Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 18 1 2 9 10 11 12 13 17 18
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
oh yes.. incredibly fun stuff. and to boot.. it's a grey day. but sunny days are coming.. i'm pretty sure of it smile will be up late again tonight at work. hang in there. you're doing an amazing job holding yourself together.

how often do you see your kids? do you have grandkids?


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Hi, what is your job, I thought I saw scrubs somewhere? My d. 35, live in NYC. Every few years. My S 27 lives in Seattle. Not very often. 3 or 4 times a year. He's in his second to last qrt. at the U. A late bloomer! No grandkids. We have been burning thru the cell minutes, so that's good. This whole disaster has had one good byproduct, we are all a lot more connected. They love me and I love them. Thank God for kids!

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Got back from my L earlier. She brought up financial things I didn't have some answers for. Had to talk to H. for 1/2 hour to get clarification. Fun. I hope things can be worked out without it becoming messy or expensive. But I do feel looked after by her. Guess more packing is in my future tonite. All this work is probably good to keep my mind from looking back, regret or forward, fear.

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 803
i'm glad you feel taken care of from your L. that would set your mind at ease a bit i would hope? earlier today i was thinking.. i will feel much better when everything is tidy and back in order. i use to be such a neat freak. the past few years have driven me crazy because everything was so out of control. downsize.. and create a calming space. i hope it happens soon!!

your son is in seattle? not too far off. but i guess college life keeps him busy. thank goodness for phone cards.. skype.. internet.. helps to keep up w/ loved ones!

did you say you're moving to bellingham?


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Yes, Bellingham, found a nice condo in the Cordata area, by Whatcom Comm. College. You should see my house right now! Looks like a bomb went off.

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
I just have to say, if I couldn't come here every day, I don't know where I'd be. Thank you Michelle! I swear it is the only thing keeping me sane. It's like having friends who totally get it!! Just reading everyone's stories, makes me feel like I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one in the world to mess up. I think I should change my screen name to grateful in wa. How would I do that?

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Working out the finanacial stuff is horrible. From info from him I have to see if my keeping the house would benefit me in the long run. Waiting till tommorrow to do that - I think I may have to consult a financial planner to see if I'm getting a fair deal. Yuck!

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
How do you try to take care of yourself with finances in sep. agreement, without p. H. off? It's been amicable till now, now since I got L. I just don't. I think he IS trying to be fair, I've been operating in that capacity, but now it's coming down to the real deal. He's the one running the numbers here, but I'm looking at living off of $854 s.sec. at age 67 and he's going to have a ton of money. I'm 58 now. I'm going to get some expert advise for my own well being. I need to look out for me in my "old age". But how does this work for db'ing. Is this going to wreck the reasonalbe relationship - still want to be friends? I am so sick of this. So much uncertainty.

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
I'm really seeing what happened to end us. Anyway, this friend of his, I would say best friend has been struggling w his m. for a long time. I'm sure because they spend a lot of time together, they commisserate, they wind it up, "get divorced". Because of convo. w h. today, he mentioned his friend said get a lawyer, blah, blah, blah,.

He seems to be invested in all this.
I really think his friend is living vicariously thru our div. sorry about spelling. This guy, is like a guru to my h. in workplace, and h. thinks he is a god like figure. My ex has some serious insecurity issues. he really puts this guy, at some really high level?? I think he is really bright but really screwed up He has a horrible marriage and doesn't treat his wife vey well. I hate him and the influence he has on my h. The weekend he came home from a visit to him, h. dropped bomb. I feel like he filled my h. head with all sorts of crap, that he was projecting about his m. but none of this matters, my h. is d. me. i just have had a realization about how susceptible my stbx is to outside influence,. but I did know that he has insecurities. I'm just realizing how an insecure spouse can be affected by outside influences and it pisses me off, He, the friend, is trying to work out his own crap with his wife with my h.
The bomb dropped after he spent weekend w him. This all became apparent tody after H. said, his friend said, right gefore he dropped bomb yes you need to get a lawyer and advisng him about all legal matters. Hate him. Friend said?? and is advising him. I really think, my h. is insecure and letting a STRONG friend who has marriage issues influence him. Weak husband, my crap, equals divorce.

Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Plus my h. has chronic pain, which he is getting surgery for April 5. His dad died 2 years ago, I don't know, plus a friend? egging him on to resolve his own bad marriage issues. Can I ever fix this. Don't think so, just have to do the best for me and get on with a new better me, It's just so hard. Sometimes, no, a lot of times, I don't even want to get up in morning. Only thing to make me, is my kids. So much regret, so much fear. Well if i survive this i will be a stonger person. so what? Can't see and feel into future and can't fake it. Right now, feel like crap. I hope someone responds to this. Feeling very alone right now.

Page 11 of 18 1 2 9 10 11 12 13 17 18

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard