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Autumn -

Glad you made it through the weekend. The wedding must have been very difficult to sit through, especially the vows part. Sometimes I feel that it's so hard to be happy for someone when you're not doing well yourself.

There is a German proverb that is similar to: "A fault confessed is half redressed."

You're a few steps ahead than many people on this board in that he's not blaming YOU, he's admitting to his wrongdoing, and he's showing signs of remorse. He says that he needs help, but what is he going to do about? Actions speak louder than words. I think you should consider Starsy's suggestions above.

Hang in there, Autumn. You're not alone.


Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11


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Glad you're getting away.

Long walks along the shore and enjoying the beauty of things that are permanent, the ocean, the shore, the birds, I think are always helpful in putting out issues in perspective.

Have you ever read A Year by the Sea? Might not be the right thing for this trip but sometime later you might appreciate it.

Take care.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Originally Posted By: Autumn Leaves


I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth right now.


This ^ is wise.

It won't always be this way, but for now . . . this is wise.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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It is what is keeping me sane Starksy smile

I am bringing my laptop with me, so I will be checking in here for sure.

Thanks labug, I haven't read that and will have to look for it soon. I am taking a book with me in case I can't sleep well, don't want to keep anyone else up smile Just something light and upbeat.

I just talked to my insurance provider and narrowing down a doctor. Will make an appt today and get the authorization I need ASAP. Time to take my life back!!


-Autumn

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Originally Posted By: Autumn Leaves


I do plan to go DARK while at my fathers. I can call each of my boys on their own cell phones, never a need to call the house at all.


I would suggest proactively sending him a short e-mail stating what I said above, almost word-for-word. It lets him know that you are seeking advice, and "not sure what you're going to do," and the wording is designed to throw him off-center.

You should also ask him to respect your privacy at this time, and NOT badger him, and since you've set up a way for the boys to be able to reach you, there should be no reason for him to.

Short, business-like, civil. Don't convey "wounded" or "hurt" or -- god forbid -- anything mushy.

In my opinion, he needs to begin to feel that he may have lost you.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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