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#2230972 - 03/15/12 05:26 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: labug]
adinva Offline
Member

Registered: 09/06/11
Posts: 2741
Loc: VA
I'm thinking of you too 63.
_________________________
Adinva 47 H48
T22 M19 S16 S14
6/15/11 IDLY
6/11-12/12 in-home sep
12/16/12 H moved out
Nothing signed yet
____
Be the change you want to see in the world (Gandhi)

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#2231012 - 03/15/12 09:17 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: adinva]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 750
godzilla shall live on
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2231017 - 03/15/12 09:32 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
nhmom Offline
Member

Registered: 12/20/11
Posts: 345
Originally Posted By: rickb89
I finding out it is very necessary to find the sources of this anger (NHMom you there?) and recognize them for what they are. It's the hardest thing to do because if you're like me you get all caught up in how "right" you are, how you know what divine principles are and your S is not living them, how they are hurting the kids and should be judged and executed for this.

Be very careful about knowing the source of your anger. I'm not preaching here because I'm doing this today - asking myself this. It is NOT EASY.

How much of your hurt is truly all about your own feelings, your own gratification? I'm not saying this doesn't sukk totally. I'm saying that if you look at it, it's often because we are not getting what we want or expect.


Thanks of thinking of me when talking about anger smile

I recognize that I have a lot of anger and frustration in me, and I know how important it is to get to the bottom of it. I'm still working on figuring that that. I think it is a mix of things.

Btw, you're a very awesome person! The support you have to offer while going through something immense yourself is invaluable.

I hope you and your son's are doing well! They are so very lucky to have you as their dad, you know that, right?
_________________________
Me:32 H:34 T:14.5 M:9.5 S:5 BD: 11/25/11



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#2231018 - 03/15/12 09:35 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: nhmom]
labug Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/11
Posts: 8428
Loc: Sonoran Desert
and another thing...
_________________________
Me 57/H 58
M35 S24 S21
Bomb 3/11 Sep 3/11
Piecing 9/13 12/13 Reconciling

"We can make ourselves miserable, or we can make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same"~Carlos Castenada

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#2231028 - 03/15/12 10:03 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: labug]
Rick1963 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/11
Posts: 2510
Loc: Piney Land
I dunno maybe we should talk about changing colors or the designs of license plates up north. How much would a plate cost that says " save the mnky" ." these are my "rust balls" or "love dogwoods in the spring"?
_________________________
M 51
W 50
D 17
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 11/12
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden






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#2231032 - 03/15/12 10:08 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: Rick1963]
barely floating Offline
Member

Registered: 12/13/11
Posts: 750
these are my "rust balls" has got to be my favourite.
_________________________
Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11

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#2231055 - 03/15/12 11:55 PM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: barely floating]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
A plate that says "spnk the mnky"

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#2231056 - 03/16/12 12:02 AM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: mr mr]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: mr mr
Hey Rick just checking in to see how it's going. Not bad for me today, check in later.


Michael - I have to say I'm feeling optimistic about the future, and praying W can find her answers in this world. She's constantly sharing her inner being which is good. I can still be her friend and support wherever she ends up, and I do think she has to go out into the world and face it alone in order to overcome her demons. I don't see it happening in the safety net of our home here.

How are you getting on?

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#2231058 - 03/16/12 12:06 AM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: nhmom]
rickb89 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 1119
Originally Posted By: nhmom
Originally Posted By: rickb89
I finding out it is very necessary to find the sources of this anger (NHMom you there?) and recognize them for what they are. It's the hardest thing to do because if you're like me you get all caught up in how "right" you are, how you know what divine principles are and your S is not living them, how they are hurting the kids and should be judged and executed for this.

Be very careful about knowing the source of your anger. I'm not preaching here because I'm doing this today - asking myself this. It is NOT EASY.

How much of your hurt is truly all about your own feelings, your own gratification? I'm not saying this doesn't sukk totally. I'm saying that if you look at it, it's often because we are not getting what we want or expect.


Thanks of thinking of me when talking about anger smile

I recognize that I have a lot of anger and frustration in me, and I know how important it is to get to the bottom of it. I'm still working on figuring that that. I think it is a mix of things.

Btw, you're a very awesome person! The support you have to offer while going through something immense yourself is invaluable.

I hope you and your son's are doing well! They are so very lucky to have you as their dad, you know that, right?


Thanks so much NH. Pretty much everyone on this board are superhuman people...a lot to admire.

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#2231060 - 03/16/12 12:13 AM Re: DB'ing is sooooo hard (part 5) [Re: rickb89]
keep_going Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/11
Posts: 834
Originally Posted By: rickb89
Originally Posted By: nhmom
Originally Posted By: rickb89
I finding out it is very necessary to find the sources of this anger (NHMom you there?) and recognize them for what they are. It's the hardest thing to do because if you're like me you get all caught up in how "right" you are, how you know what divine principles are and your S is not living them, how they are hurting the kids and should be judged and executed for this.

Be very careful about knowing the source of your anger. I'm not preaching here because I'm doing this today - asking myself this. It is NOT EASY.

How much of your hurt is truly all about your own feelings, your own gratification? I'm not saying this doesn't sukk totally. I'm saying that if you look at it, it's often because we are not getting what we want or expect.


Thanks of thinking of me when talking about anger smile

I recognize that I have a lot of anger and frustration in me, and I know how important it is to get to the bottom of it. I'm still working on figuring that that. I think it is a mix of things.

Btw, you're a very awesome person! The support you have to offer while going through something immense yourself is invaluable.

I hope you and your son's are doing well! They are so very lucky to have you as their dad, you know that, right?


Thanks so much NH. Pretty much everyone on this board are superhuman people...a lot to admire.


Rick89 & NHMom - anger seems to be the hot topic of the day. I would certainly fit in the category of the ones that really need to take a good look at my own anger and what purpose it serves me, so I can get rid of it... I have been in a very dark place lately and I am trying to get out of it.

It's good to see that I am not alone, or going crazy.
I empathize tremendously with you both!
And we should at least pat ourselves in the back that we are trying to conquer our demons. We'll get there! :-)
_________________________
Me & H: 43
D6
D5
S2.5
Together: 21 years, M: 16 years
EA: 11/13/10
ILYBNILWY & Separation - 12/23/10
EA becomes PA: Spring 2011
H filed for D: 09/06/12




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