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#2232053 - 03/20/12 03:01 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: labug]
sayitaintso Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/11
Posts: 951
Great posts Rick. I'm honored to have met u on here and to have you as a friend.

You are a great man!!!
_________________________
Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley

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#2232064 - 03/20/12 03:38 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: sayitaintso]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
^^^what he said.

I have noticed you posts over the past week seem much more centered Rick. I think you are on to something here.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2232065 - 03/20/12 03:40 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Almost forgot...242!!!!!!!!!! I'm impressed.
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2232128 - 03/20/12 07:19 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: labug]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: labug
A lot of stuff gets tossed around here on the board as fact, and I doubt that the data is their to support those facts.

Like I wonder if there is a statistical difference in the number of divorces that occur in M that remain in the same home vs those that physically separate?

Quote:
When you live with your S in this sitch, and then you reach this point, they are still there in contact with you on a daily basis, it can get quite confusing. Before, when there were signs of a new M life showing it was completely laced with my intentions - hoping that would lead to a R. Letting that control me was destroying my life, and I have the kids to think about.





Not sure, but I would think there's more D amongst those that are physically separated. I'm thinking it must have been pretty bad to separate in the first place. But then my sitch goes against that maybe. Hell, I really don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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#2232130 - 03/20/12 07:20 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Thansk SAIS, Monkster...maybe some day we will all be talking about how great EVERYTHING is!

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#2232140 - 03/20/12 07:42 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 8918
Loc: Sonoran Desert


[/quote]

Not sure, but I would think there's more D amongst those that are physically separated. I'm thinking it must have been pretty bad to separate in the first place. But then my sitch goes against that maybe. Hell, I really don't know, that's why I'm asking. [/quote]

But you have to think the stress of dealing with this everyday is dangerous physically and emotionally.

My life is placid compared to some of the other situations here.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M36 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2232148 - 03/20/12 08:06 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: labug]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
^^here, here
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2232172 - 03/20/12 08:46 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2549
Loc: Piney Land
La I agree. Want to scratch my eyes out sometimes. Since we have silent dinners I can really hear her nasal dripps pretty clearly. She has been sick more than usual. Maybe I'll get me some ear plugs. Wada ya think?
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2232200 - 03/20/12 09:46 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Rick1963]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
There's merit in that Bugsy. I asked because it sukks so bad having the walk away in such close proximity at home. Maybe separation is good to completely and clearly examine the R.

Who knows? Who would even want to count the statistics?

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#2232263 - 03/21/12 03:00 AM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
ces67 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 1024
Maybe it's a coin toss. In some ways separating takes away the immediate stress but I would think you'll need a plan to reconnect at some point if the goal is still to build a better marriage.

I've been living with my w post bomb for a good while and it's sux but at the same time there are benefits. Each sitch is different though so could certainly understand some who just need to get out of a bad sitch.
_________________________
Me:45, W:44
S:15, D:12
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
2 attempts at MC-stopped 09/13
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms

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