Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 32 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 31 32
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted By: barely floating
wow! i second everything NH said. i see so many positives.. even the peep show!

your wife sounds like she is trying to figure things out. and it is so great because it's on her own time. so much better than being part of the walking dead don't you think (which btw is awesome.. i'm almost caught up)? Nice...then you haven't seen all the suprises yet. she has to be ok with herself before she's ok as a we.

I agree banana. There may never be a "we". For now, I'll support her journey without getting in her way, and walk mine for now. We'll see. Hoping same for you

i think it's so great that she's reached out to you regarding the book. i think if she didn't care about connecting w/ you.. she wouldn't bother asking you to read it. if my H would consider reading one self book i would be over the moon! so much better to doing something.. anything!

I hear you....she professed to hate all self help books...and esp MC's early in the bomb days. I remember leaving her The Five Love Languages. Her reaction was as if I gave her a book filled with baby porn! Maybe your H is just not at that point yet? You still have Rutro-ville to go....maybe then? Hope so B.

as your wife tries to rebuild herself, i pray that her journey leads back to you and your family because you are an AMAZING man. you have managed to walk this path w/ grace, empathy and an extraordinary amount of patience. well done eggie!

Thanks banana bread. I never could see this happening...so I guess the fact that I can't imagine a R doesn't mean it won't happen, huh?

in the meantime, what are you going to continue doing for yourself?


Yoga, reading, friends, sons & gf's, book deal I'm in (need to pick up my part of it again - will tell you about it later), guitar, self evaluation, laugh with you and others, tons of movies, spiritual quest, my involvement in Venus project and Zeitgeist movement (more on that later),all things zombie, home projects (remodeling bathroom right now). How's that for starters?

What about you for yourself besides planting large male socks in your bed, and zombies?

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted By: purgatory
Well, as usual, nhmom beat me to it smile

I too see a bunch of positives in your story. She asked *YOU* to drive with her, she knew that meant spendIng time alone with you... And she seemed comfortable with that.

Im sure 'Godzilla' was a surprise as well, but she didn't run away.

Some day I hope that can become a humorous family heirloom story. Although I don't think my S13 will like knowing how his Godzilla t-shirt played into the story!

Your squirrel is coming closer and closer, you just have to continue to be patient but at the same time GAL on your own path... Still haven't figured out how to stand still and move forward at the same time.


As shitty or hard as it is, we have to let go and then consciously decide to walk on alone. Not easy by any means. I wonder where I would have been if this board wasn't available. Whenever I needed a book to help me I used to stop myself in the store, meditate a bit and ask the universe to find me the book. It almost alwsys works that the first book I find id the one I need. I walked to this big a$$ bookshelve and reached for one book. It was MWD DB. I know you and these other great friends because of that one moment - changed my life.

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted By: labug
Godzilla indeed!


Yep, tears down Tokyo, but gives her a thrill at the same time. What a multi-talented guy.

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted By: barely floating
lol!!! i didn't even catch that one!

was going to say something about squirrels.. nuts..

oh! just forget it..


No...out with it!

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted By: labug
Rick, I do think it sounds like your wife is clearing things out.

Have you ever had a joint session with her psychologist? Sorry if this has been mentioned before.


No I wish. She's no way ready to do that, however she is very open with me about what he thinks and his preliminary diagnoses. She's very determined to rebuild her life on her own terms (which I greatly admire) and that may be one of the last barriers she would let down, if we ever get to that point. The dx's I hear about do seem to be spot on given her childhood traumas and resulting habits. BTW, she has decided to stop her anti-anx meds. I think this is her way of taking more control of her life. Hope it works. She has been constantly ill, and I think it's more just the affects of the constant stress.

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,711
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,711
Quote:
She's very determined to rebuild her life on her own terms (which I greatly admire) and that may be one of the last barriers she would let down, if we ever get to that point.


I like the fact that she is determined to get this right and corrected. Just hope for your sake that she doesn't end up taking forever to get to her final destination.


Quote:
BTW, she has decided to stop her anti-anx meds. I think this is her way of taking more control of her life. Hope it works. She has been constantly ill, and I think it's more just the affects of the constant stress.


Stress is a killer! But, I would be concerned about the patient making the decision to stop taking the meds. There are adverse side effects for quitting cold turkey. Is she doing this under the guidance of her Dr.?

I wish my W would stop her meds as well. She has been on them for so long, it just seems like the ailment should have run its course. I think that sometimes a more natural approach to treating whatever the meds are supposed to treat can be just as beneficial and less toxic with fewer side effects.


Me51 W53 S17 S14
M22 T25
Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11

It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.

Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Dangerous territory, guys.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
I like the fact that she is determined to get this right and corrected. Just hope for your sake that she doesn't end up taking forever to get to her final destination.

Whatever is right for her will play out in whatever fashion and whenever. I'm living my life beside her but not in her way, just here whenever she reaches out.

Stress is a killer! But, I would be concerned about the patient making the decision to stop taking the meds. There are adverse side effects for quitting cold turkey. Is she doing this under the guidance of her Dr.?

No, she is making choices on her own about the meds, and as you know intimately its' hard to stand by and wonder what might happen. I'm researching it now to see what I can get off the internet. In fact I am seeing her all over the place emotionally and physically. I'm not sure if this would be occuring with or without the meds. Very scary times here, and a very varied array of emotions. You remember she went through a period of threatening suicide so I am not taking this lightly. I'm talking to a bunch of friends in the health profession behind the scenes, and sleeping with one eye open.

I wish my W would stop her meds as well. She has been on them for so long, it just seems like the ailment should have run its course. I think that sometimes a more natural approach to treating whatever the meds are supposed to treat can be just as beneficial and less toxic with fewer side effects.

She feels that way too, so this decision by her is actually an attempt to regain all kinds of health. Where its related to a psychological issue its tough. She is seeking to find a way to do this naturally and she has an appt with the psychiatrist Friday. I am less worried nowadays about suicide, but I am worried about an accident because she is exhausted, or freaked out, or depressed. You know while driving, or if she goes out with coworkers and gets jacked up. I remember one time she was driving down my street and in a mental fog. I could see her coming and I was jogging. She almost hit me and kept going, never saw me, and that was in her convertible. Like your sitch it's tough letting them make their way when its like this. I'm nervous.

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
R
rickb89 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,119
Originally Posted By: labug
Dangerous territory, guys.


Your in the health profession right? What do you think?

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
I have heard so many stories and read sitches on here that start out: "Well, I went off my meds and didn't tell anybody"

Why?

I see not wanting to take medications for the rest of your life, diabetics don't want to, people with hi cholesterol don't want to, people with hypertension don't want to. Those are choices everyone gets to make. But there is usually a consequence and we call those people future inpatients.

I think medication management with a person trained in medication management is essential. If someone wants to come off meds or try a different one, great, but do it under the guidance of someone who does this regularly so as not to end up in a hole deeper than the one you're trying to get out of.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Page 9 of 32 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 31 32

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard