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#2233281 - 03/26/12 03:52 AM Sure was a nice rocking chair..
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2233308 - 03/26/12 06:21 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Quorumof1 Offline
New Member

Registered: 03/19/12
Posts: 13
Loc: Western Canada
Mnky,

I have just caught up on reading your posts. I feel for you bro and can relate in part to how you've contributed to your M woes over the years without knowing what you've done. My W and I have no kids either and I have made many mistakes in our M.

But I totally agree with LAbug that you can let yourself only take half the blame. We all bring our own crap to the M and your W doesn't sound like she has been prepared to take her share of the responsibility for what went wrong. It is likely so much easier for her to just blame you.

Hang in there, I can see from your threads that a ton of people here care about you and are along for the ride with you.

I just wanted you to know that while I don't know your demons that you brought to your M before I still think I get where your coming from. Hope that makes sense.

Q1
_________________________
M: 48 W:49
M:16 T:19
No kids
Distancing last 18 months
I have no feelings for you (we should separate): Feb 24/12
Me voluntarily moving out: Apr 1/12 (Fool's Day!)

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#2233351 - 03/26/12 03:38 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Quorumof1]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
It does make sense, Thanks.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2233357 - 03/26/12 03:48 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Still feel like crap this morning. In many ways I feel I am back to week one and its killing me. All I can do at this point is visit my lawyer and get my war face on. Last thing I wanted to do.I honestly thought there was a pretty good chance this was not going to happen. Her relative silence over the past several weeks was not reflection, but rather planning and filing. Feel like a total shmuck for pouring my heart out and sharing my feelings over the past weeks. Again, there are two sides to the story and I know I hurt her over the past year, however, I do not think she understands how much I was hurting too. At one point I actually discussed leaving my wife with work colleagues during this past summer. Its been a long strange road that is nearing its end. I wish she knew how much I was hurt too and how much I still care about her.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2233543 - 03/27/12 01:42 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
(this probably isn't the best time to say this, but I need to put it out there) I hear you keep replaying your past actions and wishing you wouldn't have done certai things- don't drive yourself crazy with these thoughts, it only causes mo...re heartache frown We all need to focus on the here-and-now and how to make the best choices that give us the best options for our futures.
I have become emotionally invested in all of y'all- I truly care about your well being and happiness.... Only want the best for you smile

^^^smart friend told me this today. I keep beating myself up and that was good in helping me figure out my role in the demise of my M. It was also helpful in addressing the things I disliked about myself. What will be will be no matter what...

Much more angry at myself than I am at my wife.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2233557 - 03/27/12 02:43 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
purgatory Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
You sure have got some smart friends!

Mnky, I'm so sorry you're at this phase of the roller coaster- the falling straight down into the ground feeling like you may fall out of the car....

All you can do is throw your hands up in the air, scream of you want and pray that you get to an upswing soon.


(((((())))))
_________________________
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

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#2233561 - 03/27/12 02:47 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
BklynMom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/29/11
Posts: 1842
Your W is a fool. THis is her loss.

Trust me I know how it feels to lose your best friend and your partner but you deserve better -- someone that will hang around for the long haul.

Doesnt mean I think its over with your W just means as she is now why do you want her??

Dont be angry at yourself. You didnt not cause this
_________________________
----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13


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#2233586 - 03/27/12 04:52 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: BklynMom]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
She has no reason to trust me right now. I understand where she is coming from honestly. No matter what I so or do, she cannot see into my heart and appreciate the man I have become and continue to become. I appreciate the kind words of support. This D will happen. Not sure if it's the final chapter in our story though.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2233598 - 03/27/12 07:28 AM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Cadet Online
Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 5319
Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
This D will happen. Not sure if it's the final chapter in our story though.

You get to write the chapters and decide how the story will turn out.
Right now the part that you can not control is TIME.

So make it your friend rather than your enemy.

Because none of this will happen on your schedule.

Let her GO.
If she never comes back then she was never yours to begin with.

You need to go PITCH BLACK DARK.
_________________________
Me-60, D28,S27

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#2233678 - 03/27/12 03:15 PM Re: Sure was a nice rocking chair.. [Re: Cadet]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
"Let her GO.
If she never comes back then she was never yours to begin with.
You need to go PITCH BLACK DARK. [/quote]


I have and I will. Thanks.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
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