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#2229137 03/09/12 03:08 PM
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ces67 Offline OP
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Here's the link to my last thread. Starting thread #4 now.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2225599#Post2225599

Family leaves for spring break vacation to see family & friends today. It may be mind-reading but it appears W made these plans last minute to make sure I did not go with them.

I gave the kids big hugs last night since I leave for work before they get up. W is picking them up from school to leave for the week.

I left the kids notes for them to see this morning telling them to have fun and that I loved them. Always try and draw funny pictures each time I do this as well (the funny part being that I'm a lousy artist I suppose).

Also left a note for my W. Since today is the date of her mom's death 26 years ago, I wanted to at least let her know that I remembered and was thinking of her.

I can't remember exactly what I wrote but it was along the lines of thinking of her especially over the next few days. Was glad she was able to get away and enjoy herself. Acknowledged the terrible loss she experienced to lose her mom at 16.

Also told her that despite what is going on between us, she is a fantastic mom and I fully believe her mom would be very proud of her.

Threw caution to the wind and signed it "love, [me].."

No expectations with this note, just acknowledging the sadness she is feeling this weekend.

As far as the title (in case anyone is wondering)... I've reading through "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Lots of insight to my own behaviors so I am working to kill off the negative elements of a nice guy in my life and live in a way that is far more vibrant.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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"As far as the title (in case anyone is wondering)... I've reading through "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Lots of insight to my own behaviors so I am working to kill off the negative elements of a nice guy in my life and live in a way that is far more vibrant."

Thanks for the clarification, Mr Nice Guy. I was getting a little worried. The title of your new thread was a little ominous.

BTW, I like that last part, "live in a way that is far more vibrant."

Go get em, tiger!


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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ces67 Offline OP
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Yeah, I guess a title like that does require some clarification. Its a good thing in my opinion.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 524
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Great book. Helped me a bunch too.


Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.
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ces67 Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
Great book. Helped me a bunch too.


So when to I get to the point where I'm beating up drunks in the evening?? grin


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 328
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Originally Posted By: ces67
Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
Great book. Helped me a bunch too.


So when to I get to the point where I'm beating up drunks in the evening?? grin


Well it's Friday so tonight may be a good start. laugh


M 44 W 43
S 23 S 15
INILWY 9/11
Divorce Mediation started 3/13
June 30 the day W is moving out
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or killing hobos?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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La I still don't what killing hobos is? Gonna have to ask.

Ces I have not read the book but was told that there is a an explanation of how a nice guy is actually passive/aggressive. I guess there is conflict/avoidant aspect to being a nice guy. Guess I am going to order it. Keep up the good work buddy


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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63, ask Grmpy, it's his term. I don't understand it either.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,030
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ces67 Offline OP
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So here's some proof that I need to do better at GAL...

Family left today. This begins Spring Break in my area. All my friends are married people and are either gone or soon to be gone.

I really have nothing to do tonight and not sure who I would call to do anything. The first night of my family leaving is always the worst. The house is just too quiet and I'm not sure what to do with myself.

I've got a few things lined up for tomorrow, errands and maybe an afternoon road trip if I feel like spending the money on gas.

Tonight may be my guy movie night. Also, I can make a list of things to do this week to keep me busy. Any suggestions???


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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