Ok then!

That's all encouraging but heed Starsky's advice -- don't jump through hoops. If she tells you to say something, make her wait / work for it. She'll appreciate it more when she gets it that way. Immediately jumping through the hoop is not attractive as Starsky pointed out.

Accuray

Sad, if you doubt it, ask 10 women.

A/S,

Thank you for the advice. The only hoops I will be jumping through are for my kids at this time.

W told me that she cancelled her appointment with her attorney. I am not reading anything into that.

SIW

Really? I think it's rather obvious.


Starsky

Starsky309,

Took your advice and have not sent a non kid/financial e-mail to her. Have not discussed the R or our M.

I have no problem giving my W space and letting her do her own thing. My focus through this process was being the best dad that I could be for my kids.

W told me that she has purposely been hands off with the kids the last few weeks.

I have no problem takings things day by day continuing to build my R with the kids, continue doing my 180's and working on GAL activities.

When it comes to my W I am trying to live without any expectations, but this is hard. The last two weeks she has been more intimate with me than we have been in a long time. She is also wanting to talk more and more. We are also doing more things together as a family.

As I previously stated W has indicated that she beleives that all this change is a temporary thing. I simply state that I am taking things day by day and that I am sorry she feels that way. It took her a long time to get where she is and will take a long time to get passed where we are.

Do I keep doing what I am doing and wait for my W to initiate any talk of reconciliation? Part of me hopes that she does not bring it up and that we take it slowly day by day. Then the impatient me would like her to put her ring on, etc. etc.

I think that there will be a time for this to come up and if I bring it up I may cause her to move two steps back.

It sounds like you are really doing great right now.

Must be empowering for you.

Labug,

Thanks for the kind words. Is it normal to feel empowered and hopeless the next hour? Is is really hard for me to not want to try and fix things (i.e. my marriage).

I took your advice to heart about my W providing a road map for the problems in our M. My R with the kids is sooo much better and they no longer follow the W wherever she goes.

I am hoping you can help me with this: W told me I was not there for such a long time regarding us, the kids and finances. I am doing more for the kids and when it comes to finances it is getting better. If my W is telling me I have not been there is it the best to detach from her? We are talking more and I do not see her pushing back as much as she used to. Wouldn't that be counter intuitive to improving our R? Just wanted your perspective. I really appreciate the advice you and others have provided.

SIW

Hey SIW... it's been a bit since I checked in on your sitch and this totally caught my eye.

Do you remember when this crap started? You were so concerned because the kids wouldn't do anything without W. So see? Progress! Celebrate the small changes and successes.

Yes, maybe this will have no impact on piecing your M back together, but it IS a good thing for your kids.

WHG,

Thank you, I was thinking about this myself. We should get together and go to a Brewers Game.

SIW