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#2233116 - 03/24/12 10:18 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: barely floating]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Thanks for the tip Labug. And thank you barely and quorum. Well, what a day. I'm pretty drained and sort of numb tonite. Spent all day doing yardwork with h. It's just so sad. We spent so much of our time out on the deck, just like today. Knowing it's all going to end. Just plain sad tonite and trying not to think too much.

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#2233119 - 03/24/12 10:37 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Wow, not reading ANYTHING into this, but just got a text from h. He said - thanks for the help. Had a nice day. I text back - you are welcome. it was nice hanging ov with you! I am a terrible texter. It's sort of nice to know he was thinking of me. Makes tonites sadness a little better.

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#2233140 - 03/25/12 06:34 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
These last 2 days have put me into a tailspin. Damn rollercoaster. Just want it to be over. The mindreading, expectations, crazymaking. It just makes me not want to ever see him again. I don't know how you guys with kids, where you have to see all the time, deal.

I just want to go very dark. I'm seeing my L. tuesday, to go over final draft of d. papers. Might just not get back to him for a time. Just sick of this and wish I could just wake up and not have to deal with crappy life. It is so hard, I feel like I'm in a ten round boxing match, and I've only had the first punch. Sick of it. Just wish I could have some peace and relief. I know it is not going to come from him. I know, GAL, who cares, i have to get packed in the next 2 weeks and move myself into my new "great life". Whohoo. Have good thoughts about myself, GAL, don't think about him.

This place helps but I feel like I fabricate strength, like I'm talking myself into feelings that I don't really feel. I feel like such a fake db'r. I know what is said to help on this board, but not feeling it tonite. Hope I wake up tommorrow and things look better. Maybe I'm just having a pity party tonite after all this contact with h. So tired, going to try to sleep. This is not to say I feel REAL support here from great people. This negativism is just me and looking at my truth. I really appreciate my friends here. Just don't know if I'm worthy.

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#2233142 - 03/25/12 07:56 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
ok, I'm worthy. I just feel really bad tonite. Having these two days with him is killer. Like I said, I don't know how you guys with kids, who have to deal daily with S. So much emotional turmoil. But it keeps you in contact. I'm afraid after d. is final in 2 weeks, we will have no contact. How can he see my changes? Anyone out there who has similar sit, How to keep any contact for us??? I am really feeling hopeless. Like this is it. Over and done with, Can anyone help me?

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#2233150 - 03/25/12 09:19 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8384
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Quote:
This place helps but I feel like I fabricate strength, like I'm talking myself into feelings that I don't really feel. I feel like such a fake db'r.


I think we all fabricate strength in the beginning but in continuing to do that eventually you begin to unearth the real strength you have inside you. The trouble comes when you don't act from that place of strength and continue to allow his actions to dictate your feelings.

Quote:
The mindreading, expectations, crazymaking
Stop those thoughts when they arise and do something nice for you, learn something new, go to a new place, start a new activity, volunteer somewhere.

By getting enmeshed in a relationship, we lose the person we were before the R. Reacquaint yourself with that person and build on that.

Who is HIW? (and you're not hopeless)
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2233152 - 03/25/12 09:26 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: labug]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8384
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Quote:
(and you're not hopeless)
but continuing to think you are is only hurting you.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2233153 - 03/25/12 09:29 AM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: labug]
adinva Offline
Member

Registered: 09/06/11
Posts: 2740
Loc: VA
Originally Posted By: labug
I think we all fabricate strength in the beginning but in continuing to do that eventually you begin to unearth the real strength you have inside you. The trouble comes when you don't act from that place of strength and continue to allow his actions to dictate your feelings.

Good post labug! I agree!
_________________________
Adinva 47 H48
T22 M19 S16 S14
6/15/11 IDLY
6/11-12/12 in-home sep
12/16/12 H moved out
Nothing signed yet
____
Be the change you want to see in the world (Gandhi)

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#2233205 - 03/25/12 05:46 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: adinva]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 750
HIW.. welcome to LBS adventureland! where the rides never seem to end and they leave you completely spinning!

the old adage.. fake it 'til you make it rings true here. if you have had a chance to read a thread here from the beginning.. you'll probably notice changes in the person that they may not even be aware of themselves.

as for your pity party.. who better to have a pity party with than people who are in the same boat themselves? you are definitely worthy.. of all that.. and more.

you are going to have a "great life". and once you're in your own space, you'll be able to continue to find yourself. when you're happy and at peace with yourself, people can't help but notice (at least that's what i'm telling myself!). lol.

(((( ))))
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2233277 - 03/25/12 11:45 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: barely floating]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Barely hi, Been doing a lot of packing today. Trying to forget the weekend. Hopefully I can just go dark for a few days. Hard going through things, especially like birthday cards, etc. from h. Oh the goood old days!

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#2233513 - 03/26/12 08:27 PM Re: RYoure: Husband of 17 year out the door in a hurry [Re: hopeless in wa]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
So just more packing and getting prepared to see my lawyer tommorrow. How much fun can it get!

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