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#2225932 - 02/29/12 03:55 AM Re: Fear and Love [Re: labug]
jbnati Offline
Member

Registered: 02/27/11
Posts: 2748
Loc: Cincinnati
So true, labug. Having expectations carries with it the risk of disappointment. When you can go with the flow and just play the hand you're dealt, you can feel a lot of freedom.
_________________________
BITS
Me:46 / W:47 / M:19 / T:21 / S13
Bomb#1: 5/8/2008
MC: 5/2008 - 4/2010
Bomb#2: 2/10/2011
W moves out 5/7/2011

'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.' - Matt. 19:26

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#2225936 - 02/29/12 04:07 AM Re: Fear and Love [Re: labug]
2thepoint Offline
Member

Registered: 09/30/11
Posts: 1700
Originally Posted By: labug
bf, this was on my fb wall today.

Let it go, forgive. The past is over and done. Forgiveness is letting go of all hope or expectation of a “better past”. I cannot change the past and let go of the all expectation to do so.


I really like this ^^^, Labug! Thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Me49 W52 S16 S12
M21 T24
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife

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#2225955 - 02/29/12 12:40 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: 2thepoint]
cat04 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/31/09
Posts: 2242
Labug,

Mother issues...those are always hard.

Many of us have them. In fact there is a song, sung by Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson that speaks to my R with my own mom. It describes the feelings she instilled in my core. Ideas that I have always carried with me in the back of my mind.

Most of my life, I have done a wonderful job of keeping those things, her voice quiet. I learned at an early age that I didn't want her getting to me in that way. I became the "rebellious" one. I most often did exactly the opposite of what my mother told me, usually proving her wrong about the results.

When I received my bomb, one of the things I realized was that I hadn't done as good a job ignoring her as I thought. I married someone who was similar to her in ideals. I married someone I spent a lot of years trying to be good enough for, or better than that.

I went through a huge anger phase at myself. For what I allowed myself to experience and tolerate.

I learned that the only person I really had to be good enough for was me. I started making my choices from within without looking for others opinions or attitudes.

I had to learn to shut the voices off. They don't serve me, who I am, who I want to be. In order to do this, I had to know me, who and how I want to be.

The messages are still there. They still surface. I use them as reminders for the most part. Reminders to look within for MY answers.
_________________________

"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox

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#2225967 - 02/29/12 01:48 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: cat04]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 9294
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Oh cat, you so get me.

I just kept running and then trying to make myself into the daughter she wanted and then going back to ask "Now am I good enough?"

She's been dead 2 years and I think I'm finally burying her.

My H was/is not like her at all. He saw her for what she was but couldn't understand the dynamics of our relationship at all. It drove him crazy.

This is a journey about finding ME.

Thanks for sharing with me.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she
could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful
~Terri St. Cloud

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#2226013 - 02/29/12 03:45 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: labug]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Bug, you're awesome. I truly believe you are walking the toughest path of all, one on one, the real you and the universe.
Its very hard to stop and look at yourself from every angle. It's pretty scary, and to admit and know that you have become a product of your past. To break from that and move this to the next level is the noblest things anyone can do.

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#2226081 - 02/29/12 06:16 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: purgatory]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: purgatory
My mom raised me on the White Album! The Beatles just don't sound as good without all the dust and scratchy noises on the vinyl. Do you know what time John was shot? I do. My mom was in the delivery room with me 3 minutes after he was shot and they turned up all the radios to the news. She said she cried for his death while rejoicing my birth. You know that old saying: "for every death, theirs a new life", She liked to think that he was reincarnated in me... But I cant sing.

Didnt mean to go on a ramble, but I love Lennon and I really love that quote you shared smile you always have great thread names- that are always so fitting for the current mood of your sitch.


I was brought up on The Beatles too! We should all be on the cover of Sargeant Peppers "Lonely Hearts" club band!

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#2226110 - 02/29/12 07:55 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: rickb89]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 757
My dad loved the beatles! I remember hanging out in the basement listening to them with him. My first concert was a beatle mania concert. Ah the memories. smile
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2226111 - 02/29/12 07:59 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: barely floating]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Saw McCartney 2x! And, saw Dhani Harrison (son of George) which was awesome. Who was your favorite beatle?

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#2226112 - 02/29/12 07:59 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: rickb89]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Mine was George, followed by John

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#2226120 - 02/29/12 08:22 PM Re: Fear and Love [Re: rickb89]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 9294
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Paul, of course. I was going to marry him, But I was fickle and my heart soon moved on the Davy Jones, who just died.

I'm really depressed now. frown
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she
could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful
~Terri St. Cloud

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