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it's a good day to be me kind of day today. each day i let go that little bit more and i realize that i am really doing that because each time i take a farther step away from this stitch, it takes me one step closer to feeling my own sense of self, and opening up other possibilities

the more i relax into this situation, the more i get shown that there is so much more for me than just this.

today - a wonderful moment. one of h's friends called - that's the first time since the split. just to say hi - we had worked together in the past and for the last few weeks i've been thinking of calling him to ask if i could come work in his studio - since i don't have one and can't afford to set one up. after a bit of easy chit chat i brought it up ad he was thrilled at the idea and landed up saying how great it would be to have an artist of my caliber around (i used to be pretty good before the accidents (embarassed grin) - and i was so stunned to hear that -

i guess in that moment i realized how much of a bashing my self esteem has taken, not just with this sitch but also with what happened with the accident.

so another GAL - i am going to THINK myself worthy and good at what i do, and simply stop hesitating and being unconfident.

i have really begun to notice more and more that when i don't have any expectations, things just come to me when i need them. i am going to trust that more and more


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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having a moment of sadness- i miss the connection that H and i used to have together with s.

just talked to s on his trip and he had skyped for a long time with H, and i just felt so sad that we were connecting with s so separately now.

s kept forgetting what he had told his dad and thought he had told it to me already - and that's what made my mind go down that path


i'm telling myself that it will pass but i could sure do with a hug right now...


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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(((zig))) I know it's not the same but hop it helps. The little changes in our lives are sometimes have the most impact.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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zig Offline OP
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thanks labug smile

you're right about the little things - they hurt more than the big stuff - wonder why?

i am better now - i gave myself a hug - and realized, that i can get through this moment and get back to a good place again

it takes practice, and so i'm proud of myself for being able to do that tonight and then i know that next time i can do it again

thanks for the hug:)


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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(((zig)))

IMO, our sitch's help us see the little interactions that we may have taken for granted (at least that's what's happened for me).

Glad you were able to pull out of the negative mental path. Its a slippery slope so good job! Hope your day goes well.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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Originally Posted By: ces67
(((zig)))

IMO, our sitch's help us see the little interactions that we may have taken for granted (at least that's what's happened for me).



ces, I think that's the gist of it. There's a certain subtle rhythm, synergy, vibration to our daily family lives, and when one component is missing it's like taking notes out of a piece of music.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Zig I would love a recipe for butter chicken.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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zig Offline OP
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thanks ces-

oh yes - that being complacent and taking things for granted - really comes back to bite one in the ,,,

never want to do that again - take things for granted


and that slippery slope - it's taken me months to realize how every tiny little event has put me on it and i've just gone with it and slid right down.

i'm determined not to do that any more.

i am intending to have a good day - s comes back this afternoon, so excited to see him. hope you have a wonderful day today too

zig


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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Posts: 1,855
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zig Offline OP
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i like the way you put that - we have to make new music now -even more beautiful


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,855
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zig Offline OP
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oh shyte rick - embarassed that i don't have one on hand - will look up one of my recipe books if i have a minute today

that is yummy - haven't had it in years - but since you brought it up, maybe i have to cook some of that myself for a GAL - hardly ever cook indian food these days!!


me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"

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