hope you love her, cause you're stuck with her now

[mishka422]

Kat has a very good point. In the last few weeks he has shown what I fear are his true colors. Is that how you want to spend your life?

[MichelleLT]

I rather doubt someone having EMDR, on anti-depressants, and on anti-seizure meds is really a good representation of themselves at this moment in time.

[mishka422]

Well, I hope not. I watched someone undergoing EMDR completely change their personality from someone who was nervous to someone who was angry and combative. It scares me a little.

[MichelleLT]

Doesn't seem like an easy process. But supposed to be very helpful. We shall see I suppose.

Friday night he was texting me with suggestions for puppy dog. And he asked whether I wanted any wine from his friend in Napa. I am no fool, I said yes!

Today he is IMing me about me dropping her off on Thursday before I leave for drill on Friday.

[mishka422]

I sincerely hope he is able to benefit from EMDR. From what I've seen it can go either way. Of course, that's the same result as any kind therapy so.....

Of course you wouldn't turn down wine! That would be just plain crazy! LOL

[Cyrena]

Agreed with Mishka on the EMDR--my H's therapist warned him beforehand that he could be transformed in positive ways, but it was equally possible that there could be lasting negative changes. He was quite scared that agreeing to do it might spell the end of our R.

Enjoy your wine!

[MichelleLT]

Hmm. If Roger's therapist told him that, he certainly didn't share it with me. She seems to have been very positive and encouraging on the EMDR.

[Cyrena]

H's therapist was also quite positive about trying the EMDR, because H wasn't really making progress and the T wanted to get him unstuck. Also, EMDR is great for making rapid changes in overcoming "bad wiring" in the brain that results from traumatic events in childhood. It's just that there's no predicting who that "new," rewired person will be.

[MichelleLT]

Well, that is exactly what he is trying to do. So, sounds like a good fit. Roger has definitely been stuck in his "regular" therapy.

And no worries on the wine. It will be very enjoyable! Even though I probably won't get this batch for a couple weeks, I have plenty to tide me over!

[Cyrena]

I totally agree EMDR sounds like a good fit--he needs to let go of the past and grow up before he'll be fit to commit in any relationship, so whether this therapy works for him or not, at least he needs to give it a chance. And because it's about rapidly changing neural pathways, rather than about slogging slowly through all the painful past, it offers the possibility of fairly quick relief and change.