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A Message from Michele
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#2236512 - 04/09/12 02:43 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
labug Offline

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 9676
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Yes, Rick, yes!
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss

#2236513 - 04/09/12 02:44 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: 2thepoint]
rickb89 Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: 2thepoint
Hey Rick! Hope today is going to be good for you!

It will be T2! You too!

#2236517 - 04/09/12 02:49 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: sayitaintso]
rickb89 Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: sayitaintso
Originally Posted By: nhmom
I hope many people on the board can learn a thing or two from you.

You are so right that the best thing you can get out of of DB'ing is taking control of your own life, because that really is the only thing that we can control.

(((Rick))) You're a true inspiration...we'll be right here with you as you continue on your journey.

Rick- I think I have learned more from you and your thoughts than anyone else on the boards and I just want to say thank you again!

Agree wholeheartedly Nhmom. This is the most in control of my life that I've ever been.

And I too will be right here with you Rick, supporting you during the tough times and celebrating all the good the universe has coming towards you!

Thanks Say! Hope your sitch turns out better! The part about the actual moving apart hasn't happened yet. That's going to be a first for me in my life, although I did live it when my parents split up. It creeps me out...the thought about when we actually split things up and all that. i know its necessary though, and actually see that home life can move forward to this new world.

#2236518 - 04/09/12 02:52 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
jks Offline

Registered: 03/08/12
Posts: 623
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: rickb89

As for her being able to give to others. In fact, her history is of giving and that is also a reason she's done such a 180. Her being a stay at home Mom for years and then her career in the alzheimer's world has all been about giving. So her dilemma has been that she gave and gave on the surface but never knew what she was herself. She's basically trying to unwire a lifetime of mental conflict, and then seeing if she can rewire herself back up somehow.

Thanks for reaching out!

Oddly enough, my H seemed to have come to this same conclusion to some point when he first left me. He stated that he has always loved helping others and loved doing things for me but throughout it all he felt like he lost himself. And he now needed to start doing things for himself. Hence the reason for his PA.

I am sorry that she is struggling so much right now. You seem to be handling things very well regardless.
Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.

#2236524 - 04/09/12 03:07 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: jks]
rickb89 Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
JKS - thanks for sharing. It took me a year of torture to get some clarity!

Sad how a PA seems to be the answer for so many?

#2236529 - 04/09/12 03:25 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
RoRoinMD Offline

Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 871
Hey Rick! Just catching up on your thread. You are doing SO great. I admire how you're still there for your wife, even while trying to move ahead on your own path. I know it's not easy.

Happy and loving life.

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