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Yassu you sound great today. I would discuss the jewelry issue with your L and stop worrying. You know 24 karot gold is not usual in the US. It is a better quality gold.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Thank you Rick1963!

You know, sometimes, the doctor hits it just right! Who would have ever thought anfedimines would be useful for something? The new stuff, Adderall, is speed, but in my system, it just makes me pay better attention. Doesn't feel like speed at all. Thank you so much for responding.

The little jewelry pieces are not really worth anything. Just sentimental value, at least the coin piece his Mother gave me.

I'm prestty sure I wanna stir the soup one last time, at least with the wedding ring. I think it would make a closure statement for me. But we all know...it's a last resort technique, and it's all I got!

So good to hear from you Rick, once I'm through this paper mess, I will be able to focus elsewhere! Bless you! Yas


Married 27 Years
Together 32 Years
4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08
Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
Joined: Sep 2011
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Yasu - we've not heard from you in several weeks. How are you doing? Hope all is well.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
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Hello 2thepoint,

Good thing I checked the site today! Thank very much for noticing! I have been working dilgently on paperwork to prepare for the trial. There are so many records I have to produce.

I have a very generous person that helps me for only 12 an hour, he has saved my skin in helping me get coordinated. The new medicine I'm taking is very helpful - it does have a host of side effects.

My 12 dollar assistant is now coming over almost every morning for 1/2-1 hour to make sure I am following a normal schedule of getting up early (7:30 ugh!), taking my meds early as possible in morning, vitamins, and BREAKFAST. My assignments are posted for the day, then inspection the next morning! Oh dear, when that phone rings at 7:30, I know I have to get up and get dressed before he shows up.

My night owl days are over! I used to have the windows blacked out in the room so no light could come in. Well, the coach order me to disappear all of that, on both floors, my house is full of sunshine. The bright sun is waking my dogs and me against will.

I feel like I am productive, not like normal, but certainly better than being so overwhelmed that I accomplish nothing. Then we have a posting system on the door that shows my accomplishments. Our goal in April is for me to have the courage to attend the neighborhood bar-b-q alone later this month.

That is a huge goal for an agoraphobic! Well, that's it for now. Yasu


Married 27 Years
Together 32 Years
4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08
Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
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Yass u are a great lady. Hope u are having a good Sunday


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Hey Rick1963,

Such a nice compliment! I accept! So good to hear from you! I have to get more in touch with the site! Yas


Married 27 Years
Together 32 Years
4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08
Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 144
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Hi DB'ers!

I keep look'in in! Probably time to start a new thread, a simplified construct of the sitch, and where it stands now. For the first time, I believe I could actually narrow my story to that essence - I think it's progress! It demonstrates the whole thing is not so overwhelming now. I have picked my direction once at the fork in the road, and have been acting accordingly. I feel better these days. Hope all of you are well! I've learned so much here! Later, Yas


Married 27 Years
Together 32 Years
4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08
Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
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Hi Yas!

So great to hear from you and that you are doing well, sounds like have made great progress in the last month, Congratulations! Keep your chin up and keep up the good work! :-)


me 38
W 30
T 3
M in 05/2010
Separated 08/2011
Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8
I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5
Anxiously waiting on the judge!
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Hmmm. Hard times. My mom had perhaps the final accident - another fall in the house result in six hip and leg fractures and arm fracture. No one has wanted me there - my alchoholic brother has been in charge.

It looks pretty dire this time. I have just learned her house taxes and secondary insurance have been unpaid for some time. Brother's story keeps changing. 92 year old mom now hiding food in her mouth - slowly going downhill in nursing home.

I don't know if I should rescue brother or not - however, for the second time, I have called upon social services. First time, for caregiver neglect, now, regarding her estate, to get to the bottom of it.

To relate this to the divorce - I reached out to H for advice. Of course no response to my calls.

We were to have a trial on May 21. All my paperwork was in on time March 1. Can u believe he made excuse after excuse not to have his papers and financials on our business into us - even though it was his side that set the trial date! In December it will be four years trying to get a divorce. The cost insane. He seems to want a divorce - he certainly has access to a competent account and CPA that regularly work for the restauant - as papers, p & l's, etc., are to be in on a monthly basis with the franchise - this is a requirement that is followed.

However - we cannot seem to get him to hand over tax records for last two years, budget sheets, etc. So we can proceed with trial. Interesting.

It is not a good idea for us to put him in jail with contempt as that keeps him from running the business. At the same time - the judge wants us to work these things out - and my attorney wants us to always appear cooperative.

So, we requested a continuance, and judge ordered attorneys to agree on a date (again).

Meanwhile, why, why or why, do I see him observing me when I am out? It is not often I go anymore due to this. It was not long ago he pulled in the driveway here too one morning.

He wants nothing to do with me in all other respects from what I can decern. I have been excellent at staying away from him. I have not driven past our restaurant in over two years. My only issue is his cell phone number, when a problem or issue arises.

I would NEVER call the restaurant. No way. It is the cell phone number that is a temptation to me. Almost like it is a little door that remains open. I once sent him the money (2 years worth) to block my number, so as to prevent me from reaching out in these weak moments. He kept my money and never did it.

I even blocked my number - but it is too easy for me to unblock - and that "little door" - I keep imaging - is speaking to me. How dumb can I be after 3.5 years?!?!?!

After the way of life I've developed, I could never go back to being a normal wife again - that is for sure! I am a true artist at heart - and live like one now. No more nice nice homemade cookies around here anymore. That ain't ever gonna happen again. I'm a totally different person - more like myself than in thirty years. It would be difficult for anyone to live with my projects laying around, and my strange schedules and habits. If he saw how I had the place decorated - he would have a coronary.

I have not laid eyes on him, really, other than spotting him in my neighborhood, in a year and a half, last we were in court Jan. 2011. I haven't sat at a table, or met him - eye to eye since Feb. 2010.

I would say the messages I have left on his cell phone have contributed to that. I want him to have my number blocked as a demonstration that he really wants nothing to do with me. It is not a big deal - his contacts can be re-routed to the restaurant. This is all I ask - that is, if he must make the divorce so darn protracted. I know, I'm asking alot. Or, am I really just asking for him to cut this last connection?

I do wish I could exercise better self control. That would change everything. And actually, my self control has improved drastically. I have to admit, when something like the posibilty of losing my mom, or my brother perhaps having an issue with the estate - this is the sort of thing that gets me weak. H really knows this family dynamic - it's times like this I so miss him.

Hope all you DBer's are well! Yas


Married 27 Years
Together 32 Years
4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08
Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 144
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I want to send a buddy a private message, but the reply says I'm disabled. Why is that? Do u need a certain number of posts to do PM's? Please advise. Thanks, Yas


Married 27 Years
Together 32 Years
4th Year of Separation; D-Day 1 = 9/08, D-Day 2 = 12/08
Divorce Final Sept. 17, 2012
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