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#2232573 - 03/22/12 08:31 AM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: Cadet]
hopingandpraying Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/12
Posts: 283
Yes, I have considered this and he did go to see a social worker or psychiatrist or psychologist (he wasn't sure which one when he told me about it last weekend) yesterday, but he said "it was crap." I did not ask him why it was crap...just said I'm sorry you felt it did not go well.

Even though I've considered this and everyone close to him thinks the same thing...because he is just not happy with ANYTHING in his life, I just wish he could work on his internal unhappiness while being at home. I guess I just don't understand because I have never felt that low about myself. I feel sooo unhappy right now, but there are other great things in my life! smile This is just sooo hard!
_________________________
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..

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#2232578 - 03/22/12 08:55 AM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: hopingandpraying]
Cadet Online
Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 5104
Originally Posted By: stephanie111
Yes, I have considered this and he did go to see a social worker or psychiatrist or psychologist (he wasn't sure which one when he told me about it last weekend) yesterday, but he said "it was crap." I did not ask him why it was crap...just said I'm sorry you felt it did not go well.

Even though I've considered this and everyone close to him thinks the same thing...because he is just not happy with ANYTHING in his life, I just wish he could work on his internal unhappiness while being at home. I guess I just don't understand because I have never felt that low about myself. I feel sooo unhappy right now, but there are other great things in my life! smile This is just sooo hard!

Yes this is hard.
Understand that you can NOT FIX him.
You have planted the seed that he might be depressed, now let it go and try to detach your feelings from this.

Until he hits bottom he will not admit anything is wrong.
He will find ways to turn it onto some one else.
Or be some one elses fault.

A counselor is only as good as the person going to them wants them to be.
If he does not want to help himself then nothing anyone else does is going to work.

Focus on the things that are good in your life.

A depressed person is more likely to follow a happy person, just do not let him drag you down.

Is he going to go back to the counselor?
_________________________
Me-60, D27,S26

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#2232582 - 03/22/12 09:05 AM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: Cadet]
hopingandpraying Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/12
Posts: 283
Thank you!


I am not sure if he is going back to the counselor. He did not say and I did not ask him. I hope he does, because I think you can't just go one time...even if he did get a bad taste in his mouth. When we go to DB coach, he is in there for a long time and he says that he is going to read the book that she suggested, so in a way he is trying, but maybe he just isn't there yet!
_________________________
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..

Top
#2232830 - 03/23/12 11:08 AM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: hopingandpraying]
hopingandpraying Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/12
Posts: 283
So, today is H birthday and I'm torn on what to do. I think he is expecting that I will send him a text or call him, but I'm still annoyed that he couldn't take 20 minutes out of his day the other day to get ice cream. (He does not know that I'm annoyed with that.)

I don't know what to do...
_________________________
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..

Top
#2232837 - 03/23/12 11:38 AM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: hopingandpraying]
jks Offline
Member

Registered: 03/08/12
Posts: 623
Loc: USA
I would say just send him a very simple text and leave it at that. I think he is showing you that he needs space. Give him the time he needs. Just like you said, "the ball is in his court." Do not pursue it and let him come to you when he's ready. It feels weird to pull away completely and to ignore big days like birthdays and such but it needs to happen. (I have to say that these type of days always made me sad but as time has gone on, it has gotten easier... I never thought I would say that.)
_________________________
Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.



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#2232842 - 03/23/12 11:46 AM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: jks]
jbnati Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 2748
Loc: Cincinnati
I would agree, a simple text should be sufficient. I sent my W a simple "Happy Birthday!" last month at this time while I was out of the country. I've also been doing this for a year. She replied back with a 'Thanks!". I just left it at that.
_________________________
BITS
Me:46 / W:47 / M:19 / T:21 / S13
Bomb#1: 5/8/2008
MC: 5/2008 - 4/2010
Bomb#2: 2/10/2011
W moves out 5/7/2011

'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' - Matt. 19:26

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#2232881 - 03/23/12 03:41 PM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: jbnati]
nhmom Offline
Member

Registered: 12/20/11
Posts: 345
I agree, send a simple "Happy Birthday!" and leave it at that.
_________________________
Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11



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#2232917 - 03/23/12 06:35 PM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: nhmom]
hopingandpraying Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/12
Posts: 283
I sent a "Happy Birthday" and he said "Thanks"...uggh!
_________________________
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..

Top
#2232920 - 03/23/12 06:40 PM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: hopingandpraying]
breakdownbill Offline
Member

Registered: 02/22/12
Posts: 434
Loc: Liverpool, England
Originally Posted By: stephanie111
I sent a "Happy Birthday" and he said "Thanks"...uggh!


Well "Thanks" is better than no reply. You rose above it all & still wished him a happy birthday. In spite of his short reply - everyone likes people wishing them a happy birthday - try not to read to much into it.

Bill
_________________________
Me 34 W 32
D 9 S 6
M: 9 years
T: 12
Bomb: 02/11/12
EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing
Moved out: Oct 2012
Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13

Don't just GAL, find yourself and be happy

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#2232921 - 03/23/12 06:42 PM Re: Husband left me...feel hopeless [Re: breakdownbill]
hopingandpraying Offline
Member

Registered: 02/21/12
Posts: 283
Yeah I know. I do have to look at the positives and I actually did just call him to talk about finances and he picked up, so that's a plus too maybe. We will see..I just want him home and happy with me! frown
_________________________
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..

Top
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