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I hope this money business doesn't turn him nasty. He sounded not to happy today. Plus he can get pretty dug in and stubborn.

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Just had a thought before I head off to bed "this is where you find yourself" Can be taken two ways, you know. It is wht it is and it is an opportunity. How profound of me at this hour!

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i actually went to bed early last night! well.. about midnight. today i moved my tv.. wiring and all. operation tv.. successful! slider things.. good purchase!

i know you're busy packing and all.. what else are you doing for you? are you seeing an IC? i know in your original post you mentioned some issues w/in the marriage.. your self esteem.. not feeling loved from a young age.. just wondering if there's anything different that you're doing..

really hope you're having a good day. it's gray over here. haven't left the house! kind of nice actually.. lots to clean!


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
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Posts: 285
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Good job on moving tv! I can't really afford a counselor right now. I looked into it and found out grad students at WWU will give for free. Will start after the move and things get settled. Thanks for asking. Weather is terrible here, rain, rain, rain. I might drive to Blaine and get some take out chinese. They have the best hot & sour soup. Probably last time I get it for awhile. When is Retro and where is it? Also you never told me what your job is, thought I heard something about scrubs. hope you have a good day too.

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that's so funny! i know you've asked numerous times what i do and i keep thinking i've answered it until the next time you ask.. lol. i am an RN. hence the scrubs.

now that you've mentioned hot & sour soup.. i want some! i'm sure you'll find good soup in bellingham too. plus it will be nice to have more things to do? keep you busy i hope.

the counselling is a nice way to talk all about yourself w/out worrying that you're completely dominating the conversation. i found it to be tremendously helpful because i would figure out things as i said them as well.

retro is in 2 weeks. somewhere in langley i think. details to follow.

what can you do for yourself tonight? i think for me.. i may take a nice warm bath.. bubbles and all. deserve it after moving that darn tv!


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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Well that trip was a bust. The resturant is under new mgmt and was closed! I'm sure I'll find some in B'ham. My daughter is sceduled to call tonite, so that will be nice. A bath does sound good. That's great you are an RN, it explains alot about the person you are! What's your custody arrangement? Do you have kids today?

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i have kids this weekend. was supposed to be H's weekend but his good friend is leaving in a week or so and they are having the big farewell party. otherwise.. he has them every second weekend.

i never got that bath but did have a nice hot shower! also enjoying the new location of the tv. and everything is working! i'm going to order these tag things my gf saw in a martha stewart magazine that should help me organize the wiring. wish i could send you a pic! it's a disaster!

when do you move?


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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Joined: Jan 2012
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Probably in 2-3 weeks. I hate packing. Brings up so many memories. But I got a lot accomplished today. Started on the kitchen, the worst. You should see my house! Boxes everywhere! I think I will get upto hundreds. I've almost finished the whole upstairs. The worst is the kitchen. Eveything needs to be wrapped. But I'm taking the good stuff, if you know what i mean. So proud of you with wiring. I'm insisting h. be at move, b/c there is wireless computer, cable, dvr, dvd, etc. Can't deal, plus don't want to be alone with a bunch of mover guys. he's agreed to be there and help.

He's having his back surgery on April 5th. Doc said 6 weeks recup. He does'nt even want me to be with him in Seattle for this. I offerred a couple of times. I think he thinks, well mind reading, that it would lead me on, and it would be too much of a bonding sit. Whatever, right now I'm sure he is po'd at me for standing up to p. settlement and making things difficult for him.

I had a good talking to from my d. bf father, a self described cynic, to look out for myself in this money settlement. I've been way to agreeable, this is trouble to me in my db. But I have too look out for myself. I may never know if my dbing will work in future, but need to take care of myself. Not getting any younger! Today was hard. I've been reading others threads, morning sadness gets me every day, plus the stupid dreams, still together, working stuff out. It's amazing, I had dreams over the last year he was leaving me. Wow, I wish I had listened to them. So I just need to go on day to day. I'm just afraid that after all is done, I'm in new place, no matter what I do to fix me, that he will never see. We don't have kid, so really no need to see each other. That he will just be done and gone. But I need to make a life for myself no matter what. Sorry for the long post. But that's where I'm at. It's hard, but compared to when bomb dropped, it's not as horrible.

I really hope the best for you and thank you for checking in.

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I just spent 3 hours on the social security website. Spouses benefits in a divorce and how much you lose if you start at 62 vs. 66. I think I get it now, hope I can get H. to get it also. I feel like I'm becoming a cpa with all this research on retirement computations and s. security benefits. Wish me well!

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Just got a confirmation email from my cpa, it looks like i'm the right, which will cost him thousands. Sent the info to h. by email. Haven't heard back. Sure he's waiting to talk to his L. Anxiety producing to say the least.

Still packing away. Went through a box and so many pictures and memories of when we were happy. How can this be happening?

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