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#2228600 - 03/07/12 03:03 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
Harrier Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/10
Posts: 781
Loc: Connecticut
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
ps



People witnessing Crimson's journey on these threads, (and his journey is among the bravest I've seen), have learned A LOT and that has tremendous value.




I disagree. Why is he any braver than most of us here? I mean just because he was such an absent father who has "seen the light." I think it's an insult to many of the people here.

I've read all of his thread and frankly I don't see how he is that much different than a lot of guys here, except for his complete lack of being a partner to his wife.

I'm not saying he hasn't shown personal growth or had some valuable insights to himself. But the hyperbole is a little much.

Flame on.
_________________________
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
--Jean Jacques Rousseau.

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#2228617 - 03/07/12 03:32 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Harrier]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Its okay for families to argue, as well as the DB family.

Keep it in mind that we all want to help each other, and Crimson, everyone here does care greatly about you and your family.

Peace to all DB,ers!

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#2228623 - 03/07/12 03:47 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: rickb89]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1286
Thank you, RB89 - I'll use this as an opportunity to walk away from this argument without weighing in.

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#2228650 - 03/07/12 05:20 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Crimson]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
A dash of argument in a family is healthy....it facilitates growth if done in a respectful manner and with knowledge that each is looking for a solution, not to win.

Everyone on this board is so full of emotion that, well, I'm suprised there aren't more DB board battles, but then again, look at the high quality of the people here.

And hey Crimson, people have opinions, you listened, and answered in a stand up manner. DB'ing applies in all our relationships.

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#2228661 - 03/07/12 05:36 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: rickb89]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1286
So w e-mailed me in the office to ask how s did this morning. I gave her a quick update. She apologized for me having to take him an extra day - which I did not mind at all and told her as much.

She relpied later and said that "I think all the counseling and appointments have become too much for me…hopefully will taper off soon." She followed up by saying that the appointments with our MC are "exhausting". I never really picked up on the from her after the sessions at all - they seemed to go well. I feel as if this has something to do with the "break down" she had earlier this week. I will fight my natural urge to jump to conclusions - but it feels....."weird" - to say the least. I am hoping she doesn't want to eject from MC with the intent of focusing on charging forward with D.

Guess we'll see.

Crimson

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#2228682 - 03/07/12 06:25 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Crimson]
Crazyville Offline
Member

Registered: 01/07/12
Posts: 1047
What about the IC for each of you? When is that scheduled?
_________________________
Me:49 WAW H:59
T:19.5 M:19
S:13

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#2228691 - 03/07/12 06:42 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Crazyville]
2thepoint Offline
Member

Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1692
"She relpied later and said that "I think all the counseling and appointments have become too much for me…hopefully will taper off soon." She followed up by saying that the appointments with our MC are "exhausting". I never really picked up on the from her after the sessions at all - they seemed to go well."

The MC sessions are draining on your W because she is spending time processing, after the fact. If all we did was process during the session and then not reflect on what we heard or what was said or what we intended to do with the information then there would be no growth.
_________________________
Me48 W50 S15 S11
M20 T23
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife

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#2228702 - 03/07/12 07:14 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Harrier]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 10464
Loc: west coast
Originally Posted By: Harrier
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
ps



People witnessing Crimson's journey on these threads, (and his journey is among the bravest I've seen), have learned A LOT and that has tremendous value.




I disagree. Why is he any braver than most of us here? I mean just because he was such an absent father who has "seen the light." I think it's an insult to many of the people here.

I've read all of his thread and frankly I don't see how he is that much different than a lot of guys here, except for his complete lack of being a partner to his wife.

I'm not saying he hasn't shown personal growth or had some valuable insights to himself. But the hyperbole is a little much.

Flame on.


Wow I didn't see that coming. From where Crimson began, to where he is now, has been an amazing journey INWARD, with outward results as well. I'm amazed this bothers anyone.

Are you also saying no one else has learned from his journey?

I know for a fact that several others have said they are looking at his journey as a model for their own paths.

Crimson has changed himself by first looking at all of his own flaws (a feat in itself, & one that many LBSers never do)

and

so far, he really owned those flaws and he sure seems to be changing them.

It has nothing to do with other people, except that I think he has done more changing than most.

If the fact that he needed to change more, lessens him in your eyes, so be it.


I think it's another reason that most people would have looked away from their flaws instead of facing them.

As a follower of 12 step programs, I know how hard it is to take an inventory of ourselves and then to make amends.


But that's what I see Crimson doing. I meant every word I said.
I cannot see how that insults anyone.
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

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#2228704 - 03/07/12 07:18 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: 2thepoint]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 10464
Loc: west coast
Originally Posted By: 2thepoint
"She relpied later and said that "I think all the counseling and appointments have become too much for me…hopefully will taper off soon." She followed up by saying that the appointments with our MC are "exhausting". I never really picked up on the from her after the sessions at all - they seemed to go well."

The MC sessions are draining on your W because she is spending time processing, after the fact. If all we did was process during the session and then not reflect on what we heard or what was said or what we intended to do with the information then there would be no growth.


I agree with this^^ so in a way it's good.

Tread carefully and don't fix...let her be.
_________________________
m:51 H:55
M: 30 yrs
S25,D23,D15
H goes ALASKAN, solo,2005
I file Sep 2/06
Piecing 7/07
Retrovaille Weekend 8/08
M Restored 8/08

Be Happy OR be "Right"

FORGIVENESS: Your way out of hell

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#2228707 - 03/07/12 07:24 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: 25yearsmlc]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1286
Hey CV - MC for next week is stil on the calendar. My session is on the 13th and w's session is on the 14th. On the 12th we have a meeting with our reproductive endocrinologist. She has said nothing about cancelling any of them, but lord knows what can happen.

Not gonna read too much into it right now. Just giving space.

Crimson

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