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#2223118 - 02/17/12 08:57 PM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: mr mr]
~¤DG¤~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 1948
Loc: Wisconsin
Journaling--

It's been a rough few days.
The week started out great, went snow tubing for the first time in 20+ years and had a blast. I did manage to hit my tail bone on a jump and was sore for a few days, but I survived.

IDK what has happened to me, but on Vday I sort of snapped. I think I finally realize that H does not love me in the way that I need and deserve to be, and I told him that the little crumbs he's been throwing me just isn't enough anymore and that it is time to move on.
I've held on for a year and am no longer willing to hold on to someone who doesn't want to hold on to me.
I won't lie, this hurts and I expected it to.
But it also feels very freeing. I loved with everything I had and I don't regret that.

Today, a good friend of mine moved back to his country. Last night we had dinner together along with some other close friends and a lot of tears were shed. I don't know when or if I'll ever see him again and it makes me incredibly sad. I did the full on ugly cry and I hate that face! It is not a good look for me at all.

Lots of changes.
_________________________
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤

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#2223123 - 02/17/12 09:15 PM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: ~¤DG¤~]
labug Online   content
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8381
Loc: Sonoran Desert

ahhhhhhhh((( DG ))) Many of us here making realizations this week. You did all that you could.
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2223154 - 02/18/12 12:14 AM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: ~¤DG¤~]
mr mr Offline
Member

Registered: 01/05/12
Posts: 201
Loc: Wisconsin

"I've held on for a year and am no longer willing to hold on to someone who doesn't want to hold on to me.
I won't lie, this hurts and I expected it to.
But it also feels very freeing. I loved with everything I had and I don't regret that.

Lots of changes."
I
Hey DG, this so expresses my feelings about this last week. Earlier in the week it was more about the hurt, but now it is more about the release of the ......I guess I'd say bondage to the M , and the feeling of freedom knowing that I fought the good fight for my M and my family, but I am just done.
I know I will be ok ...... and I also know that you will be ok ...... now the W and H, them I am not so sure of.....but......not......my........problem!!!!!
_________________________
Michael

Me:46 /W:37
M:13 /T:16
D's:19,18,17,6
S:10
W filed 8/15/11
Court 9/21/12

Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

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#2223311 - 02/18/12 08:04 PM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: mr mr]
mr mr Offline
Member

Registered: 01/05/12
Posts: 201
Loc: Wisconsin
Hey DG,
How you doing today?
_________________________
Michael

Me:46 /W:37
M:13 /T:16
D's:19,18,17,6
S:10
W filed 8/15/11
Court 9/21/12

Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

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#2223329 - 02/18/12 09:42 PM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: mr mr]
~¤DG¤~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 1948
Loc: Wisconsin
Hi Mr-

Today was an ok day. My heart was heavy this morning thinking about my friend who is gone and everything in general.

The kids and I went to the Mall of America today and had a good time. Now just relaxing.
_________________________
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤

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#2223561 - 02/20/12 10:27 AM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: ~¤DG¤~]
~¤DG¤~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 1948
Loc: Wisconsin
Journaling---

Well, Happy "Anniversary" to me I guess. Today marks exactly 1 year since H moved out. It's been the hardest year of my life to say the least.
I'm doing ok today, so far. There really isn't that much more to feel that I haven't already felt.

I received another friend request from him on FB and when I asked him why he said he must have done it by mistake.
I'm not stupid. When you request to be someone's friend you have to confirm your request. There is no way you can hit it accidentally twice. I'm not about to argue about it though. I didn't accept it and I won't.

Just feeling kind of blah today.
_________________________
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤

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#2223565 - 02/20/12 10:44 AM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: ~¤DG¤~]
Oneeleven Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/11
Posts: 301
DG: I am not super-familiar with your sitch, I just wanted to say... re: FB add attempt and lousy explanation.. don't let that steal your thunder.

I think it's so admirable (but sorry you feel you've gotten to the point) that you seem like your able to detach.

Also, re: your friend, could you maybe make a pact with youself to save for a trip to visit him one day. Even if you save for over a year, it would be a fun GAL activity smile

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#2223566 - 02/20/12 10:55 AM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: Oneeleven]
Broken74 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 288
Hey DG, mr mr, and 111,

Wanted to see if I could join you guys in the "I'm done" club. I gained my stripes within the last 24 hours and feel better than I have in the last 6 months. And DG I agree with what you said, I also hit a "snap" point and a moment of clarity amidst the fog of war.

Just wanted to say I know what you guys are going through and I'm dealing with the same stuff, it's awesome that no one here is alone.

Keep your chins up and have a good week!
_________________________
me 38
W 30
T 3
M in 05/2010
Separated 08/2011
Stephchildren (all hers) SS17, SS12, SD8
I filed 8/27, she countered I filed response 9/5
Anxiously waiting on the judge!

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#2223582 - 02/20/12 12:19 PM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: Broken74]
~¤DG¤~ Offline
Member

Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 1948
Loc: Wisconsin
Thanks for the support. It is so helpful to know I am not alone.

I am fortunate to have the day off. The kids are with their Dad so I've been doing some baking but mostly lounging around on the couch reading. The perfect day. wink
_________________________
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤

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#2223620 - 02/20/12 02:34 PM Re: Ease on down the road.... [Re: ~¤DG¤~]
Valeska19 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/11
Posts: 1234
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
((DG))

It's crazy that some of us are hitting that mark. I know it's been a painful year but take some time to reflect.

You've grown so much.. you have so much to be proud of.

I agree that your H's reason for FB is a lie.... but why did you ask him to begin with?

Are you trying to get some form of commitment from him? Are you testing the waters yourself?

I completely understand the feelings of being worth more and the lack of patience.

If you are "done" that is completely fine. There is nothing wrong with it.. as long as it's for you...

...because you need to move on for your reasons.

Not because your H is unable to meet an expectation.

He has his own set of insecurities. His own set of baggage that he will have to work through.

It is up to you if you want to help. It is up to you if you want to be patient.
_________________________
M(f): 31
XW: 33
M: 5
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.

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