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zig #2233384 03/26/12 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted By: zig
rick - i could never listen to the sitar all these years - couldn't stand it and i'm from india to boot. and now, i "discovered" his music and play it while i do my yoga - it's wonderful stuff and so uplifting

tonight i heard a piece that he played with Yehudi Menuhin - there's a whole album, my heart just about melted completely, it was so beautiful and peaceful..


Zig - i got into Ravi through George Harrison. I have always loved the eastern western musical combo. Within You Without You for instance!

Indian sitar music has alwsy stirred my sould to its deepest place!

rickb89 #2233457 03/26/12 09:37 PM
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Advice please? And isn't it interesting to be able to look at other sitches and provide input, but with our own the knees go weak and the backbone wobbles.

Part 1)H has a lot of stuff (tools, golf clubs, tools, canoe, tools) stored in the garage. In the initial stages of this saga, he had come up a few times and got things from the garage. After that I asked him to respect my space and not come up and take things from the garage without arranging it with me. He agreed. This had been fine-he hasn't asked and hasn't retrieved anything.

This week he asked the sons to bring him something from the garage. It's small piddly thing that has no value for me but I feel disrespected that he didn't just send an email and let me know. I wouldn't ask them to bring dishes, or sheets or towels (that belong to both of us) from his place.

Part 2)I asked him in Jan if he had a plan for what to do with this garage stuff along with some other questions about other issues. He answered the other ? but there was no mention of the "stuff."

My draft: H, I'd like to stick with our agreement about getting things from the garage. An email will do, just to let me know what is being removed.

Also, I had asked a couple of months ago if you had a plan about what to do with your tools, etc. Let me know if you would like to set up a time to get those.

Am I being petty? Am I wanting to contact because I'm missing the contact? Am I just pissed? Does the text sound controlling, resentful, angry?

Thanks, all.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2233462 03/26/12 09:46 PM
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Maybe put that in your email? Let him know that there is no malice in your request. I'd keep the canoe though..


Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.
Grmpy_Mnky #2233464 03/26/12 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
I'd keep the canoe though..


Y'know, I might. I love canoeing and we always had such a great time being out on the water.

He'll just sell it, would be my guess.

Thanks for the input.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2233468 03/26/12 10:02 PM
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I think its appropriate to remind him of the agreement. maybe also mention that the item was not a concern but it did remind you of your request in January.

Maybe say you'd like to get the garage organized/cleared out and to do so you'll need to know what he wants and when he can take it.

I'd go for the canoe as well!


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
labug #2233469 03/26/12 10:04 PM
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Originally Posted By: labug
Advice please? And isn't it interesting to be able to look at other sitches and provide input, but with our own the knees go weak and the backbone wobbles.


And I completely get this. Happens to me way too much. We're too close to our own sitch's and probably see way too many ramifications of our choices.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
labug #2233470 03/26/12 10:04 PM
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La you are having a Rick moment. Do you need the space in the garage? Did your H asking your son to bring him something without u knowing triggered something? I know that feeling very well. Maybe u should put that email away for a few see how feel later. Mnky is right the canoe may come in handy in Vegas.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





labug #2233474 03/26/12 10:09 PM
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i'll use that too - good analogy:)


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

ces67 #2233476 03/26/12 10:12 PM
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This is the same issue in SAIS's thread!

I'm in on keeping the canoe!

I guess it all boils down to your true reason for needing this stuff to be dealt with. This is exaclty what you ask us when we're in the same dilemma!

If you have accepted your H's sitch as his sitch and can legitimately reach a state of mind of moving forward with your life then by all means ask him to comply wth the agreement or whatever you want done about it. If however there is some level of pursuit involved then think before you act. And as you well know its so hard to not have some level of pursuit or own agenda in the mix!

rickb89 #2233478 03/26/12 10:13 PM
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Seems like everybody agrees the canoe is the inportant thing here

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