Thanks guys! Slowly getting on that board to ride the waves and enjoy each passing moment!
Today H and I had to have a talk about my potential new schedule at work. Currently H has the kids every second weekend but on my new line, that wouldn't work as I would be on shift every 3rd weekend. We were trying to figure it out and I was getting teary thinking about how I had never wanted it to get to this point... Where we would be discussing who gets what weekend.. H asked if I was ok and I just had to excuse myself for a bit.
It's not that I'm sad about my M (I mean I'm sad.. But I'm not if you know what I mean).. I'm sad for my kids. Because they can say what they want.. But ultimately.. It doesn't matter. Because it's H that made the decision for all of us.
H forgot he had the kids this weekend. I had asked him a while back about this weekend because I had to work. H had to cancel his plans. Boo hoo. He was actually very good about it. Didn't expect him to come until after S came home from school but he showed up to take him to school.
Anyway, when S came home he was all excited to show H the guitar and kindle. He asked me what's up with the guitar? Is someone wondering what I've been up too? Not pining away? Lol. That's mind reading isn't it? H pulled out my guitar and started strumming it and trying to tune it. Was tempted to say.. Hey! That's mine!!! But I held back.
It sounds like I'm having a down weekend but.. I'm really not! I'm staying at my sister's this weekend because I'll just be working and she lives very close to my workplace. So.. My GAL tonight was carrying my niece and spinning us around until we were dizzy.. And then we danced to music.. It was fun.
Lol. Working for 2 nights and then heading to the island w/ gf and her kids!! I'm really looking forward to it!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
Hey bf, sorry for the custody complications but I love that you can separate your feelings about the M and what's important for the kids.
When I'm at these difficult points it helps me to make a gratitude list of all the good things I have. I can then spend more time thinking about those rather that the negative.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Hey BF, it really is hard when we think about the impact on our kids. I think you're doing awesome by being positive with them and making great memories. That will be the biggest benefit you can give them.
Glad your H took the reminder about his weekend well. That's good for all of you!
You're right that your H made the decision about the M, but its awesome that you are still making YOUR decisions to live your life and demonstrate happiness and joy for you and your boys!
Hope you have a great weekend and fun on the island!
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
You really have such natural wisdom and a gentle soul...not to mention the fiery strength to carry on with your life and show your kiddies such a strong example of how to live.
Your H...sorry but he has made a phenomenally horrible choice...phew
So weird thing.. Last night I sent H an email with a suggestion about custody (that was based on one if his suggestions but just tweaked). I did mention it was his original idea. But, I didn't hear back. He hadn't answered my txts from the evenin either.
This afternoon I asked if he received my txt (because it was based on some finances). Still no response which is very unusual. Finally I sent a message saying I was a bit worried as I had not heard back at all. H finally sends me an email saying he was feeling low and he should have answered my txts and apologized.
Tried to flex my validating muscles. He went on to ask if I was going to see the counselor soon.. Another friendship coming to an end which is affecting him even more than the last one because he doesn't have another one to fall back on.. I held my tongue and just tried to empathize and said if he thought it would help then he should see IC. I really wanted to say.. Yes. Their lives don't centre around you.. That's why people have families and spouses who love you unconditionally!!!
He seems to be hitting a low. But I can not get dragged down into that hole. I struggled so much to keep my head above the water and now, it's up to him to do the same. I hope he finds the breaks but.. I just don't know. It makes me sad.
Work again tonight. Daylight savings means I work 1 hr less. Oh the little blessings in life. yay for my trip tomorrow!! Really looking forward to having some fun with the kids. I think the bug museum may be on the sked!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
