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Exactly! That is so funny, I was thinking I'd have to go buy those slider things!

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I found some that you stick to the furniture but I am looking do something just to move it around once. I have a plan.. Just need to execute it. smile


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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Let me know how you do! In case I don't post have a really great trip. I don't imagine you will posting on your trip, well maybe you will. Anyway, have fun!

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i am posting on my trip. gotta love free wifi. and i can hear the ocean just outside. i love it.. but am frightened by it as well. never felt that way before but with the recent tsunamis over the years... needless to say, i have the evacuation plan right where i can grab it. will be putting my phone and keys there too. paranoid much?? i think it's because of the kids.

i thought of you when i drove by the birch bay area. i've never actually been and it's just across the border! that might be a nice day trip w/ the kids?

there were actually a couple of moments when i thought of you. my most prominent thought was.. what is it you want? i don't mean that in a "what's your plan?" sort of way. i was just wondering.

i reread your original post and was reminded of your "bomb". it seemed pretty clear that you were hoping to R? is that still the case? or are you just trying to sort your feelings out? (because that's totally ok too!).

i'm not asking because i want to give advice or anything. i just want to know where you're at. i feel a kinship us being westcoast girls!

(((( ))))


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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OP Offline
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Hi, so surprised to hear from you! I get the tsunamis thing. Birch Bay is so shallow and we are blocked by Vancouver Island. Plus we are up high enough, did check with realtor before we bought. I thought of you driving by Birch Bay too!

My plan is to go along with this because I can't control h. This is going forward whether I like it or not. I did set up an appt. for an attorney to go over everything before final.

My plan for me is to get on with my life, be a better me, and maintain a friendship with h. Going to keep db'ing for me, maybe in 17 months (17 years m.) if we have enough contact, maybe he will see the woman he fell in love with. If not, I will be ok. Right now just the process of db gives me hope while dealing with this horrible new thing I'm going through.

I certainly feel a kinship with you as well! I won't be in Birch Bay much longer. But I will be moving to B'ham, by Whatcom CC. Maybe I'll find a fun cont. ed class! After I turn 60 I can audit classes at WWU for $10 a credit. Love art history.

So that's pretty much where I'm at. H. done, but I'm not, yet.
Have a great time, weather is looking up. Really glad you have wifi!

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Well, here at the 2 and half month since this started. I have to admit it's better than in the beginning. Where every day you wake up in disbelief and shock. It's now just something to be dealt with. I try to anticipate now. I know when I see him it will tailspin me. Haven't seen him much. Also phone calls, always about practical d. stuff, but usually some communication about what's going on in our lives. That throws me. It''s almost better when no contact.

That doesn't mean that I only got about 4 hours sleep last nite, woke up obsessing w thought of him. Finally got up and did errands. But then driving by all the places we used to go, resturants, etc. I feel the pain and then go well that's going to happen and try to put out of my head. It's like constantly being tested. And then you have to make it pass. I think once I get out of our house and neighborhood it will be better. I look forward to the day when I am in my own place, all settled in, all the moving crap and the list of 40 things I have to do is done, the papers are signed I can really move forward and get on really to me.

I'm by no means done with this m. He may be, but I'm not. I will decide. I wonder how he is going to feel when he moves back into our home, with all of me erased? We did have some good times here. I know, I live with the memory of them every day.

Starting to pack up. What a pain. But it is busywork. NOt looking forward to when he has to be here to divide up mutual stuff, like kitchen. Oh well, get thru another day.

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Starting to see the beautiful yard and landscape we planned together coming to life. It's sort of heartbreaking. We also maintained a very bird friendly back yard. They were our "pets". I mean birdseed aint cheap. My new place I won't be able to have bird feeders. Too messy for people below me. Maybe just a hummingbird feeder. Another hurt to the heart. Plus as weather gets better, we always used to have deck time. Just enjoying the view and music and being together. Man, how did this go from that to this? Well can't dwell, or it will drive me crazy. These are the thoughts that keep me from sleeping and eating. Ok, so back into disbelief mode. Stop sign and feel sad. Know I have to "feel" the sad or I may never feel good again. It's just amazing to me that he was such a good actor, never saw it coming. I mean 2 weeks before bomb he was checking into hotel prices in Seattle, so maybe we could stay on a future visit. So confusing.

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Well h. emailed today that he needs to come over friday and possible sat. to do some yard work, and do some work on my computer. Going to make sure I clear history and don't have this website up! After getting email, it did put me into dread mode. Because I know how I feel after he leaves. Plus 2 days in a row, acting as if. Plus getting into discussion about seperation of stuff. Yuck! But if I prepare for the visit and remember how I usually feel, it won't be too bad. He's doing yard work, because we are FINALLY getting some good weather! Right Barely?

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yes! i thought of you again when i drove by birch bay on my way home. also thought.. wouldn't it be fun to go to one of the casinos as a GAL activity? i hear they're supposed to be fun. i will let you know!

so if H is coming over.. that will be a good time to show him what he'll be missing. 180's? i have a hard time w/ this at the moment so i just hide. lol. and you will look beautiful because i know you are.

you can't imagine how happy i was to see the lights on the bc mountains and know that i was so close to home. dreaded seeing H but, wanted the comfort of home. tomorrow.. i'm looking for those furniture sliding things. i need to start doing the things i planned on doing. time's a wasting! lol.


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
Hi glad you are home safe! Yes I am looking good. It's funny my h is a pretty good black jack player. Me can't do the math. 180, to be cheerful, not depressed and I don't know what! So nervewracking. I wanted to check in b4 he got here, hoping for a kind word. Thank you so much. Be checking in after he leaves.

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