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Brkyln Babe - just here to say hi. Day by day, get stronger and let life come back!

rickb89 #2235235 04/03/12 11:24 PM
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H emailed me this morning.

Is D3 feeling better, and what do you want the plan to be for the weekend?

My H is very passive aggressive and never wants to "tell me" what the plan is, I am supposed to guess what he wants to do. I know he would prefer not to see the kids Sat. since he is working very late friday but I feel like I accomadate this all the time. I wrote back what I want, in a pleasant yet unpersonal way.

"As this is your weekend - pick up Saturday at 9 AM and perhaps you can return by 3 so I can go to my Uncle's Seder. Then you can pick up Sunday very early for Easter. We will then resume alternating with next weekend being mine.
D3 has recovered and is feeling better"

Dont think my H liked my response cause he hasnt written back. But when I write friendly things he doesnt like that either cause then "I am not getting it -- its over!!"

ugh. Any thoughts??


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2235240 04/03/12 11:36 PM
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I think you did the right thing! Be strong.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2235243 04/04/12 12:07 AM
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do they stay over night at H's on his weekends? just wondering about the partial day on saturday.

my H sometimes doesn't answer and i use to get all worried thinking about.. "did i get him upset?". now i just leave it. if he gets upset.. he gets upset. he's upset me enough to last a lifetime!

hang in there.


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
BFloat #2235248 04/04/12 12:11 AM
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Good one, bf. I feel the same way.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2235256 04/04/12 12:45 AM
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me, too!


M:63
H:53
S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23
M:15
T:16

Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways."
H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12
12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing

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You handled the response well. I agree with BF's comment ^^^


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


nhmom #2235276 04/04/12 02:42 AM
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BM, sounds like a good 180. Now my challenge would be to not dwell on my response and make up scenarios. Hope you don't have that challenge. You did good so move on with your life.

I have the same question as BF. do the girls ever spend the night with your H?


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
ces67 #2235291 04/04/12 03:29 AM
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They do spend the night there, just Sat. is a Jewish holiday that my family celebrates not his, so thats why I asked if the girls could come back on Sat. at 3p. This is his response

"Ok
Please explain to the girls the plan so they know what to expect.
Also. I can go to work a little later on Monday. If so, could they sleep over Sunday night? I probably have to be on the road by 8am- so I wouldn't be able to drop D3 off at school. "

I wrote back "ok."

This exchange of children makes me ill.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

BklynMom #2235303 04/04/12 04:11 AM
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Quote:
This exchange of children makes me ill.


I know it does, Brooklyn. Unfortunately this is your reality so see what you can do to get the routine settled so that you can better plan your GAL.

Remember, when your GAL is in full swing, great things begin to happen.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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