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#2234431 - 03/30/12 01:36 PM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: sayitaintso]
sayitaintso Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/11
Posts: 951
How's it going DC??
_________________________
Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley

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#2240887 - 04/26/12 05:01 AM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: sayitaintso]
DCSUK Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/07
Posts: 253
Hi Guys!!

It's been a while!!

Not a lot has changed. but the same patterns are there!!

OM was around for a few weeks, it was as if I didn't exist at this time, just the odd text, it really is so obvious!!!

Anyway they had there little trip away, she didn't tell the kids he was going, said it was for a friends birthday, which it was, but she forgot to mention he was going also!!, how crazy!!

I have just moved home again, got a really nice 5 bed place, got a great deal, kids love it, I'm happy, so we move on!!

Yesterday, OM goes back away, guess waht, I get a call!! Haha!!

She was all nice then dropped in, the bank has increased interest rate on the mortage and she is really struggling, could I possibly help!!!

I explained things were tight after moving, but I would help if I could but couldn't promise anything.

I asked if OM was helping her out, basically he lives there when he's home, so why not?

She told me she would never live with him?
The house was for the kids, and she didn't want that commitment with him??
When I asked why not, it sounds she is not that bothered and there is no real future?

Then started about us!!, all the usual rubbish, me, drink, isolation, etc!!
I then told her while I agree with a lot, she had him in the background and only left because he was involved, she played it down but sort of accepted it, then I got she will never love anyone like she loved me, how she still hurts about what happened, and thinks all the time about how happy we were before things went bad!

I said that life/marriage has its ups and downs, nut when we had a down, she left, we never really tried to save it, she just left. She said she didn't know what else to do etc, but knew what I meant.

Anyway, we left on a good note, but reality is kicking in!!

She is broke, is with someone who she has some "fun" with, but it has no real future, and he "ex" is straightened out, happy, well, not drinking, and being a great father to our kids!!

Don't know where it will go, but it does seem only a metter of time before something happens between us again, it might be months,it might be years, but it will happen.

The difference is, I'm not waiting for it, what will be, will be!!

Keep going guys, it does get better!!!

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#2243890 - 05/09/12 08:55 AM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: DCSUK]
sayitaintso Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/11
Posts: 951
Thanks for sharing and luv your perspective. Wishing you and your family all the best.
_________________________
Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley

Top
#2250062 - 05/31/12 08:36 AM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: sayitaintso]
sayitaintso Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/11
Posts: 951
Hey DC- How u doing?
_________________________
Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley

Top
#2254414 - 06/15/12 07:20 AM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: sayitaintso]
DCSUK Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/07
Posts: 253
Hi People!!

Well, what can I say?

Things have changed slightly, but not too much!

Firstly, OM is over, my ex hasn't told me, but I've heard through the grapevine that she ended it with him, I have not seen him at the house, or his car for 7-8 weeks, so I think this is the case, although I have not mentioned him or the situation to her.

Secondly, she is in contact with me everyday, it could be a text, or a call, but there is always contact from her everyday.
I see it as a small positive, we are getting on great, we laugh, send each other jokes, but its all initiated by her.
Yes, I like it, not getting carried away, but it's nice.

There has been a few social events regarding our children and sport, and we have even gone together to these!!!!
We stand together and chat, smile, all nice, no issues, even some of our friends have asked me if there is something going on between us?

There isn't of course, but it does feel like a togetherness, we are both comfortable in each others company, is it a start?, who knows, but its nice.

So, I carry on, being the best "me" I can be,she is noticing, and has even mentioned a few things about my changes.

Either way, my life is so much more settled now

Keep going guys, it gets easier, not better, better for me is her back, but I'm in a good place right now.

Thanks and good luck

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#2255931 - 06/20/12 06:25 AM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: DCSUK]
DCSUK Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/07
Posts: 253
Hi Guys

After things have been going well between us recently, I've been thinking about possibly asking her to go out together?

I know this is a big, no no, but things have been great, and I feel she would be open to it?

I don't want to spoil things between us, but I would like to spend sometime together, so do I ask, or wait for her?



Any thoughts?

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#2255953 - 06/20/12 07:48 AM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: DCSUK]
notsosunny Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/08
Posts: 175
Loc: winter wonderland
I would wait...IMHO There is still an OM involved right?

What your doing right now seems to be working for U.......right?


Carry on.... be mysterious.....GAL She will notice, because she is watching...believe me

Hugs

Cindy Lou
_________________________
Finding Hope

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#2258367 - 06/28/12 05:46 PM Re: Still trying to change!! [Re: notsosunny]
verycrazy Offline
Member

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 1566
Loc: somewhere out there...
I agree with notsosunny. Let the casual family together times go on awhile longer. The more she is in your company this way, without pressure, lets her see how things could maybe one day be again with you two. Who knows, maybe she will ask YOU out.

best wishes always, vc

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