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labug #2226699 03/02/12 03:09 PM
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Originally Posted By: labug
cat, here's the funny part...I found out last night, he is staying with his 85 year old mother. She's a lovely woman but she drives him crazy. I'm sure that situation won;t last much longer.

Thanks everyone for the strength, I'm feeling better today. It's his to deal with and he very clearly didn't ask for my help. bf, keep the wc at the ready, you never know.

Here's a side note. I wasn't always the most loving caretaker to H because "that's my day job" and to come home and have him prostrate from a cold or some minor thing used to irritate the crap out of me. I never got that at home either, my brothers and I have joked that we needed a death certificate to be able to stay home from school.

Lots to think about.


labug - Same here! If I hadn't passed out, my mother would have sent me to school once with scarletina (scarlet fever). LOL

That's why I worked hard to be Nurse Betty while H has been sick. Normally, it gets on my nerves when he's all whiny, sniff, sniff - but this time I did what I could to make him comfortable. He told me he appreciated it.

You're doing the right thing by not offering your help. Trust me, he's probably wishing you were there if his mother is getting on his nerves. LOL


Me:37
H:GONE

Happy and loving life.
RoRoinMD #2226713 03/02/12 03:32 PM
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(((bug)))


Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


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OK Team,

H just called here to talk to S19, who was still in bed. He was up late last night because he took H in for the surgery, sat all day and then got him to MIL's house and picked up prescriptions, etc. He is a bit depressed and having a hard time processing the separation, and now being the go to guy for Dad. I told him last night how proud I was of him for stepping in and being there for H.

Anyway he had a hard time getting to sleep last night, I sat up with him and we talked until I fell asleep at around 11.

Anyway H calls (he never calls here) he sounds like crap and a little groggy from pain meds. He was displeased that S19 was still in bed and that he couldn't find some instructions the doctor gave him yesterday (it was always my role to take care of all that in the past) I just answered his questions about S19 and said nothing else. Handed the phone to S19 and walked out of the room.

Turns out the written instructions were with H, right where S19 left them. smile

And you know what, my mood did not change.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2227275 03/04/12 03:53 AM
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Good job bugsy!

rickb89 #2227277 03/04/12 03:56 AM
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It's sad that a grown man has to depend on his 19 year old to take care of his emotional needs and apparently his medical needs as well. It's good that you are there for S19 to support him through this. I don't think any 19 year old would put up with that kid of behavior for very long- I mean, this is *their* turn to grown up and learn.

Good for you for walking out of the room!


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12
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Hey Labug!

Progress is a wonderful thing,

Sounds like plenty for you lately.

I am going to look for Perma's tapes, too.

Aloha,

Wendy

PS Go to yoga!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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Hey Wendy, I miss you being over here! I'll have to travel over to MLC land to catch up on you.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2227411 03/04/12 07:17 PM
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Nicely done bug!


Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


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What's new bug? Any good stories to share? See any hampsters lately?

xoxo

rickb89 #2227929 03/06/12 02:49 AM
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labug Offline OP
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Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!

I was joking with kolja today that this was how I would start updating my thread. Some of you may remember the repeating Chevy Chase SNL Weekend Update sketch with that line. This was funny after weeks (maybe months) of hearing constant updates about Franco as he "clung to life" or "doctors have given up hope" over and over and over again.

So when he actually died, SNL kept updating that he was still dead. Anyway, H and I found it very funny and used the line many times to indicate that something hadn't changed.

Actually H did call the house again yesterday, wanting to speak with S19. It was a fine conversation, all of about 3 minutes. He was a little perturbed that S was "late" to pick him up although it seems there wasn't a predetermined time.

Now H is the kind of guy that is never late for work but everything else he does on his own time. "They'll wait."

I, of course, had to be everywhere 15 minutes early so as not to be late. My control freak friends here can relate, I'm sure. Needless to say we had difficulties around this subject.

It was amusing to hear him distressed that S19 was being a bit of a chip off the old block. But I only listened, offered no suggestions, didn't try to fix and let his problem be his problem.

He did move back to his place today, so he's no longer under the loving care of his Mom. I'm sure he was about to go batty because as I said before, she's a lovely woman but is at that stage where she repeats everything, over and over.

As he can't work and can't drive and is now alone, he's having lots of time to reflect and perfect his deep, deep, deep dark technique.

Yes, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still Dead!


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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