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I realize that this is something that she has to get through on her own - and is most likely part of the process she is going through. I accept that there is very little that I can do to help at the moment. And I am doing my best to make sure I don't pin it all on me - but that is hard to do.
She texted me a few minutes ago and asked me to keep our S tonight - that she does not want him to see her like this - said that she was crying too much to take care of him. She then just texted "nervous breakdown". I asked is something specific happened or if it was just everything adding up at once - she said the latter.
Though I accept that there is litte to nothing I can do, I hate to see her in this shape - it really hurts my heart. If she thinks she is on the edge of a nervous breakdown - it looks like all I can do is stand here and watch. I don't want her to be a danger to herself. Her calling off work and crying all day is not good at all....her not wanting the baby on her night is not good.
Naturally, it is in my being to just swoop in and try to fix everything - but I know I am not there right now and that would do more harm than good.
"Though I accept that there is litte to nothing I can do, I hate to see her in this shape - it really hurts my heart. If she thinks she is on the edge of a nervous breakdown - it looks like all I can do is stand here and watch. I don't want her to be a danger to herself. Her calling off work and crying all day is not good at all....her not wanting the baby on her night is not good.
Naturally, it is in my being to just swoop in and try to fix everything - but I know I am not there right now and that would do more harm than good."
One text to her saying: "I'm here if you need me" This is all that is needed right now.
This ^^^ will send the message that she can come to you if it is necessary but you are not hovering and giving her the space she is needing.
Just a suggestion, take it or leave it. No harm, no foul.
Me48 W50 S15 S11 M20 T23 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
I am, in fact, taking my son. W called not long after we got home - wanted to talk to S a little - she sounded a little better, but not good. She asked if I could take S to babysitter in the morning - which is fine.
She said she just kind of "broke down" today. It could be any number of factors closing in at one time - no clue. I just told her I am here if she needs anything - that was about it.
Trying to shake the idea that this has something to do with me - but it is not easy. To be honest, it's hard for me to suppress the anxiety it's causing me at the moment - but I won't let it get to me. Whatever it is with her being on wobbly footing makes me feel like she is running from the R. I know this is mind reading and not necessarily healthy for me. Trying to break the habit. Just being honest.
Wish I could help, wish I knew what triggered everything.
Sometimes the 2x4 is welcomed. Thanks, GM. I have a long and storied history of getting lost in my head with these things. Probably exacerbated by the fact that someone I care about is in distress. Tomorrow will be better for her, and for me as well.
Crimson I have never posted to u, I don't think? What strikes me is that u have never posted to anyone else? Are u that weak, selfish, lost? The way I see it is that everyone tippy toes around u even on this board. Not sure why yet but I think your sitch would be further along if we were more direct with u. Correct me if I'm wrong. It is all about taking that leap.
M 51 W 50 D 17 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”