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Im going MIA for a bit. Everyone take care


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 328
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Take care of yourself V


M 44 W 43
S 23 S 15
INILWY 9/11
Divorce Mediation started 3/13
June 30 the day W is moving out
Joined: Jan 2012
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Take care, V. One day at a time.

Mimi


M:37; H:37; M:10 years;T:13 years;no kids.
Bomb ("I love you, but don't feel things for you I should":1/08/12
Separated (H living with various friends:1/18/12
Separated (H rented his own apartment:3/4/12
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Originally Posted By: veroprado
All is not lost. I need to put that on my bathroom mirror.

We had such a good talk right now. We've grown so much in these past 7 mos. But still no R talk. He only says, "who knows what the future holds for us.". This came up totally on his own. I didn't even bring up R talk.



This is great progress V. These sitch's take can take a long time to sort out and it seems that both your H & you are confused, scared, and running the gamet of emotions.

Please take notice of all the positives, no matter how small they may be.


I know it's difficult but I am encouraged by your sitch, stay strong.

Best!!


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
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Hi Everyone!
I'm back!
The last time I posted I was very depressed. H started talking more about moving out of his parents and into the apartment that I renovated for the tenants he's kicking out frown

I seriously thought that he would be back before this but it's well underway. As of April 13 he will be moving into his bachelor pad (most likely having OW there) making breakfast in the kitchen I designed -double frown

Also, the last time I posted we officially started with separate bills. I handle my money, he handles his. This was difficult for me since I saw it as solidifying our relationship since we weren't married.

My pluses have been very good ones, I must say!
I go regularly to Al Anon meetings (It seriously WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!). I attend at least 3 meetings a week. I also started going to a divorce/separated group at my church. I love this group! They're not DBers but it's an opportunity to cry and laugh at our sitch. I go to a therapist that practices cognitive behavior management and it's helped raise my self esteem!

As for H, he's actually more relaxed. It's been gradual but he's a lot easier to talk to. He helps even more with the kids and does things around the house without asking. I tap into his love languages, appreciation-thanking him, praising him, complimenting him; acts of service-asking if he needs me to do something for him (he often says no, but appreciates it); receiving gifts-when I do grocery shopping I'll buy him a little something to snack on when he's over (he loves this).

I have practiced detaching with love and engaging in things that will only bring me serenity.

I know I shouldn't compare my sitch with others, but I did. Now I realize that every sitch is different and I shouldn't put a timeline on it. However, I must say, that once we get to the year mark of DD, I will (not only feel a lot better) but be ready to leave him behind.


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
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He showed up this morning as always and I noticed a lot of funny things that led me to believe he spent the night with OW. I dont even want to mention it because it'll upset me more. I went to an early Al Anon meeting and realized it was that time of the month for me.

I have to admit, last month I was an emotional wreck for 2weeks. This time around I was much better emotionally.

Today S3s school is having an Easter egg hunt. I invited him n he agreed to come.

This is where I flip flop. When he's more receptive and I see signs of hope in his behavior.


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 335
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Ctflor,

That is such a lovely post you read. Gave me some good ideas and pointers. Thank you for sharing that!!!

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PMS is tough! Especially during these difficult times, it's like all the worst feelings just come up from nowhere. I've been looking to balance it for years now, and only recently got it down to a day. At one point it was month after month, then when I saw a naturopath, it all started to calm down. Took a year though to get it down to 10 days. It's now just a day or two.

It takes about 3 months for the results to kick in, but what I found was the best was very high doses of calcium. 1800mg a day - everyday. It has helped soooo much I can barely believe it. But, be consistent and patient with it. What also helped a lot was blackstrap molasses - 1 tsp a day. Take the molasses in the morning and the calcium at night. The molasses has iron so it will help energy levels while the calcium keeps you calm and relaxed in the evening. No point in taking them at the same time as iron doesn't allow calcium to be absorbed properly anyway.

This was one of my H's complaint of me - my PMS - and I worked hard at getting it under control. Still, it was never any fun for me and wanted to sort it out anyway. I was actually getting close to seeing a hormone doctor too because I just couldn't stand the sleeplessness, bad dreams, anxiety out of nowhere, - you know the drill.

BTW, your sitch sounds like it is moving in a positive direction - well done you!!

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Thank u Yankee.
I went back to rereading DR. I haven't picked it up in months. There have been so many changes in our 'friendship' that I should feel proud of myself. I notice we talk more about personal matters (emotional intimacy). Almost like before all this mess. I try very hard to follow the 37rules.

I understand this is a very slow process but this is really going slower than a snail's pace. I'm beginning to think this is a MLC.

I'm going to another Al Anon meeting this evening. That's 2 today. I feel so much better when I'm there.


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,167
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OK here goes, I am PISSED! and H is on his way to drop off S3. Instead of ripping him a new a---, I will yell at him here. So here goes...

I can't believe you don't pick up your phone when I call you in the middle of the night. Our daughter hit herself on the head and what about when our son had a fever and the time the wind was blowing so loud he wanted to talk to you!! Oh but can't interrupt your sex life! Being a parent interferes with your new bachelor life! And you don't worry when the kids get sick, OF COURSE! You don't have to wake up at night with them! You no longer have to fill the humidifier with water. Heaven forbid you're inconvenienced. YOU HAVE TO WORK!

Oh and then you start insinuating that I should work. WHY?? Because your bachelor life/responsibilities as a parent is catching up with you!! DO NOT LOOK AT ME when you had to consolidate your credit cards. I had a strict budget for us. Now you think the credit cards give free money!

And you want to take D out for 4hrs. HELLOOO! She nurses! That means she needs to be with me after 3 hours TOPS!! Feeding her bananas isn't enough. She needs milk! Oh wait, that's right, when S3 was nursing you had no clue what was going on. WHY?? Because you were too busy at the gym!

Thank god for the gym! It provided you an outlet so you could screw around! While I'm at home with our kids. Heaven forbid they close it down, heaven forbid you can't teach a class at the gym!

I hate you so much right now, You're worthless!!


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
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