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There might be meowing cats in there.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Or crack hamsters?


Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.
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I did see some some evidence of fur in there.... Wonder what he's been doing on his nights alone?!

Today was uneventful. I cleaned the floors and did some laundry- not exactly the GAL I would like to do. I planned to take the kids to the Y so we could all burn some energy. H called before we left and asked of he could stop by. I let the boys hang with him for a few minutes, while I stayed upstairs getting dressed for the gym. Then we left as planned- this was kind of a 180, because I would normally adjust my leave time so that we could all hang out while he was there. H was gone by the time we got home. He did call to tell me why he left early (a positive?) he was showing our travel trailer to someone who might want to buy it.

I cooked a bunch of food tonight to prepare for the week: blueberry bread, pancakes, eggie cups (S6 named them), spaghetti and a meatloaf. It takes a lot to cook so much in one day, but it makes the rest of my week go smoother smile

Not ready for Monday, but I don't have a choice!


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12
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Just caught up with your thread. So much stuff!

Hang in there!


Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32
D final 9/12
Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
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I think leaving as planned is a big deal. I have adjusted my leaves so kids could hang with Dad but leaving as planned and going on with our lives is what they have asked of us. It think its good to show them what it feels like.

I am very impressed with all the cooking and cleaning you did with the 2 kids around. I get nothing done when I am home alone with them. NOTHING!! I have to stay up late to clean my house. I send my laundry out to a wash and fold lately, I cant even manage that. Give yourself a gold star.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Single with little kids....i have it easy

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Just caught up on u Purg, u r doing Fantastic, keep it up!!

When was the last time you went back and read your initial threads? You have grown so much!!

Best!


Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley
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SIAS- thanks for checking up on me. I haven't read my early posts in a while, but I'm sure I might be a little embarrassed smirk

Journal:

I got 2 great compliments yesterday.

The first came from our MC. She was calling b/c she needed to close our case and was wondering if we still needed to come for sessions. We hadn't spoken to her since the beginning of January, so I filled her in on OW, H getting his official orders to AFG and my trip to FL. She was more than a bit surprised. She asked a few other questions about the sitch... and then said that I sounded like I was in a wonderful place. That it seemed like I wasn't fighting it anymore and was making plans for a future.

This made me feel like maybe I really *am* in a good place, if she can tell a difference simply over the phone.

My second one came from my IC, who I had an appointment with yesterday afternoon. I hadn't seen her since before my trip to FL. I gave her the overview of my trip details (including my faith intervention) and my 'soul bearing' talk with H just last week. I told her about getting my job and she got caught up on my heart issues. I felt bad b/c the whole 1.5 session was mostly me talking and her interjecting here and there. After all was said and done, she said that it seems like a weight/burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and that I seem to be stronger and happier. I was surprised by the happy statement- but maybe she sees something I don't.

Not related.....
On the way home, I heard a song on the radio- have no idea what it is- but a verse got me thinking....The singer was asking his lost love if she would mourn for him if he was gone forever.
I started crying my car, sappy but true. I wonder if H would mourn for me if I died. What if my heart surgery goes wrong? What if I got in a car accident? I would like to assume that he would be sad, but would he be mourning a friend or his wife? Would it make him regret his choice to leave? Would that be the 'bomb' that he needed to shake his train of thought?

I know, not positive thoughts. But sometimes I think it's healthy to let your mind wander- as long as you can bring it back in... which I did smile

Then my night ended with the baby getting a fever of 103 and a sleepless night. I text H to let him know about it last night, and this morning- with hardly a reaction out of him! It's so uncharacteristic of him- he's usually right there next to me on the sleepless nights and calling a few times through out the day to check on the ids when they're sick- I haven't heard from him all day.

Guess the WAS really is in their own world.


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12
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that is weird about H not contacting to check up on the kids.

as for your thought about whether H would mourn you.. i wonder the same thing sometimes. and then it makes me too sad to consider the response. makes me sad just thinking about it right now! so.. i just have to let it go.

it's hard.. trying not to dwell on the things that you can not control. no magic answer. i guess we just have to keep GALing!


Me:38.. H:33.
Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3
M:8.. together for 11.
Bomb dropped:10/17/11
Separated:11/07/11
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Purg and Barely....they would absolutely be devastated if something were to happen to you. They might continue to act "as if" they knew what they were doing all along, you know, all the justifications needed to cover the confusion and guilt, but they would know and suffer.

Saw this first hand. When I moved to US and my Dad was in Vietnam, they were in our type of a sitch. My Dad came home from Vietnam with a new wife, an American he met in Saigon and they moved to VA. Then my Mom got sick and died. My Dad still suffers the horrible sense of what was unfinished business and it was 30 yrs ago. Still regrest it to this day.

These H's of yours are playing with fire....and they can't help themselves at present...and are risking losing the greatest of gifts (you) they had in their lives. I hope they can wake up. I've seen how it can end otherwise.

hugs to both hampsters

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