Picking Weeds and Planting Seeds

[2thepoint]

What?? Friggin harsh 2tp! This will test even the hardiest DBer. Is she looking to get a rise out of you?

It depends on how she looks after the procedure, I suppose.

Ack! Did I just say that?

[labug]

GM-really?

2, I have no words.

[labug]

And good luck finding someone to put her to sleep if her heart is that damaged.

[Rick1963]

No kidding? Had she always complained about their size?

[tenbusrider]

Bug - no kidding, most surgeons won't even look at you for elective stuff if you've had heart problems.

[purgatory]

I wanted to get that same surgery.... But I'm not allowed b/c of my heart issues.... Dont let her run to Mexico to find a doc who will do it!

It does seem random unless she's ever mentioned it before. If this is the first time- it seems to be following the irratic behavior patterns that the WAS go through.... Is she looking for a confidence boost? Maybe a new haircut would be less dramatic (and cheaper!)

There's a joke somewhere in here... Involving 'a weight being lifted' from her shoulders and the connection to leaving the M..... Rick? GM?

I'm sure it wasn't a complete shock that she wanted to do something different with her bonus (considering she hasn't done *anything* in the same way) but I bet you couldn't have ever guessed it would be *this*!!!

I hope busto finds your thread soon

[ces67]

Could be a mid-life self-worth thing too. My W has looked at all kinds of cosmetic stuff lately, vericose vein removeal, teeth whitening, lots of weight/loss fitness stuff, wearing much tighter clothes than she ever did. And that's just the stuff I know about....

Definitely not the wisest use of money. Has she ever spent much money on herself before? This could be more of the "time for me" attitude to the nth degree.

[Valeska19]

I love her dearly, but my WAS has gone completely off the deep end with this! She is in the process of recovering from a very close brush with death that occurred less than 1 month ago. She faces the remote possibility of needing a heart transplant and here she is planning to get a breast reduction procedure that I am sure come with its own set of potential health complications.

Honestly 2... her actions or should I say... reactions.... make perfect sense to me.

You hear it and see it in movies all the time...

.... someone is about to die or dying and has all these regrets.. all of these wishes...and all they want is another chance.

This is your w.

She almost died.

And IF she needs a transplant... she must know that finding a matching heart is hard... and even if she does, the body has to accept it.

Seriously.. If that was me... I'd be super scared.

And who knows what I would do exactly... but I do know that I would do some drastic things.

I know that because although I did come close to death, I do feel alive for the first time in awhile and so I'm doing things that I never thought I would do or things that my wife wouldn't allow me to do.

I'm debating about going sky diving. Some people would think that's awesome....

..others would think that is just as insane as getting a boob job.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions.. but it doesn't mean their opinion is my truth.

Seeing where I'm going with this?

Also, I think if this "brush with death" experience made your w run to your marriage... you wouldn't see her as crazy. You wouldn't think that particular "want" as typical WAS behavior.

But she hasn't.. at least not yet...

... instead she wants something that doesn't benefit you or your m.. and is something you can't quite put your head around....

..... so you mind read and assume she's crazy or acting like a WAS.

Stop it!

1) You know mindreading is pointless.

2) You are assuming things because you don't understand why you w is acting that way.. so you are trying to add some kind of rationalization to something that seems irrational to you.

But you can't understand her.. because it wasn't you that almost died.

That is not to down play how hard this is for you.. only to say that there is no way you can understand your w's perspective.

The only thing you can do is accept that her perspective is different.

I guess my point is just becareful with turning your thoughts.. into her reasons.

Make sense?

[bustorama]

reading I will post real reply later. all I will say right now is valeska is wise and don't try to reason or talk ur W out of anything. let the doctors address her health issues. much more later

[BklynMom]

Sometimes I look at these wacky things as positives. Just another sign of how weird they are now. They can not remain this nuts forever,... right??