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A Message from Michele
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#2229249 - 03/09/12 09:09 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
labug Offline

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 9676
Loc: Sonoran Desert
But you are stronger now. Use the skills you have learned to focus on you and your kids. Gain strength from wherever you can.
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss

#2229258 - 03/09/12 09:38 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
I don't understand how someone can lie straight to my face like that and be convincing.

I am such an idiot.

So not true! You love the guy. Based on all the information and interaction you had, you made the right choices. Now things are changing. Keep going and keep doing things for you. Its going to be alright - but you already know this.. wink
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Life goes on: 6/13

Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

#2229260 - 03/09/12 09:45 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Cadet Offline


Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 12156
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: Autumn Leaves

Please be gentle with the 2x4, I am really in a fragile state at the moment. I can't stop shaking and feel like I am going to be sick.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal for getting hit by a truck.

The best thing to do is to get out of the road, dragging yourself along the pavement, so no more trucks can hit you.

Sorry this is hard stuff.
I wish I had a way to make it better.
But the best I can offer is a ((((HUG)))).

Please be gentle to yourself and just work on simple things to take care of yourself.

Eat , Sleep and breathe.

The rest you can put off for another day.

Me-64, D31,S30

#2229264 - 03/09/12 10:01 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Starsky309 Offline

Registered: 10/11/10
Posts: 6810
Loc: Florida

I'm so sorry . . . I was afraid of this. Try not to make ANY decisions (and CERTAINLY no ultimatums, one way or another!) this weekend. It's going to be difficult, but do you think you can fake it until you've had a chance to do some decision-making?

Try to hang in there. It sounds stupid, but MAKE SURE YOU EAT (you won't want to). Breathe. Go out with a friend. And, if you're so inclined . . . PRAY.

It all helps.

I'm sorry.

M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)

#2229271 - 03/09/12 10:32 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Starsky309]
gr8 day 2B alive Offline

Registered: 11/03/09
Posts: 1544
Loc: Philly Burbs

If trying to save your M and build trust with your H make you an idiot, then this whole forum is full of idiots.

This will be a hard weekend for certain. Don't make any decisions based on emotion.

Get some exercise along with a healthy diet.

Eat, pray and (self) love for now.

Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."

#2229272 - 03/09/12 10:37 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Starsky309]
Fergie Offline

Registered: 03/20/10
Posts: 309

I really need to go back and read your situation, but I know Mindfull has been giving you some advice.

Just know many of us have been where you are now, and we survived, if not thrived once past the lowest of the low.

She has been in a very similar situation, so her advice is sound.

Just know that this isn't the end. This will pass.

Hang in there.


#2229274 - 03/09/12 10:44 PM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Fergie]
mishka422 Offline

Registered: 12/12/07
Posts: 9762
Loc: GA
Peace and hugs to you. I have nothing more in the way of advice to offer than anyone just gave you. I will suggest that you do as everyone said and pull yourself through this weekend. Give yourself time to absorb the shock and think before you act.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010 say the least!!!

#2229303 - 03/10/12 12:52 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Autumn Leaves]
Dr LOve Offline

Registered: 05/03/07
Posts: 5927
Loc: calif

It has been a loooooooooooooooog time since I visited this board. But someone said I should come here and look ya up.

If I still have a thread here I was/ am Dr. Love...
You are NOT an Idiot. Trust is hard to come by.
I don't know your whole sitch, was there an Affair?
"I don't know if he has done anything just yet but some very ugly information was just dropped in my lap. He is trying to start something up with someone, and I saw the written proof."

Are you sure of this information?
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know

#2229315 - 03/10/12 02:07 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: Dr LOve]
nhmom Offline

Registered: 12/20/11
Posts: 345
Autumn -

So sorry you're getting hit with the new information. You didn't mention where you got it.

You are NOT an idiot! The way the WAS can do things and and lie straight to our faces is amazing.

Please take good care of yourself! Sleep on it, calm down, and then you can re-group and think about the next steps you'd like to take.

Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11

#2229330 - 03/10/12 03:03 AM Re: Feeling like I am changing [Re: nhmom]
mindfull Offline

Registered: 11/28/08
Posts: 3975

I'm so glad you reached out today on the alt.

We'll be in touch tomorrow.

I really hope you can hold it together this weekend. You'd be wise to not let H know what you've uncovered.

You need a plan. And, not one driven by your emotions from shock/hurt. Easy for me/us to say... Huh? During a wedding? Ugh.

Thinking of you.

You have some of the best of the best here to support you and guide...

Starsky. Gr8. And.... Of course, Ferg...!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

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