that I am meeting with a lawyer to find out my rights, my best friend is going with me. He has filed nothing and I plan to file nothing but it still seems surreal to be having this day. 5 weeks ago I would have told you never in a million years......


M 37, H 37
M 10, T 12
S 4
D 2
3/14/12 ILYBNILWY
4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing
4/26/12 H moves to his new place

I do not want to have regrets
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 96
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Member
OP Offline
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 96


We had our session with our MC to go over telling the kids H is moving out. She actually suggested that he do a staggered move, so they can digest it in little bits. H and I were both receptive to the idea, we are going to be alternating nights spending time with them but both being "around". Then he wants to drive to his place when they go to sleep. All in all it went well, but H said at one point that he felt I was being "controlling" during this process. I resisted the urge to get angry and say "Seriously, you are leaving your family when you still have a child in diapers and I am controlling???" But I took a deep breath and asked the MC if she saw it that way, she said that she sees me feeling like I have no control. Anybody have any thoughts on this?

Appt with the lawyer went well, she just gave me lots of info. I let her know that I didn't want to file, just to to gather info.

When I got home I watched H out the window for awhile interacting with the kids, and he actually seems happier than he has in a long time. This confuses me.....


M 37, H 37
M 10, T 12
S 4
D 2
3/14/12 ILYBNILWY
4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing
4/26/12 H moves to his new place

I do not want to have regrets
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 157
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Posts: 157
Thanks for the tip on Paul Hegstrom. Watched his Symptoms video on YouTube and I think my husbands issue are somewhat explained by this. My husbands estranged father died this fall and he changed after. I know there is a connection between him suddenly becoming a WAS and the death. The video talks about some addictions as being an escape from adulthood. My husband was watching online porn a lot in the past months leading up to our seperation. I think this was his escape.


Me-32
H-31
M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs
No kids, 3 pets
H estranged father passes away- 8/11
Bomb- 1/15/12
Began LRT- 4/1/12
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 157
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Posts: 157
Wish I had found this post earlier. I keep trying to think the way you are Nemo- but I am lonely and lots of time for bad thoughts to creep in. I asked my husband to leave completely 2.5 weeks ago and haven't seen him since. He is living with his mother but I keep wondering if he is really there each night, especially on weekends.


Me-32
H-31
M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs
No kids, 3 pets
H estranged father passes away- 8/11
Bomb- 1/15/12
Began LRT- 4/1/12
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 157
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 157
This also seems to be the script my husband used- but he is only 30. Can one have a MLC at 30? Though he is not in his midlife I think his fathers estrangement forced him to be the "man of the house" at a younger age- so could he be only 30 but mentally thinking he's older because he had to be responsible for more at a young age?


Me-32
H-31
M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs
No kids, 3 pets
H estranged father passes away- 8/11
Bomb- 1/15/12
Began LRT- 4/1/12
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