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#2228232 - 03/06/12 10:24 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: rickb89]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Crimson - sometimes the mind is a terrible thing to "use" So counterintuitive huh? Don't think yourself into a corner!

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#2228234 - 03/06/12 10:26 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: rickb89]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 9274
Loc: Sonoran Desert
rick you are on a roll today. (not to be confused with a rickroll)
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she
could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful
~Terri St. Cloud

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#2228248 - 03/06/12 10:45 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: labug]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: labug
rick you are on a roll today. (not to be confused with a rickroll)


What's a rick roll?

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#2228250 - 03/06/12 10:54 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: labug]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1310
Thanks Rick, GM, LA and all.

I realize that this is something that she has to get through on her own - and is most likely part of the process she is going through. I accept that there is very little that I can do to help at the moment. And I am doing my best to make sure I don't pin it all on me - but that is hard to do.

She texted me a few minutes ago and asked me to keep our S tonight - that she does not want him to see her like this - said that she was crying too much to take care of him. She then just texted "nervous breakdown". I asked is something specific happened or if it was just everything adding up at once - she said the latter.

Though I accept that there is litte to nothing I can do, I hate to see her in this shape - it really hurts my heart. If she thinks she is on the edge of a nervous breakdown - it looks like all I can do is stand here and watch. frown I don't want her to be a danger to herself. Her calling off work and crying all day is not good at all....her not wanting the baby on her night is not good.

Naturally, it is in my being to just swoop in and try to fix everything - but I know I am not there right now and that would do more harm than good.

Crimson

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#2228252 - 03/06/12 11:02 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: rickb89]
tenbusrider Offline
Member

Registered: 01/20/12
Posts: 156
Originally Posted By: rickb89
Originally Posted By: labug
rick you are on a roll today. (not to be confused with a rickroll)


What's a rick roll?


Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down...

Google search, sir! There's probably a very thorough wikipedia entry about the history of the rickroll.
_________________________
Me: 31
W: 28
M: almost 6
T: 10.5
S2
Bomb#1: 05/11
Bomb#2: 11/11
S'd: 11/28/11
Moved back in: 12/28/11
MC: 06/28/12

...what is it about the 28th day of the month?

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#2228253 - 03/06/12 11:09 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Crimson]
2thepoint Offline
Member

Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1700
"Though I accept that there is litte to nothing I can do, I hate to see her in this shape - it really hurts my heart. If she thinks she is on the edge of a nervous breakdown - it looks like all I can do is stand here and watch. I don't want her to be a danger to herself. Her calling off work and crying all day is not good at all....her not wanting the baby on her night is not good.

Naturally, it is in my being to just swoop in and try to fix everything - but I know I am not there right now and that would do more harm than good."


One text to her saying: "I'm here if you need me" This is all that is needed right now.

This ^^^ will send the message that she can come to you if it is necessary but you are not hovering and giving her the space she is needing.

Just a suggestion, take it or leave it. No harm, no foul.
_________________________
Me49 W52 S16 S12
M21 T24
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife

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#2228254 - 03/06/12 11:10 PM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: tenbusrider]
tenbusrider Offline
Member

Registered: 01/20/12
Posts: 156
Crimson, I assume that you're taking your S... that's probably all the fixing that's needed right now. Ask if there's anything else you can do, and if not, just go and enjoy a little time with S.
_________________________
Me: 31
W: 28
M: almost 6
T: 10.5
S2
Bomb#1: 05/11
Bomb#2: 11/11
S'd: 11/28/11
Moved back in: 12/28/11
MC: 06/28/12

...what is it about the 28th day of the month?

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#2228322 - 03/07/12 01:56 AM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: tenbusrider]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1310
I am, in fact, taking my son. W called not long after we got home - wanted to talk to S a little - she sounded a little better, but not good. She asked if I could take S to babysitter in the morning - which is fine.

She said she just kind of "broke down" today. It could be any number of factors closing in at one time - no clue. I just told her I am here if she needs anything - that was about it.

Trying to shake the idea that this has something to do with me - but it is not easy. To be honest, it's hard for me to suppress the anxiety it's causing me at the moment - but I won't let it get to me. Whatever it is with her being on wobbly footing makes me feel like she is running from the R. I know this is mind reading and not necessarily healthy for me. Trying to break the habit. Just being honest.

Wish I could help, wish I knew what triggered everything.

Crimson

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#2228338 - 03/07/12 02:41 AM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: ]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1310
Sometimes the 2x4 is welcomed. Thanks, GM. I have a long and storied history of getting lost in my head with these things. Probably exacerbated by the fact that someone I care about is in distress. Tomorrow will be better for her, and for me as well.

Crimson

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#2228342 - 03/07/12 02:54 AM Re: Never thought I'd be here..........part 11 [Re: Crimson]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2594
Loc: Piney Land
Crimson I have never posted to u, I don't think? What strikes me is that u have never posted to anyone else? Are u that weak, selfish, lost? The way I see it is that everyone tippy toes around u even on this board. Not sure why yet but I think your sitch would be further along if we were more direct with u. Correct me if I'm wrong. It is all about taking that leap.
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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