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#2230124 - 03/13/12 09:03 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: kat727]
antlers Offline
Member

Registered: 03/28/09
Posts: 3041
Originally Posted By: kat727
Do they understand that if you aren't in a solid place, feeling comfortable alone in your own skin that you are not in a place to be with someone else?

^^^^^^^
That's exactly what I meant when I said what I did.
_________________________
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.

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#2230126 - 03/13/12 09:12 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: antlers]
gabbysmom23 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/31/08
Posts: 5496
Loc: NJ
Me too!

You never did address the point (of course you don't have to) of needing someone else to not care if your exW has a boyfriend. Do you think there is a healthy foundation for an R there?

Yes, we know you will rest when your dead. But what is the point of doing things you are clearly not ready for? It's an emotional slow down, not a physical one. If your not in the right place, your quality of women will go down, you will have relationships that can not be sustained because you or the one you are attracting are not emotionally ready and you will be back to square one anyways. So why not take that time to like life without a woman? It is possible.... and if it isn't possible, there may be some thing you might want to evaluate.

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#2230154 - 03/13/12 10:38 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: gabbysmom23]
ClingingToHope Offline
Member

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 3068
Loc: Illinois, United States
Gineen, I don't think I'll ever not care. The only that will help with that will be time.

As far as dating, it's like riding a bike. If you fear getting hurt or don't feel "ready" you'll never get on the bike.

Again, I've been out on exactly -- I counted it up -- 11 dates in three years. And you guys want me to slow down? I might as well move to Alaska and hunt elk.
_________________________
Me: 45, Ds 15-11, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6

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#2230156 - 03/13/12 10:45 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: ClingingToHope]
ClingingToHope Offline
Member

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 3068
Loc: Illinois, United States
As far as the point about all the posts being about XW. I don't think that's true, but there's no reason to argue. They have been lately because I went through a shock. When things are going well I drift away from the boards. When I'm processing something I come back here to record it for some future date.
_________________________
Me: 45, Ds 15-11, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6

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#2230238 - 03/13/12 02:54 PM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: ClingingToHope]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 7919
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: ClingingToHope
Again, I've been out on exactly -- I counted it up -- 11 dates in three years. And you guys want me to slow down? I might as well move to Alaska and hunt elk.


Hey, SDA Lady's sister lives in Alaska. She could set you up with a job at the local McDonald's ...no Quarter Elk burgers with cheese, I don't think so anyway.
Hey, it's good to think about what you'd like in a partner but it's also good to realize that you can be alone and be OK. Slow and steady, less thought about filling the void with another and more thought to being you and loving it. Hang in there, my man!
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2230383 - 03/14/12 12:05 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: whatisis]
ClingingToHope Offline
Member

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 3068
Loc: Illinois, United States
Had a fun night. Two teams from my area were playing in my old college town for a chance at the state tournament. So a coworker and I went down. One lousy game. One great game and it was like a YMCA basketball reunion. I ran into at least 50 guys I've played with or against over the past 30 years.

That should make me feel old. Instead, I feel pretty young.
_________________________
Me: 45, Ds 15-11, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6

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#2230431 - 03/14/12 09:42 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: ClingingToHope]
whatisis Offline
Member

Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 7919
Loc: Canada
Sounds like a great time, young fella lol!
_________________________
Divorced February 27, 2012.

Hope is not about moving mountains but about moving loose rocks one at a time ~ Fredrike Bannink

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#2231057 - 03/16/12 12:03 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: whatisis]
ClingingToHope Offline
Member

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 3068
Loc: Illinois, United States
IEP meeting tomorrow morning with XW. I think things are going pretty well with D9. She may always be a square peg that won't fit in a round hole. My concerns are for future years. She's getting all A's and B's so this year has gone well after a very rough start.

I bought a big wiffle ball bat and D9 keeps asking to bat. This one is thick so it's easy to hit with. She's always been very athletic, but she gets distracted easily and she gives up if she doesn't have instant success. So this is just for fun. The weather has been just beautiful the last two days and we've already gone bike riding, visited the beach. I'm really looking forward to summer.

Emailed the running race company today, hopefully finding out whether or not I'll be working March 23-24. If we're in, I'm going to have a very good year financially. If not, well, it'll be a bit of a struggle.

It [censored] having to go season by season, but that's the hand I've been dealt.

Still struggling with worry. Haven't been able to slow down my brain. Trying to sing along in the car to focus myself.
_________________________
Me: 45, Ds 15-11, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6

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#2231059 - 03/16/12 12:13 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: ClingingToHope]
antlers Offline
Member

Registered: 03/28/09
Posts: 3041
It's great that things are going good with your daughter and you. That's a blessing. You must be doing something right when it comes to her. Keep it up.
Continue to detach from your XW.
It's really a strength to value and respect ourselves enough.....to let go of people who don't value or respect us.
_________________________
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.

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#2231063 - 03/16/12 12:19 AM Re: Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time [Re: antlers]
oldtimer Offline
Member

Registered: 02/03/06
Posts: 4474
CTH,

WTF would you consider doing bankruptcy without including the bad house debt????

That's kind of insane, and I'm not at all sure it is legal/possible.

In any case, you should absolutely, under ZERO conditions, sacrifice your future financial stability for XW. Do not.
_________________________
Best,
Oldtimer

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