Keeping the Kids Out of It

[PrincessP]

Eva,
Getting together is a great idea. I am trying to figure out how to privately contact you.

Any thoughts?

[Cadet]

Not sure which stage of MLC H is in now. Where are the active links to the stages and other resources? I tried going through the archives and it only redirects you the main DB forums page.

Go back to the post that you made on Golfmoms thread to angel and all the links are three posts above yours.
That post should explain it all.

[PrincessP]

Thank you. By the way, I see most of the resources or posts are from Snodderly and Hearts Blessing. Did DB work for them?

[evas]

PP,
I'm sorry you found out about OW and that it should have to happen over your daughter's bday weekend, but at least now you know. I found out, like I wrote here, through a text H sent to me but which was meant for her. She is older than H (who is 39) and younger than me (I'm 43). But H always preferred "older" women, so no surprise there. Before I found out about DB, I pried, found her phone number and called her, which now I realize I should have never done. H is totally enamored with her. It's all very MLC.

I've been doing great at DBing lately. I feel very angry with H at times, but have decided not to act on that. I used to talk, talk, talk and now I don't say anything. I do wonder though if H feels that "Oh, she's fine" and just enjoys OW even more when he sees that I seem perfectly OK? But NOT DBing obviously doesn't work, so what other choices do I have?

Perhaps the veterans on this board know how people can get in touch with each other privately here? I have no clue. I would like so much to have someone to talk to about these things over coffee, someone who understands. I've told very few of our friends, and I have found that few understand what an MLC really is (I certainly didn't until just weeks ago), and most of the friends I've told have told me to just leave H and move on, so I'm very careful to whom I speak and what I say. Though you and I don't know each other we are in the same boat, with children the same age, and not too far away. I sometimes get a bit depressed, all my family is in Europe and I am currently waiting for my citizenship (H doesn't know that I applied). I'm seriously thinking about going back home once I get the papers. The sad thing is that I love it here, and have a job I feel passionate about. And of course I still love H and believe our M is worth saving. Oh what a mess this is! And our poor S4 in the middle of it.

[Cadet]

Thank you. By the way, I see most of the resources or posts are from Snodderly and Hearts Blessing.
Did DB work for them?

YES

[Cadet]

Perhaps the veterans on this board know how people can get in touch with each other privately here?

There is the alternate universe that is a social networking site but it is against the TOS to exchange that information on this site.

I can tell you that I live in the same county as you, at the very Northern western most part of it, so I must be very close to you.

Keep reading and studying what has been written in the past and maybe that will help you.

EVAS you should start your own thread IMHO.

PrincessP also in reference to my last post the two people mentioned had very different results from DB'ing but I would classify both of them as being highly successful.

Hope that helps.

[evas]

I did start my own thread in Newcomers, I just don't know what happened to it.
Cadet, are you in Westchester or in NJ?

[Cadet]

I did start my own thread in Newcomers, I just don't know what happened to it.
Cadet, are you in Westchester

No you do not have your own thread, you have been posting on PrincesP thread and I live in NY.

[Cadet]

I did start my own thread in Newcomers, I just don't know what happened to it.

No you do not have your own thread, you have been posting on PrincesP thread

Edit to above - Just counted your posts and you only have 6 posts but it says you should have 7 so maybe the missing one is your thread.
Could be stuck in moderation some where. IDK

[PrincessP]

The anonymity is very nice but to find like-minded friends in what is a time when most of your family and friends are telling you get out, cut off your leg and get on with life, it would be nice to hear a voice when you are alone in the darkness of your bedroom. I go to bed at 8 pm when my D4 does, she can't sleep alone anymore. Against all of my practicalities I let her sleep in our bed now. I find myself waking at 4 am thinking, praying, with a headache sometimes, but always waking then. In the Chinese culture 4 is an unlucky number (I am not Chinese by the way.) A little superstitious now and then, yes. I won't go into all of the coincidences of the number 4.

Back to the point...happy to meet any DB friends for support. Not that we are experts but friendships are always nice. You know your true friends because they are there for you through the dark times.