Ahh, youth baseball. BTDT; this Spring is, in fact, sadly the first season that I WON'T be coaching one of my sons' baseball teams in about 9 years.
The latest-and-greatest bats have been quite expensive; we had good luck online (Just Bats is a great site), and locally both Sports Authority and Dick's has good sales from time to time. Our best success was either online or getting a slightly used GOOD one from Play-It-Again Sports, if you have one of those near you. Have fun shopping with him! Get him some new batting gloves, in a color combination that will match his team's uniform. Teenaged boys dig new batting gloves, and they're CHEAP compared to bats!!
I agree you sound like you did a great job handling yourself.
So my only add is, while you remain distant because it is necessary for you AND your H, observe for physically destructive, depression behaviours...
If he crashes... if he is going to emotionally crash... it might be good/healthy for him... so long as he doesn't actually hurt himself in the process...
You don't need to get caught up and be all co-D, just for the sake of your kids, in case...
Great suggestions Starsky, thanks. I am prepared for the bat, I remember from last time that it was the most expensive item. We used to have a Play it again sports, but they aren't there anymore sadly.
I will definitely get him the batting gloves too. He is all about matching and has to match his sneakers to his hat. He is also all about accessories and loves to wear shooter sleeves when playing basketball. He swears it is a joke, but I am not so sure
I agree you sound like you did a great job handling yourself.
So my only add is, while you remain distant because it is necessary for you AND your H, observe for physically destructive, depression behaviours...
If he crashes... if he is going to emotionally crash... it might be good/healthy for him... so long as he doesn't actually hurt himself in the process...
You don't need to get caught up and be all co-D, just for the sake of your kids, in case...
KWIM?
Thanks KD, I do know exactly where you are coming from. He is not on any AD. In fact, he is self medicating and was quite drunk last night while crying, although he remembered everything this morning.
I was slightly concerned for his safety at one point last night. I was in the house and heard a loud bang out back, but it turns out it was just the door slamming too hard. I wasn't sure what it was and went to check on him.
I agree, making sure things are safe for the kids is my top priority.
I will definitely get him the batting gloves too. He is all about matching and has to match his sneakers to his hat.
I had to smile at this. Every winter, my S16 plays flag football, and I coach him. It's only flag, and to save $$$ we usually just have him continue to wear whatever cleats he used for Fall baseball, rather than buy him football-specific cleats.
Well, this Fall, we got him some pretty cool-looking baseball cleats that he had THOUGHT were blue-and-black, but turned out to actually be PURPLE-and-black. So when we went to our flag football draft (where we pick team names from a pre-approved uniform vendor list), he said "Dad, if they do pro teams this year, get the Ravens. And if they do college, get TCU."
Because both have purple-and-black color schemes.
Our team never won a game, but S16 sure looked pretty spiffy in his color-coordinated jersey and cleats!!!
Last night S17 had an event at school and we both went. It was great to be supportive of S and he was looking for us in the crowds. He did great.
When we were leaving S15 asked if we could get pizza so I said "sure we will order one" and H suggested stopping on the way. S15 was excited so I agreed. S15 was animated and happy, telling stories, etc.
When we left H said to me privately "that was nice" and I said "I couldn't disappoint S and this doesn't change anything" He got hurt and a disagreement began, with him telling me where I was wrong, its not just him, etc.
When we woke up he said "As far as I am concerned, it was a good night and I enjoyed it. Lets end it at that and forget the disagreement. I don't want to complicate things"
I replied "well we certainly can't simplify them"
He was telling me about his IC appt and some of the things he brought in, which surprised me a bit. He also said "I don't know where your head is but when you are ready I am ready for MC" He said "I will keep saying it until you tell me you are ready"
Today he went away with his buddy and they will be back sometime tomorrow. I have been enjoying the day and evening with the kids. I only heard from him twice and he has stopped texting/calling.
He said "I heard you when you said you need space and I think I need some peace as well"
It doesn't seem like he will be moving out based on some of the things he has been saying. His IC is weekly and I will continue my journey as well. I have support group tomorrow and IC next week.
Whoever said this is a marathon sure wasn't joking.
Well my goal was to remain dark while he was away this weekend and really enjoy my time alone. For the most part I did, and the kids were wonderful. We had some fun times together.
But my next door neighbor, who doesn't know the sitch, thought it would be funny to text H last night telling him there was a party at my house.
So not knowing this, H was texting me into all hours of the night "what are you doing" or "why aren't you responding to me"
I had no idea what they were about and went to sleep. This morning I got "are you ok" so I finally responded and found out what the neighbor said.
H also sent me a private message through FB saying "I love you and miss you" last night. That was a hot button for me because that was how he was communicating with OW. It made me wonder if other messages were going out along with mine last night. I don't like that feeling at all and need to shake it.
H is on his way home now, and I am leaving for my support group picnic. A fun day in the park. Kids are headed to the gym and then baseball practice. I'm a little nervous about coming home tonight and what the tone will be but I will be ok, no matter what.
I suspect the tone will still be "St. Autumn's Hubby" for a few more tries, but I think he's going to be nearing the end of his patience with that before he tries a dramatically different tack.
