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#2231402 - 03/17/12 05:43 AM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: barely floating]
Cadet Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 5111
Originally Posted By: barely floating
great. now we have flying monkeys.
If you follow the YELLOW BRICK ROAD then you get to see FLYING MONKEYS
and eventually there will be a man behind the curtain - OH NO wait that is MACH. smile smile smile
_________________________
Me-60, D27,S26

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#2231450 - 03/17/12 03:53 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Cadet]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
What's all this talk about Monkey's?

I guess my Thunder Lizard thing never caught on for ya Rick. Thought since you are the big Godzilla fan and all?

Rick, you are beyond a doubt one of the best guys I have ever come across. One rightous dude!
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2231452 - 03/17/12 03:57 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Cadet Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 5111
Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
What's all this talk about Monkey's?

I guess my Thunder Lizard thing never caught on for ya Rick. Thought since you are the big Godzilla fan and all?

Rick, you are beyond a doubt one of the best guys I have ever come across. One rightous dude!


I told you FLYING MONKEES would show up ^^^^^^ smile smile smile
_________________________
Me-60, D27,S26

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#2231455 - 03/17/12 04:15 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Cadet]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 753
let's hope the man behind the curtain is wearing more than just a speedo!
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2231456 - 03/17/12 04:17 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Cadet]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
W told me today she is going back on meds. She had decided on her own to go off them and its been crazier than usual as a result. Apparently the psychiatrist found out and said...don't do that!

I'm doing my best to help her find her way out of this trap. She talks to me all the time and whenever she does it is any number of different topics and times in her life. And the emotions are all over the place in any conversation.

I think what's gonna happen is she is very close to the edge of disaster and is desperately purging whatever is in her to find answers. In a way I am acting as a kind of unofficial psychiatrist to her (god help her!). I have found that what seems to work is if I let her let it all out and wait a day or two to respond...something might stick every now and then. Instead of me answering her questions saying something like...okay I see what you mean...have you thought about this or that? Instead, I say it more in general terms about people in those types of situations and then say what I think might help them. A tiny difference but it seems to take the defensiveness and running away out of her.

These marathon session go on until one or both of us drop from exhaustion. The weird thing is she never ever asks me anything about my life. It's just so weird, like I could be into anything at all and she wouldn't know anything about me.

I am seeing some ways to help her break out her fears and take a leap into doing something where she feels she is getting some answers and meaning in her life. I want her to make it through this for her, live, succeed, find her place on earth and in spirit.

I see her having a massive journey ahead of her. She's trying at getting over all this trauma and then has to catch up in emotional development from childhhod to now. I can't see it happening any other way than by going out on her own and getting through all of this.

For me, I see that and also live with the consequences of her lifestyle choices that are going on. That's why I moved forward to protect the rest of us. Maybe some day she will be through this and she will feel at ease with herself.

For now she is looking east for something unknown to her, and i am looking west knowing how I want to live. Is where I am the infamous ILYBIMILWU or however the hell you spell it? I do know I will always want the best for her, and every bit of work I am doing with her in this nowadays is for her only. The former thought patterns of how everything related back to saving our M is gone.

When she is talking and there's a lot of her talking and me listening I find myself thinking of how she has no idea that I will do anything for her to find a way out of this for her, she keeps talking and asking and I'll help her. I am very protective of her. I also keep thinking of how far I have pulled away. I keep looking at her while she talks and I keep sending out internal signals to find the passionate love I had for her...no response. Today, she was talking and I was forcing myself to look at her physically which is tough because I think of her in an A and get totally turned off, but nonetheless I gave it the old college try to see if there was any turn-on factor left for her. I never would have thought it possible but there really isn't. Just nothing.

Feeling pretty good about all else though - sons. my life as an individual, future R, career. I haven't forgotten what a tragedy this is, but working on rebuilding from ground zero.

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#2231465 - 03/17/12 05:12 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: Grmpy_Mnky
What's all this talk about Monkey's?

I guess my Thunder Lizard thing never caught on for ya Rick. Thought since you are the big Godzilla fan and all?

Rick, you are beyond a doubt one of the best guys I have ever come across. One rightous dude!


Oh I get The Thunder Lizard. I guess no one else did!

Thanks for ther thoughts Ray!

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#2231466 - 03/17/12 05:12 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: barely floating]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: barely floating
let's hope the man behind the curtain is wearing more than just a speedo!


Without a doubt will be wearing a speedo

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#2231467 - 03/17/12 05:17 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2514
Loc: Piney Land
What up thunder lizard ? Gonna watch the quiet man tonite? U know the one with John Wayne and Maureen Ohara.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2231469 - 03/17/12 05:20 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Hey Ray...being an absolute lightweight with alcohol...way out of training on this...I will manage to down one green beer in one gulp in your honor tonight!

Let's see if I can do one for each of you guys. Debauchery as a GAL moment tonight! Time to let the demons out.

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#2231480 - 03/17/12 06:40 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Rick1963]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: Rick1963
What up thunder lizard ? Gonna watch the quiet man tonite? U know the one with John Wayne and Maureen Ohara.


Great movie! Have fun!

I'm just about at The Lucky Dog in South Boston to see the wee Irish people!

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