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#2227622 - 03/05/12 02:12 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: barely floating]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 8711
Loc: Sonoran Desert
Quote:
still have a few aces up my sleeve.. i am still the mother of his 2 beautiful children.. i am loving, kind, and just an all around awesome person (ok.. trying to give myself a pep talk).. i'm also beautiful (might as well add that.. i'm on a roll).. ummmm.. hmmmm.. i got nothing else.

Dam straight!

And you do have more: Willingness to take a long hard look at yourself and change, to be open to and respectful of another's POV, you're a skilled professional, you're empathetic and you are one funny meowing hamster!
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2227649 - 03/05/12 03:17 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: barely floating]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: barely floating
Originally Posted By: rickb89
Barely hampster...W reached out some more later today and I always appreciate the effort.

So she goes out for dinner with her friend and brings some home for me, which i think has not happened in a year.

Can you guess what the suprise was? You are right........eggplant!


Talk to u soon!




that made me laugh!


Banana bread - I'm running to a meeting in a minute so need to be quick.....I'm sorry you has such a weekend. It was the same exact weekend for me too....but I hate knowing YOU feel that way. It's harder when someone you know and care about goes thru it...accept your emotion as best you can and keep walking....you are everything you are saying about yourself.....strong, smart, full of life, loving, beautiful, Mom......keep that in mind always!!!!!!!

(((barely)))

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#2227657 - 03/05/12 03:39 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: barely floating]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: barely floating
ok.. so i'm trying to pinpoint where this sudden surge of emotion is coming from..

last night i had a dream.. POW was in it. and in my dream.. i let her have it!! i went on a rant.. telling her she was a homewrecker.. saying things like.. look my kids in the eye and try to justify your actions.. karmas a b*tch! you name it.. i said it!! that fuelled by my conversation w/ H last night about finances and him getting his own place.. blegh! .

It's good to get this out, god do I know how you feel! I think your sitch proves to the world that when a S cheats or your H did or my W did, its not about you and your qualities as a woman...its the H's own issues and the OW really has nothing to do with YOU as a comparison.


i was sad this evening. thinking about the dissolution of my M. hurting for my kids.. feeling sorry for myself. and then i had to remind myself.. the outcome has not yet been determined. it is in God's hands and i just have to continue on this journey.

That's the same advice you gave me for my sad weekend. I'm glad you can give yourself the same advice. And you are right. Mach told me today to just keep getting up and dusting off. That's what we do. Then God sees our efforts and intervenes in ways we often can't see.

i still have a few aces up my sleeve.. i am still the mother of his 2 beautiful children.. i am loving, kind, and just an all around awesome person (ok.. trying to give myself a pep talk).. i'm also beautiful (might as well add that.. i'm on a roll).. ummmm.. hmmmm.. i got nothing else. wink

Ha ha, so true

this is by far the hardest.. most painful walk i've ever had to make. i am just so thankful for the support, insight, and love i receive here. it has been my lifeline through some of my darkest hours. ack! now i have the LOTR soundtrack playing in my head!!


Yeah so painful but you're strong enough, and strong enough to admit when you need help. LOTR...the dark riders are all around us this weekend.

(((hampster woman)))

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#2227674 - 03/05/12 04:43 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: barely floating]
Grmpy_Mnky Offline
Member

Registered: 12/17/11
Posts: 524
Loc: MS
i still have a few aces up my sleeve.. i am still the mother of his 2 beautiful children.. i am loving, kind, and just an all around awesome person (ok.. trying to give myself a pep talk).. i'm also beautiful (might as well add that.. i'm on a roll).. ummmm.. hmmmm.. i got nothing else.

Yup all those things and you are funny as heck! Always make me smile when you are "around".

Hang in there girl!
_________________________
Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.

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#2227676 - 03/05/12 04:51 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: Grmpy_Mnky]
nhmom Offline
Member

Registered: 12/20/11
Posts: 345
Yes, barely, you are an awesome person! And you're strong! And you're a fighter!


((BF))
_________________________
Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11



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#2227976 - 03/06/12 06:28 AM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: nhmom]
hopeless in wa Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/12
Posts: 285
Hi BF, My H. went to lawyer today. Coming here tommorrow for more paper work. He told me in email we will have divorce decree in our hands April 12th. Whoa, guess I need to step up apt. search. This is such hard stinking work! You hang in there!

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#2228147 - 03/06/12 07:59 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: hopeless in wa]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Hi barely! (((((banana)))) hug first ask questions later...hope you're well!

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#2228152 - 03/06/12 08:08 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: rickb89]
purgatory Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 825
Loc: Virginia
Hop... Hop... Hop!
_________________________
M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12

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#2228171 - 03/06/12 08:43 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: purgatory]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 755
furry.. soft.. delicious.. lol

so.. weird night. first off, i will confess that i played hookey from work last night. i didn't bother telling my mom or H. after the emotional weekend, i just wanted some me time.. in my own home.. to putter around and reevaluate things. so.. i had H drop off the kids at my mom's yesterday afternoon where they spent they spent the night.

on mondays.. H doesn't leave until he has to go to work at about 2200. i had to kill time until then so i headed over to my gf's. while i was there, H sends me a pic of a pair of socks asking if i knew who they belong to. i said i assumed they were his (they look like men's wooly hiking socks). H answers no.. he found them 2 weeks ago and now they were in his drawers.. asked if maybe they were my mom's. i replied.. no.. my mom has very girly socks. i said i washed them and assumed they were his. then H said.. he found them in the bed 2 weeks ago. at this point i'm laughing because it's really just kind of funny.. i show my gf the pic and she says.. "yup. those are my socks!" i had put her and her kids in my room when they had stayed over. i didn't share this info w/ H. i didn't pursue this conversation further. lol!

more awkwardness. i head home and get there about 2230. head into parking garage and H's car still there. so i double back and park outside. my mind is racing at this point. thinking to myself.. if there's anyone there, heads are going to roll. i roll in and H gets up from the couch.. looks at the time and realizes he is late for work. calls work to tell them he'll be late and then scrambles to leave. tells me he's taken out the garbage.. asks what time i'm working.. i deflect.

when he's gone, i notice that he has vacuumed our entire place. top to bottom and has tidied up quite a bit. i am impressed! so i send him a txt just to say thank you for taking out trash and vacuuming because i really appreciate it (which was sincere). he replies no worries and then follows it by asking where i was heading out to. i told him no where. make up excuse that i swapped shifts w/ a girl from work because she really wanted my night and i was working in the morning. H then says he didn't see the car in the garage. so i txt back that i've moved it inside now. blah blah.. i end conversation by saying.. i'm glad you made it to work ok and H just says thank you.

i think this has got to be one of the more awkward interactions w/ H in a looooooong time. i'm just going to return the socks and not mention it again.
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2228181 - 03/06/12 08:59 PM Re: Waiting for the tides to change - 3 [Re: barely floating]
mr mr Offline
Member

Registered: 01/05/12
Posts: 201
Loc: Wisconsin
I think I might have to sporadically place socks in the bed for him to find, if he asks again just blame it on the rabbit:-)
_________________________
Michael

Me:46 /W:37
M:13 /T:16
D's:19,18,17,6
S:10
W filed 8/15/11
Court 9/21/12

Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional.

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