A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out. Go to the new Divorce Busting® Store where you can sign up for Divorce Busting® Coaching and purchase Michele's Audios, Videos and eBooks that you can immediately download. Start taking the steps that will help you get your marriage back on track right away.

Please consider this OnLine Community as 'Read Only' for now. We are making some changes behind the scenes, and will let you know right away when everything is back up and running properly. Please do not register as a new user, nor post during this time. Although it may seem like things are working properly, please note that any changes or new posts that happen during this transition period will not be retained once we have completed our maintenance and changes, and are back up and running again. We are working to make this transaction period as short as possible. We are aiming for 24 hours, but it could be anywhere from 24 - 48 hours. Thank you.
Page 9 of 15 < 1 2 ... 7 8 9 10 11 ... 14 15 >
Topic Options
#2229881 - 03/12/12 03:12 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
So this morning I emailed the W asking her if she wanted to get together with me a couple mutual friends this Wed. for dinner.

W: No, but thanks. Have fun.

Hmmm. Not a big deal I know, escpecailly when compared to the intensity of several of the sitches around here. I think I am going to go ahead and ask her to sign the D papers this week and file. I miss her a bit less every day. I still love here and would love for things to work out, but it is no longer a "need."
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2229932 - 03/12/12 05:02 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8687
Loc: Sonoran Desert
It is a big deal, and I know it hurts.

Was this your line in the sand?

Why now, why today?

How will this change your life from today forward?
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

Top
#2229942 - 03/12/12 05:30 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: labug]
Crazyville Offline
Member

Registered: 01/07/12
Posts: 1047
Quote:
I think I am going to go ahead and ask her to sign the D papers this week and file.
Yes, why? Strategic or resignation? I completely get how difficult it is to live in limbo, especially when the life you have to live would look very different if M'd or not.
_________________________
Me:49 WAW H:59
T:19.5 M:19
S:13

Top
#2229957 - 03/12/12 06:56 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: Crazyville]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Just returned from a visit to the house to grab more of my stuff. Wife is not there on Mondays but today she was. I was very polite to her and apologized for not giving her notice of my visit. A couple minutes in, out of the blue she goes on the attack. What the Eff?!! I kept my cool as she proceeded to blame me for every bad thing in her life over the past decade. Told her “I’m sorry you feel that way.” She kept on going with some very hurtful stuff. Can she sense that I’m ready for this to be over?

Again I told her that I am grateful for the time we had and I wish thing could have turned out differently. I told her that life is good and I never want to go back to the unhealthy relationship we had. Then she gets extra nasty – it’s my entire fault. She can’t believe she fell for me years ago. Again sorry you feel that way. The whole time she is doing this, she has her arms crossed and is looking at the floor. I tell her I am sorry she is in such a bad place right now. She looses her [censored] and screams at me that she is happy. Me: sorry, you don’t look happy. She gets quite so I approach her to tell her something and she recoils in terror and disgust. I immediately back away and leave.

I am not a bad person. I am smart and funny and most people that meet me like me. I refuse to believe that I am the cause of her issues.

45 min drive home – have not cried like this since the bomb..

I AM SO DONE WITH THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2229958 - 03/12/12 06:56 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: labug]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
Why now, why today?

Why not now? Why not today? I'm done...
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

Top
#2229961 - 03/12/12 07:06 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8687
Loc: Sonoran Desert
OK
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

Top
#2229965 - 03/12/12 07:35 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: labug]
mr mr Offline
Member

Registered: 01/05/12
Posts: 201
Loc: Wisconsin
If you are done and it is for you then I am here to support the next steps. If it's not for you then I am here to call you on it. If you change your mind tomorrow then I am still here to support the next steps. So basically we're all here for you no matter what you decide.
_________________________
Michael

Me:46 /W:37
M:13 /T:16
D's:19,18,17,6
S:10
W filed 8/15/11
Court 9/21/12

Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

Top
#2230005 - 03/12/12 10:05 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: mr mr]
purgatory Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
We've always said that it's not over till YOU say it's over... if today is that day for you- then so be it!

Do you want to celebrate? Throw a fit? Cry all night?
Whatever you need to do, I'll come along with ya! I'll either bring the drinks or the tissues- just let me know smile
_________________________
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

Top
#2230007 - 03/12/12 10:12 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: mr mr]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2533
Loc: Piney Land
That was me two months ago. I was sooooo done. Had it, missed being hugged and touched...... Loved. But I got back to dbing even if my sitch looks more hopeless than most. My W seems so at peace with her decision to D me. And we have yet to set foot in court after almost a year. Talk about limbo? We should have been divorced by now. She was gone last July. But all kinds of stuff happened none of my doing that delayed it. Still in denial. When I'm not I get angry and frustrated. Sad too. So it is a process and it is Ok to feel that you are done. You may very well be or after a few days change your mind. We will be here for you either way. But if you still have an inch of belief to reconcile than maybe you are not done yet. So like Bugsy said, wait.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






Top
#2230012 - 03/12/12 10:24 PM Re: Wife in the slightly slower "Amtrack D mode" now.. [Re: Rick1963]
ces67 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/23/11
Posts: 1024
or maybe you should just take this moment of high stress and emotion to sell all your possessions, buy a boat and sail around the world..............nahh. just kidding.

the kicks in the gut keep on hurting. Sounds like you handled it with great integrity. You should be proud of yourself for that.
_________________________
Me:45, W:44
S:15, D:12
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
2 attempts at MC-stopped 09/13
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms

Top
Page 9 of 15 < 1 2 ... 7 8 9 10 11 ... 14 15 >


Moderator:  dbmod, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004