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#2233695 03/27/12 04:21 PM
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I'm angry at myself for letting my relationship reach this pathetic point.

I actually called my ex girlfriend today from 20 years ago . I use to abuse her. Physically , verbally , and emotionally . It took alot of courage but I apologized and she truly deeply appreciated it.

part of my healing process im working on with my counselor

Also M1 I took my rings off but there back on. Her rings really haven't bothered me much .

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"Her rings really haven't bothered me much."

Not true ^^^ Net. You have been obsessing about the rings for weeks if not longer.

Keep your rings on if you like but quit obsessing over them. You putting yours back on is not going to magically get her to put hers back on.

It's good that you are owning up to past mistakes. The trick is to not continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. How are you going to tackle that nut?


Me51 W53 S17 S14
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Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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I'm tackling that nut through faith and my counseling. I'm making progress. I just bought that codependcy book. I have a book on positive thoughts. I'm trying to not be as reactive to her.

For example. Easter Sunday is my weekend with the kids. She invited me over for Easter (I know she only did this cuz I have the kids)

I accepted and offered to help set up tables if she feels we need to.

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Also fyi. She removed "married" from her FB profile. I haven't been obsessing over that or posting about that. So I am making progress.

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I don't believe that we are paid back for wrongs so much as we continue to do things that cause ourselves trouble.

Learn to plant different seeds.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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"But I do believe once a cheater always a cheater is not true. People grow up. I haven't cheated since we were married."

Hmmm you married a cheater correct? Sound true to me. To be realistic, you were ecstatic when she left her H for you. So now that you're on the other side of the fence, you're shocked and enraged that it's now happening to you.

It seems like she is the type to go from one person to another to have them "give" her happiness rather than she being able to generate the happiness herself. Have you thought about what you did to lure her away from her XH, and to see if that would work?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Well mr b you are assuming she is cheating right now. To be honest at the time I wasn't luring her away. We worked together and I was just being myself. She came onto me and I actually felt terrible about the whole situation but I fell in love with her.

But yes she does seen to have that pattern of behavior and I pray and hope there is not OM but if there is I can see y

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Net,

Listen to Labug, plant different seeds. Stupid question, but how do you act around her? Do you show her your anger when you are together?

SIW


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I don't really act angry around her. We had a blow out Thursday night because she was being sneaky on my weekend with the kids. there is a point where I need to defend my time with the kids. Not going to be a doormat and let her walk on me everytime I'm trying to enjoy my night with the kids. I was angry and removed my rings but I started wearing them again. My emotions are high.

Sorry guys I know you hate to hear this by my W is SUPER hormonal and its almost bi polar like. Have you ever lived with some that is bipolar. Try it out and tell me how your patience is.

Ive talked to 25 friends and they all tell me I'm nuts for holding on for this long. My patience is more then you think and I know I have to even practice more patience.

She did book a lawyer but it happened to be mine. She got another reference but from what I understand she never rescheduled with the excuse that she needs to plan for easter. (2 weeks out)

I did get an invite to Easter via email today. I accepted and offered help.

Thanks for your input. I am trying but this is the most challenging thing in my life ever. I am making tiny progress.

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