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#2216447 - 01/27/12 10:21 PM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: TRUSTING]
Queen_of_Swords Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 1307
Loc: Canada
I'm thinking about doing something similar. Having the house blessed. Burning incense, or something else significant. Planting something over something I've buried.
I just have to think about what would have meaning for me. Maybe the thinking about it is enough.
_________________________
BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.

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#2216580 - 01/28/12 06:49 AM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: Queen_of_Swords]
AntoniaB Offline
Member

Registered: 06/11/10
Posts: 1400
I think some rituals are good as far as what you're talking about here...I had a friend come and do a "cleanse" of the house; she had gone to a wiccan store and got sage and burned it, and she walked through every room and said a little prayer. We also had a fire outside and she had me write down things I wanted to banish from the house and things I wanted to bring in to the house, and we read them out loud and burned the list. She isn't actually a wiccan; she's like a mixture of new agey-Christian :-) But we sort of made our own rituals.

I will tell you that as nice as it was to have my friend "cleanse" the house that it didn't "work" to change things entirely. In some ways I think I had her cleanse it prematurely, and my sense of things really shifting came later. But I don't regret that she did it. As far as I'm concerned, I regularly light incense or candles in my house and pray, or do tarot cards, or whatever, and every time I'm really feeling pulled back into the past I notice I tend to do these sort of rituals again. They calm me, and they make me feel like I'm actively trying to move forward. I think doing them repeatedly makes me feel progress.

There are many things you can do, from the candles to incense to reading little essays out loud, or writing down a list of affirmations, reading them aloud, putting them under your pillow; or conversely, writing a list of things you want to let go of and then burning them after reading them.

I think all of this is really important, whatever you choose, becuase it helps you to concretize what's inside you--if you turn what is inside into a visual memory it will become stronger in your mind. Then you can recall those moments when you are in pain later.
_________________________
M45
Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11
Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy
"Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying

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#2216731 - 01/28/12 07:24 PM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: AntoniaB]
Queen_of_Swords Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 1307
Loc: Canada
Quote:
I think all of this is really important, whatever you choose, becuase it helps you to concretize what's inside you--if you turn what is inside into a visual memory it will become stronger in your mind. Then you can recall those moments when you are in pain later


That's a really good point Antonia.
I think I'll hit the shops for some incense and write a eulogy of sorts, and burn it along with a photo of the two of us and maybe a copy of my marriage certificate.

Thanks for that input! Hugs to you and your kitties.
_________________________
BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.

Top
#2223049 - 02/17/12 08:34 PM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: Queen_of_Swords]
Queen_of_Swords Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 1307
Loc: Canada
I have nothing really new to report.
I won't bore you with what has happened, it's pretty much irrelevant anyway. Another anniversary has passed, still married, but very alone.
I live, I breathe, I work, I take care of the kids and myself.
He who shall not be named here is as confused, lost, scared and indecisive as ever.Nothing I can do about that.
I take things as they come, and roll with most of it.
My expectations of life and of others are pretty low when it comes to anything these days.
When I have to interact with He who shall not be named, it's matter of fact, unemotional, and brief.
There is nothing left to say to him. I have told him I can no longer play along with him that everything is "ok" between us. It's not, and I can't talk to him in superficial, social chatter anymore.

My love for him has changed. I care for his general well being, wish him health and happiness, but in may ways, what love I had for him has died.
I'm not the same person I was. I now realize I asked for very little out of my marriage and relationship, and that's exactly what I got...little.
I want more than what I had.
_________________________
BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.

Top
#2223058 - 02/17/12 08:51 PM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: Queen_of_Swords]
WenikiTiki Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/11
Posts: 1078
Loc: Hawaii
Hi Queen!

Wow did your last post hit with me. I can feel my love fading for my H. Sadly.

I agree with wanting more than you had.

I was reading the part where it was suggested to write out what you want to let go of then burn it. I will highly suggest to use crayons to write with. It makes a better visual, and then the wax in the crayons really gives it a nice flame!

Burn it in the BBQ or a metal sink. Less chance to burn the house down by accident. I'm just sayin'!
_________________________
Me 54 XH 55 Sons age 29 & 24 M:32 T:33
D final 9/12
Sold the house, Progress is being made!

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#2233123 - 03/25/12 03:30 AM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: WenikiTiki]
Queen_of_Swords Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 1307
Loc: Canada
Update:
Well it's now 30 months since bomb drop.
Nothing new to report really.
I've thrown a few truth darts that have got him thinking, but overall his behavior is much the same. The routine is the same, I'm just a day older, and a day closer to being totally fed up with the whole situation and walking away myself.
I think X is sensing that, and he's texting more lately.
Our MLC'ers have their heads up their derrieres so far they can see their own tonsils!
_________________________
BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.

Top
#2234523 - 03/31/12 05:38 AM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: Queen_of_Swords]
Queen_of_Swords Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 1307
Loc: Canada
Please close this thread.
As this drags on and on, the situation is losing interest. Even to me.
_________________________
BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.

Top
#2234527 - 03/31/12 05:56 AM Re: Approaching the Treeline, Muskeg no longer [Re: Queen_of_Swords]
WenikiTiki Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/11
Posts: 1078
Loc: Hawaii
Sorry to hear that. I'm still with you on that too. Losing intrest. Planning a whole new future.

Looked out the window today and saw H working on his projects to sell the house so he can be with OW. I wasn't annoyed, just kinda thinking "Whatever...."

You sound like an interesting person. I'm sure you have a fun life started up!
_________________________
Me 54 XH 55 Sons age 29 & 24 M:32 T:33
D final 9/12
Sold the house, Progress is being made!

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