Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 10 of 12 1 2 8 9 10 11 12
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
I don't think I did. It doesn't change the fact that I have a ton of work to do. It doesn't change my relationship with the kids.


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Did you have an expectation?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
No. There is so much that has to be done.


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
Saturday started a little tense, but after she came home from working out things seemed to be ok. We had a number of errands to run before my sons end of year hockey party. That was the first time me and the W have done that in years.

Party was ok and the W's sister came over (not a personal favorite over the years), but I know that she is one of W favorite people so I have made beng nicer to her sister a 180. Talked with her the duration of the visit. Saturday night was the father/daughter dance at school. D6 danced with me for 2 hours. W was in good spirits when we got home.

This morning took the kids to a park and W helped me clean the house. Conversation has been light, but with the nice weather have been able to get some yard work done. W car was a mess so I decided to clean it.


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
This weekend was pretty good and the first one where wife did not leave with the kids. While I continue to do the bulk of the chores around the house W made an effort to help as well. Spent a lot of time alone with D6 which was nice. W seems to get really irritated with her.

W seems to come and go emotionally, but realize that this is her problem, I am trying to be steady throughout. When W ster was over I overheard her say hat she is very confused.

Does anybody else get worked up after looking at this site?


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
But what are you doing for YOU?

And how much of what you are doing is to get some reaction from your W? I'm not saying don't do them but do them without expectations.

About cleaning her car...did she ask you to clean it? It always bugged H that my car was messy inside-he called it my rolling purse. But it was MY car and that was MY stuff. I might have seen his cleaning it, without asking me first, as intrusive and controlling.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
LABug,

For me I continue to spend more time with the kids. With the exception of being decent to her sister the things I am doing are helping me have a better relationship with my children. At this point I have no expectation that anyting I am doing will have any affect on my W.

I would always b***h about the house not being clean. If I see something that bothers me I am now taken care of it without a fuss and without any commotion. I am finding that just doing things without b**ching about it is so much easier.

W asked me if I wouldn't mind cleaning her car out since I was in the middle of cleaning mine Sunday. Said no problem. Would not have done it without asking since the car is her space.


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Good about the car smile

I see you're doing things but are these things what makes you, you.

What do you like to do for fun? Have you been doing any of these things?

I doubt that your housecleaning skills are what attracted W to you.

What are some of the things you used to do?


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
Labug,

I like to workout a lot, but have been slacking recently. I really don't do a ton of "me" things. Try doing things that I enjoy like spending time in the outdoors with the kids.

I need to start finding more GAL things. Guess I have been concentrating on my 180's.

SIW


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 290
Stupid Question, but I do not know where to turn on this one. We planned on taking the kids to Disney World over Spring Break. Tickets have been bought and W still wants to go. I don't want to break my kids' hearts.

If I knew where the W and I stood it would not be so awkward. By then it would be two months after she dropped the bomb. Hardly enough time for the DB to work.


M:39
W:38
S:12
D:8
Page 10 of 12 1 2 8 9 10 11 12

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard