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#2236009 - 04/06/12 08:41 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Sad in WI]
Sad in WI Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 225
The only things she has done without me is hanging out with one of her work friends and she brings the kids. She does not drink when she goes out and is in bed by 9:00 p.m. most nights. The last time she went out for drinks with friends was years ago.
_________________________
M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8

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#2236015 - 04/06/12 08:58 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Sad in WI]
mindfull Offline
Member

Registered: 11/28/08
Posts: 3975
Sheesh. Sad. Let's turn this around!
_________________________
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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#2236018 - 04/06/12 09:01 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: mindfull]
Sad in WI Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 225
Mindfull,

I am trying. W is sick and was supposed to pick up the kids at Y-Care after work since I dropped them off. I told her that I would pick them up and take them to dinner so she could sleep. I don't want a sick W in FA.

SIW
_________________________
M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8

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#2236086 - 04/07/12 02:41 AM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Sad in WI]
Starsky309 Online
Member

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 4855
Loc: Florida
Sad,

When you ML, will your wife kiss you passionately?
_________________________
At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

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#2236089 - 04/07/12 02:44 AM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Starsky309]
Sad in WI Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/12
Posts: 225
W kisses passionately all the time.
_________________________
M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8

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#2236093 - 04/07/12 03:08 AM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Sad in WI]
Starsky309 Online
Member

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 4855
Loc: Florida
Then I doubt there is someone else.
_________________________
At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

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#2236142 - 04/07/12 01:14 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Sad in WI]
YankeeCandle Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 335
Originally Posted By: Sad in WI
W and I talked today about R. She stated that the fact that I am helping more with the finances has made her madder than when I did not help her. And that if I did this earlier then we would not be where we are currently are.

How can I work on romance when my W has a wall between us?



Yes, I've heard this one too.

And, I'm also curious about how to get past their wall - but then I have my own wall up now too. It's very sad.

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#2236143 - 04/07/12 01:19 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Starsky309]
YankeeCandle Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 335
Starsky,

You are amazing in your advice too. You make it all sound so under control. Thanks for your perspective.

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#2236144 - 04/07/12 01:21 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: Starsky309]
YankeeCandle Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 335
Originally Posted By: Starsky309


LOVE is unconditional. RELATIONSHIPS -- especially married relationships -- are very much conditional, and there's nothing that says we have to (or even should) respond to a spouse's unfaithfulness or walk-away'dness with our unconditional love, trust and support. Our spouses begin to value us when we learn to better value ourselves -- and no sooner.


Starsky


I think I will print and put that on my wall - great reminder!!

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#2236146 - 04/07/12 01:33 PM Re: I don't love you, but we can be friends Part 2 [Re: YankeeCandle]
Starsky309 Online
Member

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 4855
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: YankeeCandle
Starsky,

You are amazing in your advice too. You make it all sound so under control. Thanks for your perspective.


Thanks, Yankee. It's always easier when you're on the outside of the turmoil, looking in. I had others provide that perspective for ME, and so now I just try to "pay it forward," as it were.


Starsky
_________________________
At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

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