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#2233384 - 03/26/12 12:53 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: zig]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: zig
rick - i could never listen to the sitar all these years - couldn't stand it and i'm from india to boot. and now, i "discovered" his music and play it while i do my yoga - it's wonderful stuff and so uplifting

tonight i heard a piece that he played with Yehudi Menuhin - there's a whole album, my heart just about melted completely, it was so beautiful and peaceful..


Zig - i got into Ravi through George Harrison. I have always loved the eastern western musical combo. Within You Without You for instance!

Indian sitar music has alwsy stirred my sould to its deepest place!

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#2233457 - 03/26/12 05:37 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: rickb89]
labug Online   content
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 7804
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Advice please? And isn't it interesting to be able to look at other sitches and provide input, but with our own the knees go weak and the backbone wobbles.

Part 1)H has a lot of stuff (tools, golf clubs, tools, canoe, tools) stored in the garage. In the initial stages of this saga, he had come up a few times and got things from the garage. After that I asked him to respect my space and not come up and take things from the garage without arranging it with me. He agreed. This had been fine-he hasn't asked and hasn't retrieved anything.

This week he asked the sons to bring him something from the garage. It's small piddly thing that has no value for me but I feel disrespected that he didn't just send an email and let me know. I wouldn't ask them to bring dishes, or sheets or towels (that belong to both of us) from his place.

Part 2)I asked him in Jan if he had a plan for what to do with this garage stuff along with some other questions about other issues. He answered the other ? but there was no mention of the "stuff."

My draft: H, I'd like to stick with our agreement about getting things from the garage. An email will do, just to let me know what is being removed.

Also, I had asked a couple of months ago if you had a plan about what to do with your tools, etc. Let me know if you would like to set up a time to get those.

Am I being petty? Am I wanting to contact because I'm missing the contact? Am I just pissed? Does the text sound controlling, resentful, angry?

Thanks, all.
_________________________
Me 56/H 57
M 35 S 24 S 21
Bomb 3/11 He moved out 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 He's home now

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate but, it is fear. Gandhi


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#2233462 - 03/26/12 05:46 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: labug]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Maybe put that in your email? Let him know that there is no malice in your request. I'd keep the canoe though..
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2233464 - 03/26/12 05:51 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
labug Online   content
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 7804
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
I'd keep the canoe though..


Y'know, I might. I love canoeing and we always had such a great time being out on the water.

He'll just sell it, would be my guess.

Thanks for the input.
_________________________
Me 56/H 57
M 35 S 24 S 21
Bomb 3/11 He moved out 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 He's home now

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate but, it is fear. Gandhi


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#2233468 - 03/26/12 06:02 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: labug]
ces67 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 983
I think its appropriate to remind him of the agreement. maybe also mention that the item was not a concern but it did remind you of your request in January.

Maybe say you'd like to get the garage organized/cleared out and to do so you'll need to know what he wants and when he can take it.

I'd go for the canoe as well!
_________________________
Me:44, W:43
S:15, D:11
M:21, T:24
Bomb: July 2010
Stopped MC for 2nd time late summer 2013
Dropping the rope...

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#2233469 - 03/26/12 06:04 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: labug]
ces67 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 983
Originally Posted By: labug
Advice please? And isn't it interesting to be able to look at other sitches and provide input, but with our own the knees go weak and the backbone wobbles.


And I completely get this. Happens to me way too much. We're too close to our own sitch's and probably see way too many ramifications of our choices.
_________________________
Me:44, W:43
S:15, D:11
M:21, T:24
Bomb: July 2010
Stopped MC for 2nd time late summer 2013
Dropping the rope...

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#2233470 - 03/26/12 06:04 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: labug]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2446
Loc: Piney Land
La you are having a Rick moment. Do you need the space in the garage? Did your H asking your son to bring him something without u knowing triggered something? I know that feeling very well. Maybe u should put that email away for a few see how feel later. Mnky is right the canoe may come in handy in Vegas.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2233474 - 03/26/12 06:09 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: labug]
zig Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/12
Posts: 1855
Loc: KS
i'll use that too - good analogy:)
_________________________
me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"


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#2233476 - 03/26/12 06:12 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: ces67]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
This is the same issue in SAIS's thread!

I'm in on keeping the canoe!

I guess it all boils down to your true reason for needing this stuff to be dealt with. This is exaclty what you ask us when we're in the same dilemma!

If you have accepted your H's sitch as his sitch and can legitimately reach a state of mind of moving forward with your life then by all means ask him to comply wth the agreement or whatever you want done about it. If however there is some level of pursuit involved then think before you act. And as you well know its so hard to not have some level of pursuit or own agenda in the mix!

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#2233478 - 03/26/12 06:13 PM Re: Dagnabit! [Re: rickb89]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Seems like everybody agrees the canoe is the inportant thing here

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