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#2233834 - 03/27/12 10:17 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Rick1963]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Sound's good. no divorce cuz ya gotta go to Vegas!

Thanks y'all.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2233840 - 03/27/12 10:32 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 754
i'll bring my camera. you want to borrow my wedding dress?? really have no use for it anymore. lol.
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2233852 - 03/27/12 11:39 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: barely floating]
purgatory Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
I'll bring my dress too!! Barely- maybe we can wear them once more and get pity drinks for being left at the alter!! What else are you supposed to do with a $2000 dress that was only worn once?! Not like you can 'dress it down' for a night out....

Rick1963- just tell them you have a canoe emergency in Vegas!! I'm sure your W will understand smile
_________________________
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

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#2233884 - 03/28/12 07:53 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: purgatory]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
RickG - I'm good at namimg people I love, but not good at naming myself.

As for Vegas, I'm ready. I can feel the tribal blood in me start to wake up, ready to go!

Gmonk - as for Beth I meant that I can't understand how any WAS can make this choice. I get that it's their life and that they have a right to make their own choices and have their own perceptions of the M. I'm not fighting that.

What I will never understand is the choice. THis is the moment where any of our M's could leap into a greater level than ever before. Because it's broken it can be rebuilt, and if it hadn't been broken it could not have been rebuilt.

Why wouldn't the choice be to be open about every issue, decide to find answers and let go of the verbal traps that kept us talking in circles, accept the past pain which strengthens you both, get help, take time. I don't get it. Instead, the answer is to ruin everyone's hearts permanently, to leave that legacy for each for the rest of us in this life and beyond.

That's why I question how she can do that. I'm not saying one is a saint and the other is a demon.

That's why I think we're told over and over to do all the things DB'ing recommends because it's only us we can rebuild once the other has bailed. If there is ever some R on some horizon it is not going to be your spouse coming back to what was once there, they would only come back to something new. If we don't move forward we don't live. no M will come together again. It's a forced evacuation of our entire past.

We were on the titanic no matter what deck we were on when the iceberg hit. That ship was going down, but we are lucky enough to find another ship. Maybe it's too early to know what kind of ship you have been rescued by but its one you can steer yourself.

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#2233890 - 03/28/12 08:18 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: rickb89]
breakdownbill Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/12
Posts: 434
Loc: Liverpool, England
Originally Posted By: rickb89


That's why I think we're told over and over to do all the things DB'ing recommends because it's only us we can rebuild once the other has bailed. If there is ever some R on some horizon it is not going to be your spouse coming back to what was once there, they would only come back to something new. If we don't move forward we don't live. no M will come together again. It's a forced evacuation of our entire past.

We were on the titanic no matter what deck we were on when the iceberg hit. That ship was going down, but we are lucky enough to find another ship. Maybe it's too early to know what kind of ship you have been rescued by but its one you can steer yourself.


Hey Rick B

you are so right about what you said about WAS's. Great advice is always hard to accept, because it hurts.

They are looking for something new outside the M, because it's new, it's exciting, it's different. However, if they just blame the LBS for the failure of their M and don't deal with their own issues, it will be they who are lonely, no matter who they are with, because their heart will always be on the run from themselves.
_________________________
Me 34 W 32
D 9 S 6
M: 9 years
T: 12
Bomb: 02/11/12
EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing
Moved out: Oct 2012
Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13

Don't just GAL, find yourself and be happy

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#2233898 - 03/28/12 08:50 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: breakdownbill]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8518
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Rick, you speedo-wearing philosopher, you.

Great post, now if I giv eyou H's # could you call and give him that message?

Love ya
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2233907 - 03/28/12 09:07 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: labug]
Autumn Leaves Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 568
Loc: Pennsylvania
Wow Rick, that is so fantastic!! Thank you for that!
_________________________
-Autumn


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#2233955 - 03/28/12 11:08 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Good one rick! more later got to work now.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2233957 - 03/28/12 11:18 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Thanks Bugsy love you too

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#2233989 - 03/28/12 01:29 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: rickb89]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Rick, that was your best yet my friend.

What I will never understand is the choice. THis is the moment where any of our M's could leap into a greater level than ever before. Because it's broken it can be rebuilt, and if it hadn't been broken it could not have been rebuilt.

I struggle with this too. To you and I this makes perfect sense. THe old way stunk because of poor comunication, secrets, and lies (from me too). That was all before the bomb. That huge catalyst that ushered in weeks of reflection and change. I can say without any hesitation that I not ready for a reconciliation with my W for the first several weeks. I was hurt, she was hurt. I dated in a vain attempt to regain my ego and replace waht I thought I had lost. I did this all the while professing to love and miss my W. I did miss her, but for the wrong reasons. Now here I am. I'm not the same dude I was three months ago, though there is a long way to go on my journey still. It is tragic that our W's will not stop. It is what it is...
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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