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Labug, your are exactly right. I do feel he was keeping score, then bingo, game over.

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I njust noticed a post from a PrincessP. I looks like she thought she was starting her own thread. She is probably wondering why no response. Princess is you are reading my thread you may need to start a new one. This is a great place for help.

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first.. PrincessP.. it's best to start your own thread and then we can post responses to you there. i'll look for you once you have your own thread. there will probably be some delays to your posts but be patient because you will be on moderation for a little
while.

hopeless.. welcome to the board! a fellow westcoaster so maybe someone else who will share my weird hours.

seems rather abrupt what your H did. really makes your head spin. funny, i was talking to a gf about a book she is currently reading and she was saying that men take the lack of interest in sex as a personal rejection. reading your post just made me think of this. maybe i need to ask her the name of the book.


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
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I think you are in Vancouver, I'm real close in Birch Bay. I hope Princess can find her way here. My H. leaving was quick, but I think he had it in his mind for awhile. If only he had given some real notice.

It's interesting, I have a 35 yo d, she's in a R of 5 y. I told her about the book ILYBNILWU, and it is really helping them. Wish I had read it 5 y ago. My H. is having such a hard time w back pain issues, I wish that when he felt better with that he would feel better with us. But don't think so, once he makes up his mind about something that is it.

I agree that my lack of int. in sex was total rejection for him, he really valued that highly. Me not so much, b/c I felt it was just a physical thing with him so much of the time and not an intimacy thing. Men/Mars, Women/Venus?!

I just am going along with this and am going to try to be a better me and maybe someday... b/c it's all happening whether I like it or not. Nice to hear from you!

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Hi hopeless! About the points...they do keep points. In the book mend from mars it says they keep points and deduct them when you do something wrong. Who knew??


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
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Yep! he's always been that way. But I guess I forgot he was like that. Because he never let me in on the game that was happening at the time. Know it now. Maybe I can learn something from that behavior to help me now.?

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Weekends suck! At least I've had some distraction - watching Godfather on AMC all day. It provides some relief. I did do myself proud. After reading other posts, I got a little paranoid about him being able to read my emails. He is very tech, me not so much. So I went in and tried to change my password, thought I did. Then today, it didn't work anymore.

Great now I have to tell him what I did, so he could fix-he loves fixing. But wait, with online help and a call to ISP provider, I got it fixed myself! Yay me.

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good for you! btw.. i love the godfather!! one of my all time favourites.

yes i am in vancouver! birch bay is just a hop, skip and a jump away. my sister's inlaws have a place there. oh! i sense a GAL trip for you!

you are definitely correct about the book. men and venus and sex or something along those lines. listening to her talk about it made me think.. hmmmm.. i need to read that book.

i thought my H left rather abruptly as well but looking back.. i'm sure he had checked out emotionally long before. i just wasn't advised. actually, had things gone on a little longer.. i may have ended up being the WAS because i was questioning a lot of things. this process has made me reassess my priorities and values. never realized how strong i believe in fighting for a M and what i feel is ultimately in the best interest of my kids. who knew?


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 285
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Well I don't have a passport so I need to get the extended license, another thing on to do list. I haven't really read the book mars, venus maybe I should too. Just heard alot about it and how we are so different. You should totally fight, It breaks my heart that he is walking away from a lovely women and such young children. My daughter who isn't married and has no kids is just a year younger than you. It would just kill me to see her go thru what you have. I read way back late into the nite your past threads. At 3:00 am I had to stop, maybe later I can finish them. Nice to have a west coast buddy!

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Leave the gun, take the cannoli!

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