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Joined: Feb 2012
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Very true. Except if I knew I was getting a divorce I would flit and go out with guys. If I'm in limbo or working on things I obviously would.not do these things.


M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..
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Posts: 283
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I'm meeting with my h tonight to discuss the possible divorce. I don't even know how to start the conversation or what I want to say or what I want to get out of this conversation. I'm not even sure now this is what I want. But he still has this non caring attitude...advice?


M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 568
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Who's idea was this hoping? If he asked for the discussion, he can start it. No pressure for you to start.

Sending you strength and thinking of you


-Autumn

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He has a "non caring" attitude....he doesn't care hope.

Please take care of yourself. You come first now.

Luv


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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It was both of our ideas.

He came over and we talked...we are filing for divorce and starting to separate things tomorrow. He said he's not happy about this but is overwhelmed by it all and that's why he's unhappy with it.

He did start to tear up during certain parts of our conversation, but I didn't buy it. I said "This is what you wanted for the past two months..isn't it?" He said "Yes, but I'm overwhelmed right now."

It feels "right" in a way but doesn't in others. I know I deserve better, but he's been a part of me for 8 years. Even as he left, he playfully tapped me with his folder and smiled. I don't understand how he can act that way...:(


M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,502
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He is conflicted, feels guilty, and doesn't want you to dislike him, but at the same time thinks he wants his space right now. In short, he is lost and reeling

Accuray


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
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My H was the same way during our talks. Cold and business like until I asked him why he hated me so much then the ice man melted and he started tearing up. He said he cared more for me than I would ever know and didn't want me to ever hate him. H is a mess. An absolute emotional mess. He needs help but won't get it. God help them when they all come to their senses.


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Posts: 283
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Yeah I will never understand how this all ended so quickly or any of his actions. He changed into a cold man that appears to hate me too!

We divided our money and got separate phone accounts. We are also looking into refinancing both of our cars to get the other person off the loan. He's already changed all passwords to things and I've retrieved my own auto insurance and homeowner's insurance.

We are supposed to meet Monday so he can quitdeed the house to me...then I will need to refinance that into my own loan.

It just hurts so much that I will never have a close relationship with this man that I was so close with just a few short months ago. I just don't understand how it all happens...


M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs
Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!)
EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12
H introduces OW to his fam: June
H moves ALL stuff out: July

I'm living my truth without your lies..
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 623
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Is this what you want? I mean, are you feeling like this is the direction it needs to go?


Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.


Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,502
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It's not that you will never have a close relationship with him, you just can't have one right now. Be careful of catastrophic thinking -- it's a natural tendency when we face loss. Things absolutely will get better for you with or without H. Did you talk to a lawyer to ensure you're protected in this settlement you're putting together? You don't necessarily have to retain one to represent you, but I would at least explain what you're planning and get an opinion.

Hang in there, we are here for you.

Accuray


Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015
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